


Past the Point of No Return

by TellmesomethingIdontknow_88



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome battle scenes, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, Closing loopholes in the movie plot, Don't roll your eyes at me, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fixing Episode IX, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), How it should have been written, It works for the plot, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Let's Force choke Hux for fun, Non-Disney version, Plot, Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Smut, Spoilers, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, They've worked too hard on themselves and each other not to get that happy ending JJ!, Tros fix-it, Unplanned Pregnancy, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), What were you thinking JJ?, first-time sex, reylo is endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:02:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 81,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23805049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TellmesomethingIdontknow_88/pseuds/TellmesomethingIdontknow_88
Summary: A non-Disney fix-it for TROS and post-canon. The plot takes off after TLJ. Kylo Ren goes to Exegol, following what he thinks is the voice of Darth Vader guiding him. There he meets Darth Sidious (formerly known as Emperor Palpatine), who seems to know the true path to the power of the dark side, and the truth to Rey's past. After a night of passion, which both Rey and Kylo feel unsure about, she finds out that she is pregnant. Kylo Ren has visions of his son as his apprentice. What will Rey do?*Completed*
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 95
Kudos: 175
Collections: Rey/Ben Solo, Star Wars





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was absolutely gutted by TROS and it has been bothering me for months now. I've read so many fanfics trying to make it right in my head, but I always reach the end and think, "that was nice, but I know that's not what really happened." Hopefully writing this will be cathartic, but also help others who were unhappy with TROS. Ben/Kylo and Rey have come so far, and specifically Kylo/Ben has gone through such a character arc in the first two movies, they really did him dirty, he deserved more.
> 
> I appealed to my husband (a true Star Wars fan since childhood), whose fault it is I am now one of you, to help me write this story, and together we've done research and tried to be as canon-correct as possible. At first we thought bringing Palpatine back was lazy writing, but through research it made a lot of sense actually, it just needed a bit more finesse and explaining of the plot holes. Hopefully there's a little of something for everyone: plot, battle scenes, romance, smut, and a Reylo baby (significant to the plot in more ways than one). Of course, we have been influenced by a few other fantastic fanfics. We will try to upload two chapters a week (we're both still working full-time during lockdown).
> 
> It's our first time writing any kind of fanfic, so all constructive criticism, comments and kudos are more than welcome. Please, please let us know what you think!

"I have brought you

That our passions may fuse and merge -

In your mind

You've already succumbed to me

Dropped all defenses" - Past the point of no return, Phantom of the Opera 

* * *

Here again, it always came back to this. His dreams always took him to this moment, his most triumphant and singularly most painful. It was a battle for the ages. Light fighting side by side with the dark, as one, as if they had trained and fought together all their lives. Ducking as the one arced their lightsaber across the other, using each other’s bodies as an extension of their own. The force flowing like blood between them. In that moment, his deepest knowledge and longing confirmed, as he had once said to Rey, “Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.” He knew in this moment that she also felt it and could no longer supress it. A flash forward and he was standing there with his hand outstretched, begging her to be by his side, but it was more than that, wasn’t it. The force was calling out to both of them as if, in that moment, rejection would have been inevitable. How could she not understand what he meant to do? His great plan for the galaxy - and he had meant what he said about letting the past die, hadn’t he? Suddenly it was as if he was watching this moment from outside time, as a spectator with little power to change the outcome, to make her understand. If only he could go back, word it differently, explain everything. But it is then and not now. And of all his powers, this is one thing he cannot control. The words ring out clearly as he says them, “Rey, I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy” He swallowed nervously, imploring her with his eyes as she incredulously whispered, tears in her eyes, “Don’t do this Ben. Please, don’t go this way!” And then, inevitably, he lost his temper with her and, along with it, the words he should have said.

Yelling at her to try and make her understand where tenderness would have worked twice as well, as he had learnt over the last couple of weeks through their force connection, growing more frequent since this fated interchange. In this moment, which he knew he could never change, he realised that he had not let the past die. That he was holding on to the Kylo Ren of past, Snoke’s Kylo who could barely reign in his temper at the best of times. But how could he be expected to be a new Kylo with his master’s voice still a whisper in his mind. Years of mental slavery, torture, invasion of privacy and never a sense of himself without Snoke at the core of his being. He wished in that moment that the years of conditioning, mentally and physically, had not still been so easy to lay grasp of in this desperately important moment. He had completed the rule of two, he heard it as clearly in this moment as when his former master had once recited it to him, “Two there should be. No more, no less. One to embody power, the other to crave it.” How many other Sith Lords had met their end at the hand of their apprentice. But this was different, he reasoned, he had not killed Snoke because of a desire or craving for power. He had killed Snoke to defend and protect Rey, the very thought of that rotting decay of flesh laying his bare fingers on _his_ Rey triggered a revulsion so strong that he had no choice but to act. He didn’t even regret it, he had outgrown Snoke’s ambition, which was so limited in its philosophy of light and dark.

Again, like a hundred times before, he saw the rejection and the pending battle of wills ensue. He felt the struggle and the anguish of this moment every time he was brought here. As suddenly as it came, the dream ended and he sat up, his ragged breath catching in his throat, sweat streaming down his face as the words echoed around him, “You are nothing. But not to me!” The agonising emotion of the dream opened their connection. She was meditating on the floor of what looked to be her room, which he had come to know over the course of the last few weeks. Her eyes flew open as she felt his presence materialise before her,

“Can’t you see I’m busy,” she hissed, and then, unmistakeably, she felt the power of his anguish and her countenance softened, but almost imperceptibly. “Nightmares again?” She asked.

“Yes,” he answered tersely, the pain so real to him in this moment. Damn the force for connecting them now of all times. A cosmic joke it seemed to him. They stared each other down, until at last he spoke,

“No matter how much you meditate or train, you will never be rid of me. It seems that the force has destined us to be together, willingly or not. Don’t you know how much easier, and how many lives could be spared, if you just gave in and joined the dark side? The galaxy needs order and only you and I are capable of bringing it.”

This was as close as he could ever come to repeating the fateful words from his dream, and the memory that birthed it. His pride and anger would not allow him to be vulnerable to her ever again. Rey sighed, rolling her eyes.

“This bantha dung again. You’re wasting your breath. I will never join the dark side, not for anything… or anyone. No matter what I might think of them. I saw you turn, Ben. I saw it in my vision,” she says earnestly and with an unexpected entreaty in her hazel eyes.

“And is that what keeps you going? The thought of saving me. To what end? Why should you care about saving me when you could focus all your energy into destroying me?” he replied, the last part said in hushed, almost intimate tones. At last, it seemed he had managed to fluster her. She replied almost angrily,

“Because that is not the Jedi way. We do not destroy,” she then recited the Jedi code to him, which she undoubtedly knew he must know even better than she, “There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, only the Force.”

He looked at her mischievously and moved closer, reaching down and grabbing the underside of her wrist, “That will be _your_ downfall, Rey. No emotion? No passion? We both know that’s not true…” At the feeling of his soft skin against hers, her pulse began to hammer. At his words, she turned away in shame, knowing that he was right. Shame turning to anger, she replied,

“Why do you torment me? Are you to be my own personal Snoke?!” At this he stumbled back in shock and the connection was severed.

Kylo was thrust back into the cold, lonely void of his chambers. He roared in anger and pain, determined not to let her words affect him. Grabbing his saber, he walked over to his desk and ordered the preparation of the training room and his favourite sparring partner. He stormed out of his chambers, force pushing any member of the First Order out of his way, although they seemed to scatter when they saw him anyway. He tried not to think overly much about his recent interaction with Rey, although he couldn’t slow his breathing. The voice of his old master almost seemed to whisper at the back of his brain, “Foolish boy!” He could almost, not quite, but almost hear the evil laughter swell in his ears. He nearly turned around to see if it was real, and then it was not. It was just an echo of the past. A past that not too long ago he had wanted to let die.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo tease and taunt each other. They haven't known each other very long, and let's face it, Kylo is not good with women. Plus, getting to know someone through a Force bond can be pretty awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note - we don't own Star Wars and as such are not profiting from this fanfiction (except to cure the ache in our hearts) -
> 
> Please let us know what you think.

"You have brought me

To that moment

Where words run dry

To that moment

Where speech disappears

Into silence"- Past the point of no return (Phantom of the Opera)

* * *

The three celestial bodies had barely risen in the early morning sky when Rey woke, as was her custom. It had been weeks since her last encounter with Kylo Ren. The air in her small room was still cool from the night mists. She was fortunate to have a room of her own with a very basic refresher, being a Jedi, or at least a Jedi padawan had its advantages. Seeing the Jedi manuscripts still open on her small desk reminded her of her training with General Organa. She remembered with grim satisfaction the day that Leia had offered to be her Master. She had only ever suspected (and had heard as much) that Leia was Force sensitive. She could never have guessed that Leia herself had trained under Luke, even though she had chosen to leave the Jedi path for other pursuits. Leia’s training methods had been unorthodox, and showed a different side to the tough warrior that even Rey had not guessed at. She was somewhat more like her brother in these times, mysterious and frustratingly cryptic at times.

This morning’s meditation session, she found herself rather distracted. Something seemed to hum in the Force, but she was not strong enough yet to discern what it was. This caused her to briefly allow herself to think of Ben, no, Kylo. But only the barest flick of a thought as she was determined not to open the connection, if indeed that was how it worked. In that, at least, he seemed as unknowledgeable as she was. Despite pouring over most of the Jedi texts over the last couple of weeks, she had been unable to find any clarity around the Force bond that existed between them. She met Leia at their usual training place, a clearing in the humid jungle of Ajan Kloss, their home – for now.

“I was not aware that training began at lunch time,” muttered Leia almost sarcastically as Rey approached, bemoaning her tardiness.

“Good morning Lei- I mean Master. Please forgive me for being late. I spent most of last night studying the texts again, and I was distracted this morning,” Rey explained hastily, blushing. She was not accustomed to having something akin to a mother, or even a master, as Luke had refused to train her.

“Fine,” said Leia, “and you can just call me Leia,” motioning to her to take up her training stance. Having fought battles before, and no less against Leia’s own son, Rey had expected to learn advanced battle forms. It had been no little surprise or frustration that Leia had insisted they work on basic forms, slowly and mindfully tracing the air with her staff so that she would feel the Force not only around her, but through her. This took up the most of their time in the initial weeks of training. She had come to know the Force as one knows the flow of a river, like the many on this planet that she had explored in her spare time. Although it was nearly as hot as Jakku, the humidity was something that had taken the most to even begin to get used to, not that she had even after weeks of it. She had also spent her spare hours before returning to study the texts to become better acquainted with her fellow rebels. She barely heard Leia telling her to stop with her forms as she was deeply engrossed in the presence of the Force, becoming more familiar with its flow.

She made her way to the mess hall, or what they fondly thought of as resembling a mess hall. At least, it was where every meal took place.

“Heya,” greeted Finn as she walked in. He seemed to have found his place so easily amongst the Resistance, despite having once been an enforcer for their enemy. Rey was envious that he had found his place when she still felt at odds with those around her. Some part of it was due to growing up isolated on Jakku, but she was not unaware of the different treatment she received due to her Force powers. She knew that many feared what they could not explain. Hell, even she couldn’t explain it. A nobody from nowhere whose parents had sold and abandoned her. She remembered with a shiver, “You know the truth. You always have. Say it,” and then _his_ words rang in her ears, “you are nobody… but not to me.” She pushed the thought away, smiling warmly at Finn, returning his greeting. To her absolute horror, the smile died on her lips as Kylo stood behind Finn in the mess hall, shirtless no less. He had obviously been training as the sweat ran down his muscular torso. Force dammit! How had she not become impervious to him shirtless?! When he saw her, he stopped mid-stride, holding her gaze for far too long, even though it was only a moment. Rey could feel the heat rising into her face, she could not give herself, or Kylo, away to Finn. Her reaction to him being shirtless had not escaped Kylo’s notice. As if to tease and taunt her, he bowed as if he had just given the greatest performance of his life. As he came up, he gestured to his torso with both hands as if it were a gift to her. Only someone with an ego the size of a kriffing Solo would have the gaul to be such an exhibitionist. He almost laughed at her reaction to that, almost, she had never seen him laugh or even smile, at that. She wanted to throw something at him but knew she could not risk drawing attention to their connection. She decided to ignore him and pulled Finn to walk off towards a table. Finn seemed to have noticed her sudden change in demeanour, his brows pulling together into a frown.

“You know you can tell me anything, right? Being your best friend and all, and saving your life, yadda yadda yadda,” Finn said, smiling, and then the smile left his eyes but remained on his lips.

“Of course! As if! We both know that it was me who saved you,” she quipped, teasing Finn naturally.

“It’s just… and I know I don’t know much about these things, but sometimes I get these feelings about things. Kind of like a gut feeling but not quite? Not sure if that makes sense…” he ended suddenly not knowing what else to say. Rey was about to answer when Kylo interrupted her, thinking to her through the bond,

_Oh please! Has FN-2187 even the slightest clue what he’s saying?! A mewling traitor like him could never even begin to understand the merest basics of the force, never mind ‘gut feelings’. This is the kind of conversation you ignore me for? It would be better if you went and spoke to a wall._

Rey steadfastly ignored him, barely supressing an eye roll in his direction.

“ _Finn_ ,” she said, adding emphasis to his new name, “I completely understand. We’ve been in and out of danger since we met. It’s only natural,” this she said with a pointed look at Kylo. “Besides, I think men who are in touch with their feelings are much more evolved than priggish, primeval brutes who blunder through anything in their way.” At this, the connection seemed to waver and then close. Finn began to respond but then his name was called over the comm link, abruptly ending their conversation.

Later that evening, as she was preparing for bed, she suddenly felt the room around her fade and ripple as the Force connected them. He was not in what appeared to be his quarters, it seemed more open judging by the way his voice carried. At first she didn’t think he had seen her, but then he looked straight into her eyes and away again. She could have sworn that he was happy to see her in his maniacal, ‘overlord of death and doom’ way. It dawned on her that, for once, it was him who was in an uncomfortable position, needing to supress her presence.

“Oh Be-en,” she called out in a sing-song voice. He ignored her entirely. She would have to try harder, unable to conceal her delight at being able to taunt him. Not exactly a mature thing to do, but in the moment she couldn’t resist. She walked up to him and stood in front of him, making it impossible to ignore her. Whoever he was talking to seemed none the wiser. “So who are we boring to death tonight, oh Supreme Leader of those who wear black?” He clenched both hands by his sides until the knuckles were whiter than usual and excused himself angrily, stunning the other person into silence.

“Just get it done Hux!” He called over his shoulder. Unable to help it, Rey followed Kylo to his quarters.

“Shouldn’t you be meditating on a floating rock somewhere?” He ground out. Rey nearly laughed and quipped back,

“I see you and that worm Hux are getting along well,” she made conversation as if she actually cared.

“Not that it matters to you, but he gets the job done. He is rather calculated and efficient even if he is a snivelling worm. I find his mere presence tiresome. That voice…” Kylo stopped himself, realising that he should not be discussing his second in command with the enemy.

“Don’t you ever sleep? Or is there some Supreme Leader fountain of energy I should know about?” she said cheekily, changing the topic.

“Don’t _you_ ever sleep?” He said, ignoring her taunt.

“It’s difficult for me,” she shrugged, “I’m not used to a bed…” she finished lamely, realising that Kylo Ren didn’t care if she slept on a bed or on a table out in the open in the mess hall. He surprised her by answering,

“Oh, I forgot that you grew up in a piece of junk on Jakku … I know how hard it is to get used to a new environment.” She suddenly remembered that he had not always lived in places like Starkiller Base or a ship like the Finalizer.

“Maybe it’s the Force that keeps both of us up,” she offered, shrugging her shoulders again. She was acutely aware of both Ben Solo and Kylo Ren in the man before her. Sometimes it was easier to just focus on defeating Kylo Ren. Pouring out her angst towards the idea of this dark, brooding leader that sought to kill everything dear to her. It was far harder to remember that he was a man too, heavily burdened and troubled. Was there enough of Ben Solo left to save? Her silence seemed to embarrass him, as if he felt that he ought to say something to fill it. He noticed her sleep attire, simple faded shorts and a sleeveless tunic over it.

“It’s strange to see you not dressed as a Jedi,” he offered up awkwardly.

“Well, your mothe- General Organa insisted that I wear something else to sleep in. Apparently it’s the civilised thing to do. It’s small things like this…” She cut herself off mid-sentence. This was even worse than arguing or duelling with sabers. It almost felt like he was trying to be nice to her, and it did not quite fit.

“My mother was the height of what _used_ to be considered civilised,” he said with a bitter note of sarcasm, and then thought better of it, abruptly changing the topic. “Have you had any luck deciphering the texts? You know, I know a lot about these things, being so much older than you, I could teach you,” his eyes held a curious light and yet his words were not quite a taunt, not quite serious. Rey wasn’t sure how to answer. As she was formulating something to say, that familiar ripple ran through their connection and he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren follows a vision that he had to Mustafar, where Fortress Vader stands unvanquished with the Sith Wayfinder guarded inside. He needs the Wayfinder to follow his true destiny. **WARNING** Some may find the short battle scene graphically violent. Please read with caution or skip this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So despite saying we'd only post 2 chapters a week, we couldn't help but work on a few chapters yesterday, it's quite obsessive. The others aren't quite done yet, we're working back over them to connect the golden thread of the plot but I can't wait until they're ready to post! This chapter has a short battle scene in it, so if you're sensitive to violence then please skip this and come back when we post the next one.
> 
> We don't own Star Wars and as such are not profiting from this fanfiction (except to cure the ache in our hearts) -
> 
> Please let us know what you think ;)

* * *

The Nav computer beeped on the control panel, indicating that he had arrived on the Gahenn Plains where Fortress Vader stood unvanquished. Kylo commanded the officer to set the ship down, he would proceed alone. The atmosphere on Mustafar was hot, humid and smelt of sulphur. It was a small discomfort in the face of what he meant to do. The Force had not connected them in months, but all the same, he kept his shields up in case Rey reached out to him. He could not risk the Resistance learning of his plans. He had to remember that he barely knew her, despite this dangling cord between them and an undercurrent of something bittersweet. As soon as he stepped out he felt it. The call to the dark side and to his grandfather. He heard Lord Vader say,

“You are close, my apprentice. Here you will find what you seek.”

He was in search of the Sith Wayfinder, a compass to the deepest part of the dark side. He had seen it in a vision and a possible future through it if he could just stay the course. He arrogantly entered the fortress, it was, after all, his birth right. Ultimately, this was his. Upon entry, Kylo realised his foolishness; no Sith lord would leave anything this precious unguarded, but he was no stranger to warfare and the thought did not perturb him, in fact, it made his blood pump faster. He felt a disturbance in the Force, and no sooner descended a troop of Sith Acolytes. Kylo was ready for them, but they could not have known this as he knelt on one knee in front of his unlit saber, eyes closed, like a tiger waiting to pounce.

At once, without any warning or attempt at speech, one of the Accolytes lunged for him. He came down on both knees, arching backwards as the Accolyte’s saber flew in an arc over his head. As it swung he leapt into action, switching on his saber as his right arm came round and severed the Accolyte’s head clean off his shoulders. The thud of the head was deafening on the cold stone floor. The battle then began in earnest. He had learnt the Ataru form too many years ago to remember now, it had become part of his consciousness, and as a large user, it gave him more power while masking his agility. His body flipped and spun as did his saber, lancing through one opponent after another. It was like the Kyber crystal hummed louder with each opponent that he struck down. He twisted his wrist this way and that, gracefully turning the saber from one hand to the other, parrying blows and dancing from his front to his back foot. If it had not been for the hatred and violence embodied in his quick movements, it would have seemed like a ritual in itself. He warded off incoming strikes from the two remaining Accolytes, biding his time to strike true. He jumped backwards, his saber held in a manner that invited them forward and into his space, their fatal mistake. Spinning his body to dodge their blades as he swung the saber in a cryptic pattern behind his back, then in a ring above his head, he finally lunged forward and up, sending his saber through the heart of one opponent. Then, he swiftly withdrew it and in one fluid movement drew the saber up above his head with both hands and swung it directly down across the last Accolyte, efficiently cutting him in half. He Force pulled two sabers towards himself, and thought, _“She might turn yet, and I need to be prepared.”_

He truly felt alive and took a deep breath, feeling the adrenaline surging through his body. He surveyed the humanoid carnage around him, chest heaving and a filthy grin on his face. The Wayfinder beckoned to him and he followed its dark tune. The deeper he ventured into the fortress, the stronger the pull from the dark side became. He heard Vader’s voice again, forceful and low as he reached the altar room where the Wayfinder was kept.

“This will give you what you seek, power beyond imagining and order in the galaxy.”

As he picked up the Wayfinder, Vader appeared in front of him. “Grandfather … Lord Vader” He stammered, kneeling before him in subterfuge.

“Use the Wayfinder and together we will complete what I started so long ago…” instructed Vader and disappeared.

“Yes, Master” Kylo answered, swinging around and ordering into his comm link, “Prepare the ship, we leave at once!”

_______________

The Wayfinder glowed back up at him as he linked it to his TIE fighter back on board the Finalizer, the coordinates set in on his Nav computer, ‘Exegol’ it read.

“General Hux! Continue as planned to Kessel, the spice mines will prove invaluable in funding our pursuits.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Hux drawled with the barest of attempts to hide his disdain and pure hatred for the leader he was sworn to serve. _I hope he dies_ , Hux thought to himself, again having to tamp down on the urge to rub his hands together. The only thing helping him to keep his feelings in check was the thought of being Force choked, again, a seemingly favourite pastime of the Supreme Leader. 

_______________

Exegol was as desolate and stark a planet as could be hoped for when attempting to draw closer to all that was the dark side. Once on the surface, it was like Lord Vader was calling Kylo Ren and all he could do was heed the call. At the back of his brain something cautioned him, some ancient instinct that told him to be on his guard. In his thirst for more, he did not listen. He heard a voice… almost like that of his old master, yet not somehow. He had come to know that voice better than his own and this had a raspier, drier note to it, if it were somehow possible. Now the warning in his mind began to blare and he ignited his saber as he descended into the bowels of the planet.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Leia forgo saber training to focus on meditation and learning to connect with other life forces using the Force. Rey struggles with mesophonia and panic attacks because she's not used to so much noise and sensation, having only a few weeks ago left the solitary isolation she grew up in on Jakku. Luke appears to Rey and breaks the news to her that she and Kylo Ren are a dyad in the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we wanted to do the opposite of the movies and convey that Rey doesn't suddenly just magically figure out how to do stuff the moment she focuses on learning how, otherwise none of the Jedi would have needed a Master, the Force would've just revealed it to them. That never felt very realistic, plus it does nothing for her character development (look at Captain Marvel in the MCU, and that didn't work out so well for her character did it? A lot of people can't stand her character because she's too perfect). 
> 
> We also took a moment to write a small section from Leia's POV because we felt that she didn't get enough screen time in TROS. I know it's because the actress had sadly passed on, but it felt very disrespectful that they didn't even give her death scene much screen time. One minute she was alive and well, next minute she was dead. No explanation as to how or why. They could have at least had two characters discuss her death or have Maz say some kind of benediction over her body (not that we're going to do that), just explaining that we felt we had to give her a bit more respect. None of this would have been possible without her role in the original trilogy. I listened to Leia's theme song while writing her part of this chapter, you can listen to it at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtkuZbcZORE
> 
> * RIP Carrie Fisher *

* * *

It was morning on Ajan Kloss, the one day of the galactic standard week that Rey always looked forward to. It was on this day that she had Leia all to herself for the entire day, no breaks, no interruptions. Poe did not enjoy this day quite so much as he was in charge while Leia was away and although he would never admit it, he was terrified of screwing up. The big jock with the loose mouth was always quiet in the mess hall on these days. Little did he know that Leia was preparing him for the day when she would step down or worse… They had come close to losing her once before when the First Order had shot at her, her nearly lifeless body hanging in space. They had been extremely fortunate that she had been able to save herself using the Force. Leia herself was not unaware that at any moment her time in this realm could end. This was why she devoted as much time as possible to helping Rey on her journey, sensing the younger woman’s insecurities, but also the potential of greatness that emanated from Rey.

Today, Leia had already made sure that all orders were directed to Poe. This was not going to be a normal day of training. She briefly thought of Han, although they had not been together, in the strictest sense of the word, at the time of his death, she felt a pang of loss whenever she thought of him. She grieved the loss of her soulmate. He had been her first and only love and she had never really stopped loving him, even though he had become even grumpier as he aged. No, what had separated them was what had happened to their son. She had never wanted to send Ben off to Luke, but it was the only place that he would have been safe. Even then, his powers had grown faster than he had as a boy, which had made him a target. Han had never been the same after Ben left and had blamed her, even more so when Ben turned to the dark side. In their last few days, when Rey had brought Han back to her, Leia had wondered if they could try again. Although different, older versions of themselves, they still loved each other, she could feel it every time they were near one another. The fact that he had given his life to try and bring Ben back to them was testament to his love for her, and love for their son. He had never given up on their son. To honour Han, Leia felt that she had to make this right, finish what Han had tried to do.

As Leia left her quarters, Lieutenant Connix approached her with a data pad with a look on her face which meant that this issue would likely take an hour or two to resolve. “General, I just need a minute…” Leia held up her hand,

“Lieutenant, as you full well know, I am not the general today. You can address your concerns to Commander Dameron today. I am not to be disturbed for the entire day as I will be training with Rey,” then she patted the lieutenant’s arm with something close to genuine affection. The lieutenant nodded her ascent and went on her way to find Poe.

Leia chuckled to herself, knowing how frustrated Poe was about to be. Well, she wasn’t going to be around forever and the sooner he learnt the ins and outs of leadership the better. She found Rey at their usual spot.

“I wasn’t aware that training began at lunch time” quipped Rey, referring to Leia bemoaning her lateness more than once. Leia began to laugh, and Rey joined her. For some minutes they stood in the sunshine laughing in a companionable way. In that moment, Rey thought to herself that nothing would equal this moment again. Leia’s brown and grey hair shone in the light, a light that extended to the warm depths of her brown eyes. The love that she had begun to feel for Leia had started to fill the void in her heart.

“Today, we are going to do something different. Have you been practising your forms?” she asked.

“Yes, but there are so many, and they’re not as easy as I thought,” Rey complained.

“Well luckily for you, I have a gift that will help you,” Leia said, motioning to a droid that Rey had never seen before. “It’s an old galactic sparring droid. It has been programmed so that you can practice all seven forms. But today, we will not be working on forms,” she motioned for Rey to come closer, “I have sensed a disturbance in the Force. I know what you are facing is difficult and seems impossible, but I believe in you,” She placed a slender hand on one of Rey’s shoulders, her confidence and reassurance flowing off her in waves. “Today we will meditate and work on centering yourself in the Force. Maybe we can throw a few rocks around,” Leias eyes twinkled as she said this.

They sat down in the sunlit clearing, she heard Leia’s voice softly intone, “Clear your mind, Rey. Let your consciousness float away, become one with the Force. Let it flow through you. The Force lives through you and all around you.” Listening to Leia’s gently rasping voice calmed Rey and helped her let go of everything in this moment. She could feel it, feel the hardness of the ground they sat on, feel the roughness and pitted surface of the boulders scattered around them, feel the trees growing, drawing on the Force to sustain themselves. She even felt it in the air all around them. She was the ground, she was the boulders, she was the trees and the sky. They were her.

“Rey,” Leia almost whispered, “Open your mind further. There is a boulder on the ridge over there, do you feel it?”

“Yes, Master” Rey answered almost absentmindedly.

“Good. Now lift it and bring it here,” she instructed. Rey found that she didn’t even have to concentrate very hard, and soon the boulder was next to them, hovering silently over the ground. She didn’t even need to open her eyes, she knew it was there.

“Very good, now put down the boulder, Rey. Let’s move on to something Luke taught me when I was training with him,” she said. “Focus carefully, there is a bird in the forest not too far away. I want you to connect with it, see the world the way it does. Bring peace to the bird,” Leia said.

“But how…?” Rey began.

“Just try it. See what you can do,” Leia said firmly, inviting no argument. Rey centred herself again, finding the bird. It was large and yellow, with red trimmings on its wings. She sought its Force signature, aligning herself, almost saying to it through the Force, I won’t hurt you. I want to bring you peace. Suddenly, the world seemed much smaller, the ground a million miles beneath her. She could feel the wind underneath her wings, surprised by the simple joy of flight and a single minded peace.

“I did it!” Rey exclaimed with sheer delight.

“Well done. That’s only the beginning. You can connect to any life force if you only focus and centre yourself. You can join their consciousness, bringing peace to anything. If you can master this, Rey, then the mysteries of the Force will be easier to unravel in your journey to becoming a Jedi. Jedi mind tricks work in a similar fashion, although you’ve already had some experience with that before. You must trust the Force, young Rey, as your emotions can lead you to the dark side. Always centre yourself in the Force and you will conquer your emotions. Now, shall we try it again?” Leia asked, smiling. The rest of the day was spent repeating the exercise over and over, until Rey was able to do it without concentrating too hard. Surprisingly, however, her body seemed to have a mind of its own and while her mind felt fresh and energised, her body had taken the toll of manipulating the Force. At last, as the suns began to lower in the sky, Leia advised her student that she would have to train by herself for the next few days as Leia had to travel to Coruscant for the Resistance. This was something she had to do herself.

________________

Rey hardly spoke during dinner, she was too exhausted. She knew that training would be hard work, but it seemed that since Master Luke had left, everything had become harder. She had been struggling to focus and the Force felt distant, not to mention Kylo or Ben, or whoever he was to her _._ She was too tired to care much.

Suddenly she heard Finn say, “Isn’t that true Rey?” This pulled her out of her internal struggles and back to the present, she smiled at him with a sheepish grin, “I suppose so” she replied uncertainly. With this, Poe thumped Finn on the back with a deafening thud and the people around her burst out laughing. _This is so incredibly hard_ , she thought, _how does one behave around people?_ In the commotion she quietly slipped out.

As she made her way through the corridors to her quarters, she felt overwhelmed by all the noises, the people, the droids, announcements, lights, it was all becoming too much. After the quiet of Jakku and the short bursts of contact she had had with people there, this was too much of the opposite, she felt overwhelmed and like her heart was going to explode out of her chest. She began to struggle to breathe, dizziness following. She started to panic, desperately wanting to get to the solace of her quarters. She was nearly running as she turned the last corner, the last few steps felt like an eternity. The door beeped and closed behind her. “Finally,” she said, panting. She leaned against the door, willing her thrashing heart and spinning head to come back to themselves. Finally, as her body came under her command again, she walked over to the window and looked up at the stars and the two moons. She never tired of looking at the stars, they gave her a sense of peace. On Jakku she had always looked up in the hopes that her parents would come for her. How things had changed! It felt like a lifetime ago that she had still been living in her AT-AT walker, not mere weeks ago.

She wondered how her Master was doing, Leia had left for Coruscant days prior on an important mission to garner more support for their cause. Perhaps it was her exhaustion or the fact that Leia’s teaching style was vastly different to Luke’s, but she was feeling incredibly unsure of herself. She walked over to her small desk, opened the nearest drawer and pulled out Luke’s lightsaber. It was still broken, but luckily the Kyber crystal was still mostly in-tact. Leia had told her that this would require extra heat modulation and that she would look for the parts whilst she was on Coruscant. For a moment, she thought of Luke and her heart filled with sadness. _I miss him,_ she thought to herself. She knew the Jedi code, and thought on what Leia had said to her during their last training session, but she did not understand how to separate herself from her emotions. The burden and loss had been constantly weighing on her of late. _This is not helping_ , she thought as she wiped away a single tear from her cheek, trying to understand the mess of her emotions. “A shower, yes, that’s what I need” she said to herself reassuringly. She had picked up the habit of talking to herself out loud during the many solitary nights on Jakku, it calmed her and made her feel less alone.

She quickly stripped down, hung up her robes and entered the refresher. No matter how many times she felt the warm water on her skin it was as amazing as if it were the first time. This made her smile and she wondered if she would ever get used to taking a shower and if it would become _normal_ to her. She stood in the hot shower for a long time, longer than she was supposed to, lost in the joy of the water drumming against her skin. She let her mind wonder, carefree. She imagined a future for herself with a family. She knew this was not the Jedi way, but the thought of being alone for the rest of her life terrified her. So, for now, it made her feel safe to imagine a normal life, a life after the war. It was when she got lost in these fantasies that she missed her parents “No,” she said audibly as the water cascaded down her back, “They left me and I would never leave my children, no matter what! I would protect and never leave them!” She said with unnecessary vehemence. She finished her shower and got ready for bed.

She was sitting on her bed reading a Jedi text when she felt it, she felt a disturbance in the Force. It … it was _him._ Immediately she expected Kylo Ren to be standing in front of her, his towering figure disturbing her, confusing her, maybe even hurting her, but nothing came. She closed her eyes and focused, he was shrouded in the dark side and this disturbed her. She remembered her vision of saving Ben and clung even tighter to the memory. Instinctively, almost pleading, she said, “Oh Force, please let him be okay…” This shocked her, why should she care? He had made his decision, he was her enemy. She settled her mind, pushing all thoughts of Ben and the dark side away, and decided it was time to sleep. She had a long couple of days ahead of her without Leia.

_______________

Sleep came quickly and easily. The foreign sensation of pure happiness was the first thing that she felt as she awoke. The sun was streaming into her room and she felt it gently caress her face. She couldn’t quite remember where she was, was this really her bedroom? It seemed too nice, and there was more furniture than she was used to. Then she heard a voice calling out to her “Sweetheart, would you like some caf?” This shocked her. She jumped up, scanning the room for her jedi robes. Suddenly she realised she was naked. _Oh Force! WHY AM I NAKED??_ She thought to herself, _where are my clothes?_ She found a gown and hastily put it on, covering her nudity. “Okay, deep breath Rey,” she said to herself aloud and reached into the Force. She realised this was a dream. _A dream_ , she thought, _but this feels so real_. Cautiously, she exited the room into what she instinctively knew was the rest of the house, but it didn’t matter because in the kitchen stood a tall man with jet black hair with his back to her, he looked suspiciously like Kylo Ren, but ... oh kriff! He was only partially dressed! She could not help but admire his physique, the muscles rippled between his shoulder blades as he finished his task and it was like something primal welled up in her. He turned and she let out a yelp. It _was_ Kylo Ren, no … it was Ben, definitely Ben. He smiled at her, eyes filled with love and tenderness. Before she could think, he walked up to her, pulled her close and gently kissed her forehead, “You look so radiant in the morning light, my darling” he crooned gently in her ear as he rubbed a small circle against the small of her back. It sent shivers down her spine and sparked a very foreign emotion, she could not name it, but it felt warm and solid. Before she could register or protest, she sat up in her bed, her real bed. _It was just a silly dream_ , she thought. But still, it disturbed her. _It felt so … so real._ The strong emotions she had felt at the end of the dream stayed with her, she could still feel the warmth unfurling in her chest and it felt good and, somehow, right. This was dreadful! She couldn’t feel… well whatever it was that she had felt, it was not something she should feel towards her enemy! She got up with purpose, got dressed and headed for the mess hall. There was a lot to do, there was no point in her dwelling on a silly dream. She joined her friends in the mess hall and found that it was one of her good days, days when talking, engaging and relating to others came a bit easier. This confused her, she did not understand what had changed since yesterday. This new part of her personality remained a mystery to her. _Maybe_ , she wondered, _maybe it will just take some time_.

She bid her friends farewell, ready for the day’s training. Leia had given her strict instructions that while she was away, Rey had to focus on saber stances - but there was so much to learn, there were seven forms, all with different purposes. Without Leia there to guide her, Rey felt lost and soon gave in to frustration. Even the droid was no help as its programming was limited.

“No, I will master this!” she scolded herself aloud. _I just need a quieter place_. She ventured further into the forest and kept walking until she could no longer hear other people. She found an opening next to the bank of a river with a small waterfall that created a rainbow as the rays of sunlight pierced the dense forest and refracted off its spray. She sat down to meditate. Rey had given up on the saber training for the moment, but it did not mean she would not train. She cleared her mind and reached into the Force. She stretched her hand out towards the waterfall, in her mind she recited _all things are connected through the Force_. She focused and felt every drop of the water, felt its weight, balance and intent. She connected with it, feeling the falling water split in two, but she could feel that she would not be able to hold it for long. As quickly as the connection to the Force came, it left. Frustrated, she shouted, “Why is this so hard?!” She took a deep breath, then muttered to herself, “That won’t help.”

“You’re right, it won’t help,” she heard a voice behind her. Startled, she swung round, staff at the ready. She dropped the staff in shock. “M...Master Luke, is that really you?” she stammered, not really believing her eyes.

“Yes Rey, it’s really me” he said, his eyes smiling at her.

“But I thought you died!” she blurted out. Luke smiled gently,

“No Rey, I didn’t die, I became one with the Force,” he reminded her not unkindly, “there is no death, only the force.”

Rey sat back down, her mind was racing. She thought she would never see him again and she had so many questions, she pinched herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming, “Nope, he’s still there,” she said to herself, “this must be real then.”

Luke laughed openly now, “Of course this is real Rey. I have come to guide you as my masters guided me when I needed them. My sister did not complete her training, so she will not be able to train you in all things necessary” He sat down next to her. She felt oddly comforted, oddly at peace.

“Rey,” Luke started, “I need to share some important information with you regarding your connection with Kylo Ren. The sooner you know, the better. It will help prepare you for the journey ahead,” he said almost sympathetically, “You are what we call a dyad in the force.”

Confusion swept over Rey as Luke continued his explanation.

“You and my nephew are linked through the force. This allows you to connect across the galaxy, something the two of you are growing more adept at doing,” he nodded knowingly, “and as the bond grows stronger, you will know what the other one is thinking as if, well…” Luke stopped and thought how to explain it, “two has become one” he finished.

“Why?! How?!” Rey exclaimed, unable to help herself.

“When you were born, the Force decided that you two would each be half of a whole. Don’t ask me why or how, the Force doesn’t always make sense, even to me – which is quite ironic, me being one with it and all,” he quipped, grinning. “What it does mean, however, is that your destinies are intertwined. You balance each other out. Don’t think that this means your future is decided, it is still very much what both of you make of it. But know, no matter what you do, the Force will always bring you back together, willingly or not.” Luke then become solemn, his wrinkled face apologetic and his eyes filled with remorse, “Rey… I’m sorry that I did not train you the way I should have, I now realise that my fear blinded me and I failed you, I’m so sorry!” With this last apology, Luke faded away and Rey was alone again in the forest. Her thoughts were a terrified mess of confusion, hurt and even, strangely, a small sliver of hope. Why was her destiny never to be her own to decide? Why had the Force taken away the most basic free will from her? Then she thought, if she and Kylo were whole together, maybe they could be just that… whole _together_. Rey didn’t like the direction her thoughts were taking, it reminded her of what she had felt in her dream. She decided it was time to drown out her inner fears and insecurities. Grabbing her staff, Rey launched herself up from her sitting spot and began her trek back to the others. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren descends into Exegol and meets Darth Sideous, otherwise known as Emperor Palpatine, who has managed to survive death and become more powerful than ever. Kylo not only learns how this Sith Lord has evaded death, but that he is Rey's grandfather. There is something else that Kylo could not have imagined, he learns that he and Rey are a dyad in the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely messages we've received so far! You guys are amazing!!!  
> We are so excited to get to the juicy bits!
> 
> So we did our own research on how Palpatine could have survived his death in Episode 6, which is not detailed in the TROS movie. This explanation is a supposition based on canon. I must add, while I quickly edited it for grammar, spelling, vocabulary and register to fit the other chapters, my husband mostly wrote this chapter on his own and I'm so proud!! I'm turning him into a writer :-D
> 
> Please let us know what you think ;)

* * *

Kylo’s descent into the heart of Exegol felt like an age. The air was cold and stale and he heard Vader’s voice in his head, egging him on to go deeper. “Yes, Master,” he replied to himself and adjusted his grip on his lightsaber. The only source of light was the red glow of his lightsaber to guide his way through the earie caverns.

The deeper he went, the more his thoughts were shrouded in the dark side. It was like a compass leading him, his body knew instinctively where to go. His consciousness was focused only on the pursuit of power and the lust for bloodshed, but something in him seemed to tremble too. To calm his nerves, he recited the Sith Code in his mind, _Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me._ The dark side hung like a weight in the air yet was all at once electric in its presence as he approached what could only be a throne room or an altar. What he saw next shocked him. There, in two Bacta tanks, was the dismembered Snoke. _Why is Snoke here?_ he thought, _I killed him, I definitely killed him!_ A voice rang out in laughter, maniacal and crackling with energy. Instinctively, Kylo swung round, taking a defensive stance, his lightsaber quietly hissing in the darkness. But it was no use. As soon as he had turned the saber, it was removed from him by the disembodied voice.

“Oh my dear boy,” the voice chuckled darkly, “I don’t want to hurt you. I want to teach you,” it purred from the shadows.

Confused and frustrated, Kylo responded, “ _Teach_ me? I am a Sith Lord!”

Laughter rang out again, “No, my dear boy, you are but an apprentice with a shallow understanding of the dark side. You can and will be so much more if you swear allegiance to me!”

Kylo’s anger rose up like lava, he hissed, “Show yourself!” he did not care that he didn’t have his saber, he would kill this _thing_ with his bare hands. He had worked so hard, sacrificed so much, he wasn’t going to be treated like a naïve child. _Vader sent me here_ , he thought, _this must be my final test to obtain the power I seek to bring order to the galaxy_. No sooner had he thought this, he found that he couldn’t move, he was trapped, the force binding him tightly. This enraged Kylo and he let out a visceral growl, “LET GO OF ME YOU COWARD!” he screamed.

“YES! YES! Give in to your anger! Let it consume you!” The voice was excited and electrified. “You can be so much more, youngling. If you only learn to harness your anger, you will be the ruler of all the galaxy!” The voice was now positively maniacal in delight.

“Show yourself!” Kylo roared in a menacing tone that would freeze any soldier in their tracks, but what he did not know was that he was about to come face to face with the most menacing Sith Lord in galactic history, Darth Sidious. A Sith Lord who had been weaving a master plan together since before the Clone Wars, hellbent on eradicating the Jedi. A figure emerged from the shadows. Disfigured and attached to a machine, nonetheless it was unmistakable that it was this figure that was drenched in the power of the dark side.

“I am Emperor Palpatine!” the voice exclaimed, suddenly the room filled with chanting, and Kylo could feel the dark side weaving and swirling all around him. The sheer power was almost more than he could stand. He felt alive, like every cell in his body echoed the chant and he hungered for this power. Then, Kylo slipped quietly away, enveloped by darkness.

When Kylo awoke, he found himself in a room on Coruscant, but it was strange, it was as if he was an outsider looking in, as if… he didn’t belong there. Suddenly, he heard the Emperor’s voice.

“My boy, for you to understand why you are here and what role you have to play, I need to show you, teach you about what really happened, not those silly stories you were taught so long ago when you still called Coruscant home,” the Emperor began, “At the height of my power, before the start of the Clone Wars, I was the apprentice to the Sith Lord, Darth Plageuis.” The strange dream started playing out and Kylo saw the Sith Lord and his apprentice. They were studying the secrets of reanimation and the transfer of one’s consciousness through the force, the master was teaching the student. “Darth Plageuis, my Master, discovered the secret to immortality. Once he had taught me, I murdered him as I had no use for him anymore, I was already grooming another to be my apprentice…” the Emperor said slowly, relishing reliving his Master’s murder.

Now whisked away, Kylo was on Mustafar and he saw Lord Vader. His grandfather’s voice drifted clearly across to him, “You see, boy, I made Lord Vader” the voice changed to that of the Emperor’s, “I can teach you too, you will be far stronger than your grandfather.”

“I have been with you, Kylo, since you started your training with _that Jedi,_ ” The voice was that of Snoke, ”You see, my boy,” the voice changed back to the Emperor’s “I had taken a keen interest in you since you were little and orchestrated events to lead to this point. I have been every voice in your head, guiding you, leading you, nurturing you to be my ultimate creation!”

Kylo was whisked away again. He saw the Emperor preparing for something, and a man and woman in a room. They were tied down and he didn’t see it but he knew that they were being tortured. The Emperor asked in a low, menacing voice, “Where is the girl?” Kylo instinctively knew, as though through the Force, that the Emperor was searching for Rey. He then knew that these were her parents.

“You will never find her!” The man responded with fierce determination. The woman glared at the Emperor.

“Such a pity, my son, but you have your uses yet,” the Emperor turned around and motioned to an Acolyte to come closer, “Kill the woman and prepare the boy for Force transfer. Make sure she suffers before you end her, and let him watch!” he said, slowly relishing the terror it would instil. “I am sorry, my boy, but at least we will be together forever” the emperor laughed evilly. His voice seemed to draw close to one of Kylo’s ears, “You see, I knew that the light side had affected Vader and I had to be prepared. So, before facing Luke Skywalker, I had a body prepared for transition, just in case. That, my youngling, is the power of the dark side, to anticipate and manipulate. You are strong but not shrewd, I can teach you to rid yourself of doubt and angst and become the embodiment of the dark side!” the emperor coaxed.

With this, Kylo found himself in another dream, but it was different … it wasn’t a dream, it was a vision. He saw Rey, she was with him, but … different. He could feel the dark side coursing through her, he could feel her passion for him and he saw them ruling the galaxy together for millennia to come. He saw the order he sought and Kylo thought to himself, _this is my path. This is where it leads me, I knew my sacrifices weren’t in vain!_

Kylo awoke on the cold stone floor, he could feel Palpatine’s presence nearby. He rose, turned and asked, “Emperor Palpatine, is this my future?”

“Yes” the Emperor replied simply.

Kylo’s mind raced, he murmured, “Order in the galaxy and Rey by my side.” He seemed to accept something deep within himself. At last he lowered his head and sank to one knee. Speaking with confidence, he vowed, “I swear my allegiance to you, my Master.”

“Good. Good!” the Emperor responded, his voice dripping with delight. “Now rise, Lord Ren!” the emperor bellowed. The Sith Eternal chanted “Long Live the Emperor!” Kylo rose, full of purpose, clinging to the clear vision he had seen. The Force meant for him and Rey to be together and rule the galaxy. He had never felt more certain of anything.

“Ren, my apprentice,” the Emperor beckoned in a soft yet resolute tone, “I need you to bring Rey, my granddaughter, to me. I can help you turn her, help her see that your connection is destined through the Force. In fact, your connection is a unifying one, a dyad in the Force. You are meant to rule the galaxy together.” Kylo reeled at the information.

“Do you mean…?” Kylo began.

“Yes, Ren, you two are one in the force and together you are unstoppable. You share a bond that transcends this realm. Bring her to me and what you have seen will come to pass.”

Kylo force pulled his saber to him and attached it to his belt. “Master, may I take my leave of you?”

“Yes,” the Emperor replied, “Just one last thing, Lord Ren, send your knights to Exegol so that we can prepare for your return.”

“Yes, Master” Kylo turned and left.

__________________

Once in signal range of the finalizer, Kylo contacted General Hux. “Hux?”

“Yes Supreme leader?” his voice came over the com, “Send the Knights of Ren to Exogol immediately! Have them contact me from the Night Buzzard.”

Hux’s annoying voice came through “Sir? Surely…?” Kylo cut him off,

“Hux! Just do it or the next time I see you I will cut you in half!” he spat out.

Hux all but squealed, “Y…Yes sir! Immediately, Sir!”

Kylo was almost at the hyperspace exit point. _I can’t believe it,_ he thought, _all I have sacrificed was worth it. Rey… she will be mine, and I will be hers._ He said the last part to himself again, as if making a promise.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Rey discover that Finn might be Force sensitive. Rey is overjoyed at the thought of not being the only Jedi left, Finn is decidedly not as enthusiastic. Rey and Kylo's relationship begins to change, they both have plans to use their new standing to win the other to their side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day, dayum! Okay I must get some work done (repeating this to myself until it sinks in lol).   
> Tomorrow will probably only be one chapter seeing as this one is a bit longer anyway.
> 
> We both like the idea of Finn being about to tell Rey he's Force sensitive in the scene before they sink through the black sand to the cavern below in TROS (right before Rey Force heals the snake). We really don't need a love triangle, it just adds too much to an already complicated plot. My husband wanted to kill Finn off, but I think the same logic applies to him as with Kylo/Ben, he's been brainwashed for so long and now he's free, he damn well deserves to live and enjoy that freedom, he's earned it!
> 
> As always, please let us know what you think ;)

* * *

Finn rose and stretched lazily. It was another fine day, the suns were positively beaming warmth down on them; it didn’t match what was going through his mind though. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on with Rey, something she wasn’t telling him. He had felt a strange presence on a number of occasions. It was hard to describe, but almost like a shadow against a wall, there but somehow not there. It did not fit in with the energy of the other rebels. He wanted to pull on the thread, unravel what it meant but it was still hazy to him, like a fog around his mind that wouldn’t quite lift. He had all but asked Rey straight out what was going on, and his hints had gone nowhere. It was time to find out. He sought Rey and found her in her usual clearing, training with a droid. Well, she looked ready to smash it to pieces.

“I don’t think he’s replaceable,” Finn called out, smiling in spite of himself.

“Finn! What are you doing here?” She replied, laying her staff down to take a swig of water from a cannister that had seen better days. “Can we talk at lunch? I’m trying to train but it’s impossible without Leia here.”

“No, Rey. I think we need to talk… now,” Finn replied, the seriousness in his expression had an immediate effect, but he could not know that Rey was panicking about her conversations with Kylo Ren, or her dreams about him.

“Um…sure. Let’s sit in the shade over here.” She indicated to a large boulder in the shade of an ancient tree. Taking a seat next to her, there was nothing left but for him to dive straight in.

“I know you’ve been talking to someone,” he blurted out. Rey paled and every freckle on her face was dark in relief against the pallor. “Don’t bother denying it. I… I don’t know how you do it, but I’ve felt a presence several times since Crait,” he raised a closed fist to his heart in emphasis, “I can’t quite see it, but I can _feel_ whoever it is, and boy do they have a bad energy! Who is it?” Rey looked at him for a long moment, then down at the ground. She swallowed twice.

“Finn,” she raised her eyes to his, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think you might be Force sensitive!” They were both in shock.

“You mean… like making things float about and move around whenever I want?” he asked incredulously.

“Well, amongst a lot of other really important things. Finn… I can’t believe this!! I won’t be the only Jedi left!!” Rey was practically alight with excitement, all trace of pallor gone from her face.

“Woah, woah, woah! Just hold on a minute! I might not be, and even if I were… I’ve just joined the Resistance as a normal…” he stopped himself, realising what he was implying. Rey shrugged and gave a small, hurt smile.

“It’s okay, I know what the others think of me. They can’t help it,” she shrugged again, “and if you really are Force sensitive then it’s something you can’t just ignore. It’s a calling to something greater than yourself.” Rey stood, and beamed down at Finn, “I can’t wait to tell Leia! She’ll be so excited to have another pupil!”

“We’ll… see,” Finn managed to say. But she had not acknowledged who she had been communicating with and he was done waiting for her to tell. “So who is he?” he asked again. A shadow of pain crossed Rey’s face and she turned away from him. He thought she was going to leave when she finally answered, hardly loud enough to hear,

“Kylo Ren.”

“Holy Kriff! Rey! What the kriff?! Did I hear you right? Have you been communicating with Kylo kriffing Ren?!” Finn exploded.

“Shhhh!” Rey answered, “Do you want me to get in trouble?! I don’t want anybody else to know! It’s enough that I’m telling you – and I’m really trusting you here, Finn. Please, don’t tell anybody! Let me just explain,” Rey pleaded. Finn ran a hand roughly over his face and nodded once, his anger barely suppressed. “It’s not like I want to connect with him, in fact, if it helps at all, I don’t think he particularly wants it either. The Force connects us randomly, and sometimes it’s at the worst possible moment… I don’t know why. Neither does he. But I once had a vision of him turning to the light, I saw it as clear as day,” she turned to face Finn.

“So you talk to him in the hopes of chatting him over to the light? Is that it?” Finn answered sarcastically.

“ _No_. Of course not!” Rey answered hotly, “Try to understand, Finn! You know what it’s like to have someone mess with your mind, made to become un-you, to be controlled and brainwashed into doing things you would never in your right mind condone, never mind enact. You know what it is to be a slave to someone else’s sick and twisted desires!” Rey argued.

“Of course I do!” Finn shouted back, “And need I remind you that it was to _Kylo Ren’s_ sick and twisted desires!” he spat out, furious. Rey looked down, crestfallen.

“He was being controlled by Snoke! It was Snoke’s sick and twisted desires! Kylo just wants to bring order, even if it’s in the most backward, idiotic way,” she sighed sadly, closing her eyes momentarily, “At first our conversations were cold, hostile even. Then, the more we spoke, the more I saw that Ben Solo is still inside him, somewhere… There is still light in him, however hard he ignores it and tries to stamp it out. He killed Han to try and squash it… but even now, there is still good in him. I can _feel_ it,” Rey felt like a fool. She hadn’t meant to start crying, but nothing was ever simple when it came to Kylo Ren, not even talking about him. “I know he’s a monster,” her voice quivered, “I haven’t forgotten. But I can’t give up on Ben. I think he wants me to save him, and I think I can do it!” She urged.

“Suppose you’re right… Suppose he comes over to the light, what then? He’ll be put on trial for war crimes. You know it as well as I do. He would most probably be sentenced to a life sentence on some Outer Rim garbage planet or worse, he’d be put to death.” Rey couldn’t breathe, her body felt cold and heavy at Finn’s words. It had never occurred to her what might happen _after_ she had saved Ben. She couldn’t consider what might happen to him, not in front of Finn, if she could think about it at all. Swallowing her fears for Ben, she said,

“I don’t know. But this war needs to end. We can’t keep going on like this and Leia… Leia would protect him, somehow. I don’t know how, but she wouldn’t let Ben die. Please, think over what I’ve said, Finn. He’s not all bad and he could help us end this war sooner rather than later,” she implored him.

“Alright. But you need to be careful, Rey. He might think _he’s_ bringing _you_ over to the dark side. He’s arrogant enough to think that. I won’t tell anybody… for now, but I don’t want you to get hurt!” Finn exclaimed. It was clear that where Rey was concerned, he couldn’t help but worry.

“I’ll be careful, I promise,” she said, briefly hugging Finn.

____________________________

After Finn had returned to Base, Rey wandered off, back to the waterfall she had discovered a few days prior. Her thoughts were in turmoil. What if bringing Kylo back to the light was a death sentence? Could she stomach sending him to his death, even if it saved millions of lives? Surely doing something for the good of many was worth one life… the life of her other half. Her head hurt. She pictured him being put to death and shuddered, the tears falling against her will. She hadn’t felt a connection between them in days, and the last time she had felt him he had been shrouded in darkness. The fears in her mind took on a dark voice, taunting her that he would die. Whether the dark side killed him or coming to the light did, the outcome of both would be his death. She knelt in the grass, hung her head and began to sob, letting the anguish take over. She was too consumed to feel the shift in the Force when a large, soft hand reached down and wiped away a tear from one of her cheeks. She did not look at him, although he knelt in front of her. She did nothing, she simply let him trace another tear across her face.

“Rey…?” His low, reassuring voice tinged with concern was all it took. She leaned forward and put her cheek to his chest, her hands framing her head on either side. She stifled a sob and tried to reign her emotions in. Then he did something she did not see coming, he placed a hand on the small of her back, then joined it with his other hand and pulled her more fully to him. They stayed that way for several minutes, saying nothing. Then Kylo began to rub a small circle on her back and Rey was reminded of the dreams she’d been having about him the last few days… and the warm solid feeling that always came with them. At this she pulled away from him, coming back to herself.

“I… I’m alright,” she gulped and used her arm bandages to wipe the remaining wetness from her face.

“Why were you crying?” Kylo asked.

“You could just read my mind, isn’t that what you prefer to do?” Rey snapped, trying to bring out the side of her that hated him, trying to remind herself that he was her enemy.

“When you asked if I was to be your own personal Snoke…” He looked away, clearly uncomfortable, “I don’t want to do that to you. I… I thought it would be better to ask,” he explained uncertainly.

“Oh” Rey marvelled at this confusing tangle of a man. He was still a monster, but then he took her words into consideration and changed… for her. Something inside her swelled. She tried changing the topic, “Finn knows about our connection.” She said it softly, holding her breath to see if he would lose his temper, if he would give her a reason to hate him again.

“You told him about _us_ …?” The disdain and hatred had returned to his voice, but she could not mistake the way he said “us”.

“I think he’s Force sensitive, he sensed your presence a few times,” Rey couldn’t believe she had just told Kylo that another Jedi would possibly be joining the fray.

“I… see. No doubt, my mother is overwhelmed with joy, one more Jedi to join her idiotic, misguided cause. One more Jedi to mow down her son,” he said with rancour.

“That’s not why she’s doing this! If only you could see things the right way!” Rey retorted in frustration.

“What makes your way the right way, Rey?” Kylo said, and cupped her cheek, running his thumb across her jaw. It was like he had cast a spell on her. Rey found that the repeated short strokes of his thumb were mesmerising, she should move away, say something, make him hate her, but she couldn’t – not just yet. She closed her eyes against the sensation, aware of Kylo’s satisfaction at her reaction to him. When she opened her eyes again he was gone.

______________

After this, he came to her several times, never for quite as long as this, but something had changed between them. She didn’t know how or what had caused this to happen but his appearance no longer sparked anger in her. Sometimes she felt joy when he appeared, or, on the few occasions when the Force had connected them in her bed and he had tucked an arm around her, safety. Each time she had pretended to be asleep, and ignored the urge to say something. Once, just once, she had even had the courage to snuggle back against him, and intertwine her fingers with his. She had felt his quick intake of breath at that. Good. She wasn’t the only one affected then.

Rey felt guilty in the light of day, consumed by the nagging fear that she was somehow a traitor, but nobody had ever made her feel this way. He made her feel safe, cared for and like she belonged, a feeling she was not used to as she was aware that even her friends were wary of her powers. Even Finn, who now dodged her when he saw her coming, was wary of her. It seemed he couldn’t accept his sensitivity, not yet anyway. She also didn’t think again about what might happen if, and after she saved Ben, she knew it would drive her mad. One evening, the Force connected them in her bed as she lay down. There was no way she could pretend to be asleep, she groaned inwardly.

“I wish you’d ask them for a new mattress, my back is starting to hurt. A few nights of this and a rock has begun to look like a better option,” Kylo grumbled. It seemed he preferred to be painfully honest about their night-time connection. Rey blushed and sat up. Well, if he was going to blunder straight into that one then there was no pretending.

“I suppose you watch my dreams like they’re a holo,” she replied.

“I haven’t yet, maybe I should,” he muttered as he saw her blush deepen and run down her neck to her chest. He curled a strand of her hair around his finger, “You know,” he said softly, “If you had said yes, you would be here in my bed right now. I could hold you the entire night.” Rey stood up at this, fidgeting with her tunic. He was satisfied at the reaction he had drawn from her, it spoke volumes.

“Yes, well, I didn’t say yes did I? I don’t want to rule the galaxy. I don’t want the dark side to win. We’ll never agree on that, despite whatever… _this_ … is,” she said gesturing between them.

“Rey, I need to tell you about our connection, tell you why it’s happening,” Kylo began.

“I already know. Luke appeared to me,” she sighed at the flicker of anger in Kylo’s eyes. “I know we’re a dyad,” she finished quickly.

Pain crossed Kylo’s face, “So you know and yet you won’t come to me,” disappointment laced his voice, “We’re two halves of a whole, we’re meant to be together. Don’t you see? We’re _better_ together. Rey… Rey,” he stood up and came to stand in front of her. “Sweetheart, I know you feel it too. You and me? We’re fated. It’s more than that. We belong to each other.” At this he reached out and cupped her cheek. He moved in closer and she did nothing to stop him, he tipped her face up to look at him. Satisfied that she was affected by his gesture, he said gently, voice dangerously low, 

“Rey, if you don’t stop me I’m going to kiss you.” She didn’t move. He lowered his full lips to hers and pulled her closer to him as their lips met. He moved his hand to the back of her head, angling her so he could deepen the kiss. Rey’s arms were around his neck and she kissed him back with deep longing. The kiss became more passionate, more frantic, both their want laid bare.

“Sweetheart…” he said, breaking the kiss to lean his forehead against hers, “Meet me, anywhere, it doesn’t matter. I’ll come without my saber if you like, please, we can be together. I want to hold you and know that you won’t just disappear any minute.”

“I… can’t. How would I do it without the others suspecting something? How would I explain it, Ben?” she asked sadly. Kylo ignored her use of his former name.

“Tell them there might be news from an informant. Tell them the Resistance has a possible new benefactor… They would believe it. I know you could convince them,” he tried to convince her.

“I’ll speak to Leia,” she agreed, “but it might not work. This is all we might ever get.” She turned her back to Kylo, desperate to hide how much she needed him. It didn’t work, he seemed to sense her feelings. He wrapped an arm around her waist from behind and pulled her close to his chest,

“You’ll find a way to make it happen. You’re the most stubborn, determined person I’ve ever met,” he said and it sounded like he was smiling. He kissed her temple and then the air vibrated as he disappeared, the only evidence of his presence was his lingering smell, which always reminded Rey of something earthy, musky with a hint of something bitter that she could not name. She touched her waist where his hand had been. If she could spend even one full day with him, perhaps she could sway him with her love. She returned to her small, empty bed.

_______________________

The holo image of Palpatine wavered with static as Kylo hailed him, “Soon, Master. The girl is convinced that she is in love with me. I will draw her off-planet and get her away safely so that I can bring her to you,” Kylo reported.

“Good, my apprentice. You have done well,” Emperor Palpatine replied with an evil grin. Kylo then closed the holo communication and sat down on the edge of his bed. He had not told the Emperor that he was in love with Rey too. It had no bearing on what needed to be done. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren and Rey's bond grows stronger. Leia knows about Finn's abilities, but she knows about other things too. Rey is sent on a mission for the First Order and connects with Kylo while there - talking to him might be the biggest mistake of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finished my work project but now hubby is busy with work so I flew Solo on this chapter lol  
> I'm so sorry - low hanging fruit, I know. I'm really pathetic, I'm so aware of it lol
> 
> So I kind of had the idea that Mama Leia knows a lot of things that people don't realise (I kept singing Mother Gothel's song in Tangled, 'Mother knows best' in my head haha)
> 
> Also, I just had to include a reference to our latest intern of the First Order, Randy. If you haven't seen the SNL skit yet, here's a link - you're welcome  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Brbrdnh74yA

* * *

“You have no place in this story. You’re nothing. Nothing,” he repeated almost viciously, “But not to me,” the agony in his voice peaking, “Join me” he begged, and then softer, “please”. His eyes implored her as the tears streamed freely down Rey’s face. His outstretched hand began to shake. What would it feel like to really mean something to someone? She couldn’t remember what it felt like to really be understood by someone else. She reached out, her tremor mirroring Kylo’s. She slid her hand into the cool leather of his gloved hand. This felt wrong, she couldn’t remember why, it was if the pieces didn’t quite fit together, as if they had been forced together. What was wrong with this picture? He brought her hand to his mouth and reverently kissed each knuckle, a promise in itself. She saw her longing mirrored, intensified in the sweet, loving monster before her. Suddenly she was an outsider looking in. She stood on the side lines, watching twin Rey melt into Kylo Ren’s arms as he kissed her hair and closed his eyes, his chin resting on Rey’s head, the pure relief and adoration in his expression pronounced.

She knew then, this was a dream. Was it a nightmare? It didn’t feel like one - but this wasn’t right. She hadn’t said yes that day. She had struggled with him, splitting Luke’s saber in half, agonising over leaving Ben behind.

“When I dream about this it’s always a nightmare,” Kylo said softly next to her. Rey was surprised, they’d never shared a dream before.

“The bond between us is growing stronger,” he pursed his lips. “So… you dream about going back and saying yes. I always dream this moment and your rejection of me is played over and over in a loop,” his voice was almost as emotionless as his eyes. “Look at them. The fools,” but there was no malice in his voice.

“I wish… I wish…” Rey couldn’t say it. She began to cry, just as her twin self had only moments earlier.

“That we were other people? But we’re not, Rey. Even if I had gone back with you that day, what do you think would have happened to me? If not immediate death, then at the least I’d be rotting in a cell now, waiting for a trial that would never come as they waited for me to die a slow and tortured death.” Rey wanted to deny it, but she wasn’t sure that he was wrong.

“Ah, yes. That’s the problem. You know I’m right,” at her look of suspicion, he swiftly said, “I swear! I’m not reading your mind. It must be the shared dream space. Nothing is hidden here. Look into my mind… You won’t even have to try hard,” he said. Rey looked at him and saw through the bond that he was thinking about what would happen if he copied his twin, pulling her into his arms. She trembled.

Drawing in a deep, shaky breath that spoke louder than any sob could, she whispered, “This can never be, Ben. This is the past, we can’t go back and change it. It is now and not then.” And, closing her eyes, Rey willed herself to wake up. She half expected to find him in her bed, waking with her, but the Force had been kind. No, the Force had been cruel. Her bed felt cold and empty. She curled up into a ball and cried into her pillow. She cried herself to sleep, this time a dreamless one.

______________

Leia returned the next day. Most of her time was spent catching up on missed reports and sitting through debriefings, logistics, enemy tactics and statistics. She knew Rey needed to speak to her, but there was only so much she could defer to others like Connix and Dameron. At last, when there seemed to be nothing new, she excused herself and went to find Rey. Rey was examining a part that was destined for the Millenium Falcon. “Rey,” she called in greeting.

“Leia! It’s so good to see you!” Rey exclaimed, tightly hugging the older woman. It didn’t need to be said how much Rey had missed her Master.

“Shall we take a walk? I could use some fresh, clean air after Coruscant, and all my meetings since,” Leia said sincerely. They wondered past their training spot, a little off course to another clearing that they had not yet discovered.

“How was Coruscant?” Rey asked politely.

“The same. Some things never change,” Leia said with a tired smile. “But that is not worth discussing now. I’ve brought you the parts to repair your lightsaber, as well as an old electroblade. It requires some work, but it will be very useful during training,” Leia promised.

“Leia. There’s something I should tell you,” Rey began uncertainly.

“If it’s about Finn, then you can relax. I already know about him.” It looked as if Rey had been about to say something. Then she nodded and appeared to relax. “I sensed his abilities several weeks ago. But it is not for you or me to tell him what path to take… As you undoubtedly know by now, the Jedi path is not an easy one. It must be his choice, Rey,” She looked sternly, but not unkindly at Rey.

“I know. But it would be nice, for once, to know I’m not the last Jedi,” Rey said simply. Then she remembered Kylo’s words, _“one more Jedi to mow her son down.”_ She averted her eyes.

“Other things have happened since I left, haven’t they,” Leia said softly. “If only there were time to get to the bottom of everything. Unfortunately, time isn’t something we have very much of right now. I must return to Coruscant, they are trying to establish a new Republic Senate and they need my council, and you, my young Jedi, are to be sent on a mission of your own. I need someone with Force powers on this one, someone who can sense danger before it has arrived. We’ll have to keep our talk for later, when we’re both back.” Leia smiled, sighing. She was so tired. Tired of an endless war, against one empire or another. Tired of politics, the world she was born into. Tired of people waiting for answers from her. Sometimes her bones ached and she longed to go somewhere where none of it would exist. Maybe Naboo, she had always loved the beauty of Naboo, her mother’s home.

“Of course, Leia. I’ll wait for my instructions. I assume I’m leaving in the morning?” Rey asked. Leia nodded.

“I’ll have Lieutenant Connix give you the details after dinner tonight,” as Rey turned to go, Leia called out, “Rey! May the Force be with you.”

Rey nodded, “and with you,” She replied. After she had walked away, Leia thought half to herself and half to her son, who she knew could not hear her, _Ben, don’t hurt Rey. She’s been through so much._

_______________________

Rey landed the Falcon on Ahto, the only solid structure on Manaan. For years, the Selkath had supplied both the Empire and the Republic with Kolto, a substance similar to bacta, not as effective, and they had slowly stopped producing it after bacta was discovered.Rey had been asked to negotiate with the Selkath, it appeared that they had become more open to the idea of backing the Resistance as they were weary of the First Order due to their dealings with the Empire. The first day, Rey had seen their ocean planet and had marvelled that a whole system could live, operate and organise itself completely under water. How many other planets with mysteries like this were out there? What else had she missed while waiting on a desert planet for her parents? They were a polite yet cold people. It seemed that distrust was an inborn quality, likely due to their long history of slavery to other peoples, but also to the Empire. She had tried to read up about it on the way over, it was a lot to take in, and she’d had to learn about the other planet she was set to visit over the course of the next few days.

They had prepared a small yet airy room for her to stay overnight, although the food they brought her was strange to her. But she had always eaten for survival, not for the luxury of the thing, so she didn’t mind that much. She had retired for the night after a long day of talks with their council; she couldn’t tell yet if they had made up their minds to help after all. She felt the Force quiver around her and her room fell away. She could see Kylo’s dark, cold quarters, his perfunctory bed, and a table, his lightsaber lightly placed in the middle of it beside a data pad that he was studying with intense concentration. He turned when he felt her looking over his shoulder.

“It’s far too cold where you are,” he complained. At first she thought he was complaining because of the stark difference to the temperature in his room. Then she remembered that she had appeared to him, not the other way around. Her eyes grew large. Did he know where she was?

“No,” he replied to her thoughts, “but I can feel you shivering.” He stood and walked briskly to his bed, all but ripping the cover off, wrapping it around Rey’s shoulders.

 _Hey! You’re reading my thoughts! You promised you wouldn’t._ She replied crossly, although she was thankful for the warmth of his bed covers.

 _I’m not doing it on purpose. You’re so open to me right now, it would be much harder_ **not** _to read your thoughts. You could close your mind off to me…_ he half suggested, waiting to see what she would do.

“What are you reading, Kylo?” Rey asked aloud.

“I’m trying to understand more about dyads, I haven’t found anything useful though,” he seemed sincerely frustrated. She wondered if he had slept at all, forgetting the bond was still open. He didn’t acknowledge that he had heard her. Instead, he thought about the things he could do to warm her up. Rey blushed and turned away, embarrassed by what she had seen in his overheated imagination. _Rey, don’t be ashamed. It is only natural for me to want you this way. Passion is embraced in the dark side, you know._ His eyes twinkled mischievously.

 _I’m not from the dark side, so I don’t have to accept it,_ she argued back.

He changed tactics, _Have you asked about getting some time off? I know you are away from the Resistance at the moment. Maybe you could slip away, meet me somewhere…_ he openly suggested, a hand loosely resting on Rey’s side.

 _No._ She sighed. Only moments before it had frightened her to consider that he knew where she was. Now, she longed for him to know so they could be together. This was crazy. She looked up and saw he’d heard her thoughts. _Well, it is crazy! Nothing makes sense anymore. Besides, I wouldn’t be very good company now anyway. I’m far too tired for one,_ she rubbed her throbbing temples with both hands, _And two, I’m here for a reason and I can’t leave until I’ve finished the talks. If they knew I was talking to the Supreme Leader of the First Order, I… I don’t know what they’d do… but it wouldn’t be good. Being former slaves of the bad guys kind of leaves a bad taste in your mouth, especially when it’s taken forever to rebuild the only piece of land on an ocea…_ Rey didn’t finish the thought. She had been about to give him a vital clue to where she was.

_Rey. I’m going to find you, and then I’m coming to you._

_No! Please, Ben!_ She placed both hands on his broad chest, a gesture of supplication.

 _So I’m Ben again, am I?_ He asked sardonically, then muttered out loud, “Rey, I’m always waiting for you. You always choose them over me. I won’t let you this time.”

“I’ll be gone by the time you find out where I am and get here. I’ll leave right now if I have to,” she answered, panicking in earnest.

He sighed. Resigned to her decision. “Alright. I’ll wait,” he agreed tonelessly, “but I won’t wait forever, Rey,” he warned in a low voice that managed to warm Rey up more than the bed cover had.

“Th…thank you. I’ll figure this out, I promise. I’ll be back with the Resistance in a few days, then I’ll ask,” she placated him, daring to raise one of her hands to his cheek. He covered her hand with his,

“I know you will,” was all he replied before Rey was returned to her frigid room, still draped in Kylo’s bed cover. Well, he could always demand another. Rey giggled at the thought of some entry level intern named Randy having the bad luck of being the one to fetch Kylo Ren a new blanket out of the storeroom closet. 

What she didn’t bargain on was that Kylo Ren, being of the dark side, had no intention of keeping his word. He had already ordered a background check of planets fitting the description she had given him in her moment of weakness.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Emperor suspects that Kylo Ren has been compromised by Rey. Oh her way to another planet, Rey rebuilds her saber. Leia intercepts and tells her Palpatine is still alive despite being killed by Darth Vader. To find him, Rey must go to Pasaana to get the other Wayfinder so that the Resistance can defeat the Emperor. Rey and Kylo have a cold and unpleasant interaction, quite unlike their last secret encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me hours to write even though it's so short, hubby had to step in and write the last part, maybe it's just because I'm really tired today. But anyway, here it is. We have borrowed this scene from TROS, but it is only to forward the plot. We will be putting our own spin on events going forward from this scene. 
> 
> This required me to watch this part of the movie again and I've really been avoiding re-watching TROS because it makes me very sad. But it had to be done.
> 
> As always, please comment and let us know what you think ;)

* * *

Upon their arrival on Exegol, the Knights of Ren were summoned by the Emperor. The dark throne room had an electric energy such that they had never felt, even from Snoke. The emperor beckoned them closer, “You have served Lord Ren well,” he smiled, “but now, you serve me.”

All but one of the knights kneeled before the Emperor. “No?” he asked, if he was surprised or even upset by this set of events, Emperor Palpatine did not show it. In fact, he seemed pleased.

“My loyalty is to Kylo Ren. I never served Snoke,” the knight, known as Trudgen, said loudly, “I will never serve you,” he said defiantly.

“Well then, that’s all settled,” simpered the Emperor and released a charge of Force lightening on Trudgen. Trudgen, being one of the more Force sensitive knights, resisted the initial attack and seemed to be gaining ground against the Emperor. The Emperor started laughing, “Do you really think you can withstand me? You weakling!” With this, he fully unleashed a torrent of reinforced lightning, killing Trudgen almost instantly and without much effort.

The other knights pledged their allegiance, “All hail the Emperor!”

“Knights of Ren,” the Emperor began, “Lord Ren may have been compromised by that Jedi girl. I need you to help him bring her to me, that my plans may be fulfilled.” The knights unilaterally beat their chests with a closed fist in salute and left the throne room without further words.

__________________________

Rey sat on the floor in the Falcon fiddling with the parts to fix her lightsaber. The talks on Manaan had gone well, yet they had not fully pledged their support. As she had taken her leave from them, they had promised to send a galactic message with their answer once they had fully deliberated on her request. They had assured her that they would not leave the Resistance without an answer. More than that Rey knew she would not get from them. She hoped she had done a good enough job presenting the Resistance’s cause. Rey had some time to focus on her saber while in hyperspace.

She quieted her mind, reached out in the Force and started disabling her saber. Once disassembled, the saber parts floated in the air at eye level in front of her. This simplified removing the faulty parts, freeing the fractured crystal. Upon inspection of the crystal, she realised she would only need a small ventilation chamber to stabilise it. She realised that this was the very reason for the strange design of Kylo Ren’s saber, his crystal was also fractured. She grimaced, wondering if it was a sign. Muttering to herself, she said, “No, I will not make mine look like his.” She reached into the Force and an image appeared to her of a single saber with a small ventilation chamber at the base of the handle. She knew that she would have to train not to injure herself accidentally, but this design also had its advantages. She immediately proceeded to assemble her new lightsaber.

Once done, she turned it on, holding her breath to see if the ventilation would prevent an explosion. The blue twinkled back at her from both ends of the handle, somewhat stable. She twirled it experimentally, finding the balance of the new saber. She had a few hours to familiarise herself with its new weight and balance, hours that would not go to waste.

______________________________

“Rey!” Leia’s voice came urgently over the comms, “We’re going to have to shelve the mission to Umbara. We’ve had some intel,” Leia swallowed, the tension in her communication palpable. “Emperor Palpatine is alive! I don’t know how he managed to survive when Darth Vader killed him all those years ago. We think he’s taken Snoke’s place at the head of the First Order. He must be stopped at all costs! We don’t know where he is, but there is something called a Wayfinder, it will show us the way, then we can take them by surprise. Only two were ever built, I’m assuming that the First Order has the other one. One of our spies has reported that the other could be on Pasaana. You must use the Force, Rey, let it guide you to the Wayfinder. I will send Poe, Finn and Chewie to meet you” Leia said.

Rey was ashen, “But if he didn’t die when Darth Vader killed him… how can we defeat him?” 

“I don’t know, Rey. We’ll have to figure it out, but if we don’t do _something_ …” Leia looked so tired, the strain of the war clear in her face.

“Of course. I’ll change my course at once and meet Poe and the others on Pasaana,” Rey replied. She dropped the Falcon out of hyperspace, punching in the new destination coordinates. 

________________________________

It was the Aki-Aki’s Festival of the Ancestors, a celebration that only occurred once every 42 years. There were colourful kites, stalls with sweets and other delectable eats. Some of the Aki-Aki came over to Rey and bestowed a necklace on her, welcoming her as was their custom. Rey couldn’t believe the sight before her, many were dancing in tandem, all seemingly with great joy. This was what stood out to Rey the most. The planet was a strong reminder of Jakku, having a similar environment, yet the difference was the happiness of its inhabitants. No one here was sad or angry. Rey, Poe, Fin and Chewie ventured into the crowd. C3-PO and R2-D2 had joined the expedition and C3-PO was in the process of explaining the culture to them. Rey wondered off on her own through the crowd. Turning to admire some of the kites, the scene suddenly darkened around her and she felt the Force shift. They were each on their side of it, neither being in the other’s space, Kylo wore his wretched mask again, it had somehow been repaired since they had last been physically in each other’s presence. He tilted his head, almost as if he were reading something in her, then he nodded, accepting whatever it was he had seen. He was not the Kylo of their last secret encounter, he was the Kylo Ren of the First Order.

“Palpatine wants you dead,” he began in a matter of fact tone, not bothering to disguise that he had read her thoughts. “I offered you my hand once,” he said almost ruefully, “you wanted to take it, why didn’t you?” despite the mask, she could hear the emotion in his voice.

“You could’ve killed me, why didn’t you?” she replied.

“You can’t hide, Rey… not from me.”

Rey steeled herself and countered the only way she knew how, “I see through the cracks in your mask. You’re haunted. You can’t stop seeing what you did to your father.”

“Do you still count the days since your parents left?” he countered back, “such pain in you… such anger. I’m going to find you and I’m going to turn you to the dark side. When I offer you my hand again, you’ll take it.” Rey all but shivered at the menace in his voice.

She hissed angrily, “We’ll see.” Kylo lunged forward and snatched the necklace from around her neck, breaking the links between the wooden beads. As suddenly as they had been connected, he disappeared, along with her necklace. Rey was shaken to the core. She felt like a fool. She had honestly believed that he had begun to change for her, that he still had some good in him. She regretted saying that to Finn. When the others caught up to her, she pretended that nothing had happened, telling herself silently that she would never open herself to Kylo again.

They trekked through the sand in the midday sun, trusting Rey’s grip on the Force to guide them towards the Wayfinder. Rey had been so focused on finding it that she failed to notice that they had wandered into black quicksand. They began to sink. Poe became frantic, thrashing desperately; Chewie bellowed, while the droids had accepted their fate. Finn looked over to Rey, a look of fear in his eyes.

“Rey…” he began as his head was nearly under the sand, “I want to become Jedi.”

Luckily, the quicksand had dropped the into a subterranean tunnel. Rey looked at Finn, “You decide to tell me that now!” she said half shocked, and a little irritated “Guess we’ll have to find time in your schedule.” She smiled. No sooner had Rey finished speaking when she felt the presence of the Force, the dark side no less.

“I think the Wayfinder is in the tunnel, follow me,” she said to her compatriots and darted down the tunnel.

They had not been wandering for long when they came upon the body of what seemed to be a Sith Jedi hunter. Rey stopped and said softly, unwillingly inhaling the stale air around them, “I think the Wayfinder is here. Help me move the body.” It did not take them very long to find the Wayfinder.

When Rey picked up the Wayfinder, she felt a shiver run over her entire body as she felt the presence of the dark side. Even Finn remarked, “Is it just me or did it suddenly get cold in here?” Rey turned and remarked,

“No, Finn that is just the presence of the dark side.”

Suddenly, without warning, a huge sand serpent rose from the ground and prepared to attack them, it seemed drawn to the Sith Artifact. Rey’s instincts were to draw her weapon, but just then she remembered the training she and Leia had done and that the force connects everything. _Maybe it knows a way out_ , she thought. She instructed the rest of the party to be on the defensive but not to attack the serpent. She closed her eyes, centered herself and reached out to the serpent using the Force. _Great, I connected with it_ , she thought to herself. Suddenly the beast became docile and she searched its mind for an exit. “I got it! I know where the exit is,” she exclaimed softly, “Let’s go!”

They had hardly been back in the blazing heat of Pasaana when she felt a disturbance in the Force, but this was different, she focused and suddenly spun around and yelled “It’s Kylo Ren you need to get out of here!” They started making their way to the ships without any protest as they knew she was the only one who stood a chance against Kylo. Rey sensed that Kylo was closing in fast and they wouldn’t make it if she didn’t take a stand. He would kill her friends and no matter how she felt about him, he was her enemy. She wouldn’t let him hurt them. “I’ll delay him, get out of here!”

She focused and felt Kylo’s presence she took her new saber out and thought, well now is as good a time as any to test it. In the distance, she saw a dust cloud that she knew was Kylo. She centered herself in the force took a deep breath and spoke under her breath, “there is no emotion, there is only the force”.

She readied her blade and started running full speed towards the TIE Fighter that was almost on top of her. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo appeared from the wreckage, a dark mass of a man, curling mane fluttering in the wind. He approached her slowly, unexpectedly, he showed no intent of aggression.
> 
> “I am here to take you with me, Rey” Kylo said in a curiously low, flat voice.
> 
> “I will not go with you, not now, not ever!” Rey yelled back at him. In that moment there was nothing else. No Jedi, no Sith. Just her intense dislike for this man and her deep desire to make him go away and leave her alone. A voice in her head screamed for him to just go away, to just… die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, if you're enjoying this, please let us know by Kudos or comment - we want to write something that fills the hole left by TROS for others as well, not just for ourselves. 
> 
> We're open to hearing suggestions and answering any questions.
> 
> Can't believe it's over 1000 hits! You guys rock!!!

* * *

Leia stepped out on the landing pad and took a deep breath. Her meeting was to begin shortly. The stakes were high as this meeting would likely shape the future of the Resistance and possibly the galaxy after this war.

She saw a figure approaching through the mist and immediately told her guards to be on the defence, blasters at the ready. Luckily, the shadow turned out to be none other than Mon Mothma, “Stand down!” Leia instructed and quickly walked over to the elderly lady, the former chancellor of the new republic and a dear family friend.

“My dear aunt it’s so good to see you!” Leia exclaimed, overcome with joy as she hugged the elderly woman.

“It is so good to see you, Leia, too much time has passed since we last saw each other and I would have hoped that it would be under better circumstances” her voice soft and somewhat fatalistic.

Leia smiled knowingly, both women knew what was at stake and not a further word on the matter passed between them.

“Let’s go, we don’t have much time” Mon Mothma said with urgency.

On the way to the meeting, the morning mists cleared and Leia was able to make out the Old Jedi temple, it was in ruins and long abandoned after the Emperor died. She was overcome with what she could only describe as sadness at the final destiny of the once noble Jedi Order. She closed her eyes and focused to try and see if she could feel any remnants of the Force. Suddenly, she felt Ben in the Force, he seemed darker than usual. She had, over the years, been able to get a sense of him at times, the link between mother and son never truly broken. “Force, please help my son, bring him back to me,” she muttered to herself almost hopelessly.

_____________

Dejected, Leia saw Coruscant disappear in the distance as the ship entered hyperspace. The talks to garner support had failed, it seemed that whatever they were going to do they would have to do it alone.

“Please bring me some water,” she asked a member of the crew. She wasn’t feeling well. Her arms felt heavy and she had a throbbing headache. _I’m probably just tired and stressed_ , she thought to herself and went to lie down.

_______________

Rey had reached her mark in time, she spun around, facing away from the fighter and ignited her lightsaber. _I won’t be able to do this if I look_ , she told herself. Rey closed her eyes and reached into the Force. _Focus!_ She urged herself silently. She reached deeper and could feel Kylo’s TIE Fighter racing towards her, she could feel it cut the air like a knife. She could feel its distortion of the Force around it. _I have to time this right._

 _Now!_ She thought as she leapt into the air backwards and brought the hissing blade to bear on the right strut of the TIE Fighter, she felt the pressure when it hit the strut, she focused all her energy into this single blow. He wasn’t going to get to her friends, she would make sure of that, even if it cost her her life. She landed on her feet and surveyed the fighter, for a moment she thought she had failed… and then the ship split in two.

The blow severed the strut, strut going one way and the rest of the ship going in another, kicking up a gigantic dust bowl as the machine made contact with the surface, more dust hurtling into the air each time the ship hit the ground and broke into smaller pieces. For a mere moment she thought about Kylo and whether he was… This was immediately replaced with anger - towards him and herself. _How could I have been so stupid?!_ She chastised herself once again.

She knew he was still alive, she could feel him. The relief poured in along with the anger. She had opened her heart and he had betrayed her! Treated her like an object, a means to an end. She had been something akin to a slave once, she would not have that, never again would she be dependent on someone else for her survival, forced to beg. She reminded herself that she had people who loved and cared for her. She would not lose sight of that for Kylo! He had charmed her, but clearly he was only trying to use her, like Plutt once had. 

Kylo appeared from the wreckage, a dark mass of a man, curling mane fluttering in the wind. He approached her slowly, unexpectedly, he showed no intent of aggression.

“I am here to take you with me, Rey” Kylo said in a curiously low, flat voice.

“I will not go with you, not now, not ever!” Rey yelled back at him, furious at his imbecilic notion that she would turn to the dark side. She was the one to strike first, her anger, hurt and frustration getting the best of her. She wanted to be free of this monster, she wanted to stop having feelings for him, she wanted….she wanted it to all go away. In that moment there was nothing else. No Jedi, no Sith. Just her intense dislike for this man and her deep desire to make him go away and leave her alone.

His blade met hers with a hiss as Kylo quickly defended himself against the wildly aggressive attack. “My, my, aren’t we feisty today,” he taunted her. “You know how this will end, Rey,” he added.

“With you on the ground!” Rey spat back. She leapt back, spun low and arced her lightsaber upwards trying to cut Kylo from stem to stern. Kylo blocked the blow with his cross hilt. He deflected the attack, spun around and brought the saber down on Rey in a lowered position.

He had her at a disadvantage, her anger was clouding her judgement. She blocked the shot and Force pushed Kylo into the wreckage of the TIE Fighter. This bought her valuable time to catch her breath. She got up and charged at Kylo, jumping up and twisting her body diagonally, using her body’s momentum to swing the lightsaber. This allowed her to bring the full force of the impact to bear upon the wretched man. But she was too slow, Kylo dodged, spun back and arced his saber towards her exposed back.

Rey leapt over the attack, and Kylo. Her anger still fueling every desperate blow. A voice in her head screaming for him to just go away, to just… die. She brought her saber down sideways hoping for it to strike home across the blackguard’s lower back, just one hit she thought, then this will be over. She landed in a hunched position.

Kylo had expected this and followed through with the momentum of his initial attack, swiftly locking sabers with Rey. They were now locked together, willing the other’s defensive stance to fail so that either of them could get the upper hand. They locked eyes for a moment and she could swear she saw sadness and regret, pain and betrayal reflecting back at her. _It doesn’t matter_ , she steeled herself, mustering her anger. She spun on her heal, dodging his blade and rising at once, putting some distance between herself and Kylo. She readied the Force around her, pulling it in for an attack. She had meant to Force push him, but instead, a bolt of lightning leapt from her hand. He managed to dodge it, but she saw the surprise in his face. _Now’s my chance_ , she thought, _his guard is down_. Her entire body was devoted to hurting this man - no, killing this monster!

For the briefest moment, Kylo thought he could feel his mother. He hadn’t felt her in many years, hadn’t allowed himself to. She was the epitome of his weakness. Taking advantage of Kylo’s momentary distraction, Rey leapt forward and stabbed him. Her saber found its mark and went through his flesh like a hot knife through butter. The smell of scorched flesh filled the air. Kylo fell backwards, his face filled with anguish and sadness, losing consciousness as he fell to the floor.

Suddenly, she snapped out of it, whether it was the smell or their connection she could not tell, but what she knew was that he was gravely injured - it felt like she had stabbed herself. She realised she had succumbed to the dark side, she had struck him down in anger. She started to weep, “I’m sorry Ben! I… I didn’t mean to…” she stammered. Then, she felt it, she knew she could heal him. She remembered her lesson with Leia, giving peace to other living creatures… If she could give peace, then she could give life. She knew that she could make this right.

She held her hand over the wound and focused, it felt like she and Ben were one, she could feel the wound and she willed it to heal. She did not remember how long it took because through their connection, and his weakened state, she easily gained access to his mind. She saw the vision that Kylo had of them ruling the galaxy when Kylo was on Exegol, but she wasn’t prepared for what she saw next. She saw a figure cloaked in the shadows, she saw herself and she saw Kylo on the floor in a dark room. She held a red saber and was wearing a black Sith robe with a gold inlay. “Yes, kill him!” The man roared, “Kill him and fulfill your destiny and rule by my side forever!” she heard the man continue. In absolute horror, she saw herself strike Kylo down. She was then transported to another scene where she heard this same man speak to Kylo. “Lord Ren, you have to strike her down or she will be the end of you! I have seen it, she is plotting to entrap you and let the Resistance execute you!” He snarled. The man disappeared and she saw Kylo’s face, not filled with anger, but betrayal and grief, like he had lost a loved one. As suddenly as the link opened, it ended. To her amazement, when she opened her eyes the wound was gone and there was only a black hole in his tunic where she had stabbed him.

She was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness for Kylo and kissed him on the forehead. “I am sorry,” she whispered and got up without another word, wiping the dust off her face. She began her trek back to the Falcon.

The Falcon was silently humming as it made its way to Umbara. She had reassured the others that all was fine, she didn’t need assistance, it was only a resource finding mission. Despite the clear misgivings both Poe and Finn had, they had respected her decision and returned to the Resistance. She needed some time alone to process what had happened on Pasaana. She had the Wayfinder and the Resistance needed the resources on Umbara more now than ever. Rey had just stepped out of the small refresher on the Falcon, it had taken ages to get all the sand out. She had forgotten how uncomfortable desert planets were and in that moment, she was grateful she had left Jakku. She smiled to herself as she remembered how she had met Finn and the first time they had flown the Falcon and bested the First Order. “That seems so long ago,” she mumbled to herself as she got dressed. She sat on her bed and examined the Sith Wayfinder. She reached out to the Force and felt that it was imbued with the dark side. _That makes sense_ , she thought to herself. Unexpectedly, she was pulled into a vision. She was in a dark room surrounded by mirrors, but the image staring back at her was her.. but not quite her, a darker her… a Sith Lord. She reached for her saber but it wasn’t there. She came face to face with her Sith Self. She wore a black Sith robe with gold inlay, exactly like the robe she had seen in Kylo’s mind and she had a double-edged saber. Her eyes were dark, full of hatred and anger. Without warning, Darth Rey brought the double-edged saber swinging down. The room was filled with an ominous red glow and she could hear herself scream. The shock brought her out of her vision, she was shaking. “Will I become what I am trying to avoid…?” Rey moaned in anguish.

It occurred to her that the only person who could help her now was her Master. She had to get in touch with Leia. She swiftly packed the Wayfinder away.

_________________

When Kylo awoke he was not in the desert anymore. It vaguely resembled his quarters on the Finalizer, but not quite. “Good, you’re awake,” a familiar voice said gruffly from what he presumed was the other side of the room. Kylo sat up and asked, “Ap’lek, how did I get here?”

“We found you in the desert,” he smirked, “I can’t believe that _scavenger_ beat you Kylo. We had to drag your sorry excuse back to the Night Buzzard.I am glad to see you’re awake and alive,” he said, pointing at the hole in Kylo’s shirt. He tapped Kylo on the back and, as he made to leave he turned and said, “I will leave you now. I need to check on the boys. We’re rendezvousing with the Finalizer and then we will be on our way again.”

Kylo was tired and not really in the mood for banter and was grateful for the silence and solitude. As Supreme Leader he hardly got a moment to himself anymore. He sat and thought about recent events. He hadn’t summoned the Knights of Ren… how had they found him? Then there was _her_ … He thought of the battle and of the power Rey had harnessed and was in awe. “No,” he growled, “she will betray me! I have to make her submit to me, I have to get her…” he stopped mid-sentence as he heard a disembodied voice.

“Fancy meeting you here,” the voice quipped.

“Who’s there?” Kylo growled menacingly, preparing himself to fight.

“No need to get angry, Ben. It’s just your grandfather.” The ghost of Anakin Skywalker appeared before him. Kylo knelt immediately,

“Lord Vader!” He exclaimed.

“No, no, no, get up boy. If you want to address me, call me Grandfather or Anakin, Lord Vader is dead,” Anakin said sternly.

Kylo was dumbfounded and sat down on the bed. In front of him was his grandfather, the legend he had sought to live up to his entire life.

Anakin quipped jovially, “Well if you aren’t going to talk, I haven’t got all day, so I’ll start. Listen, Ben, the Emperor cannot be trusted! He will manipulate and scheme and use everyone around him to get what he wants.”

Kylo did not even protest at being called Ben, his grandfather was here and he felt oddly at peace. “He promised me that I can bring order…” he began.

Anakin looked at his grandson and smiled “…to the galaxy.” He finished Kylo’s sentence. “I know, he made me promises too. I saw visions of your grandmother’s death and I desperately wanted to save her. Unfortunately, my actions not only cost me the life of my soulmate, but also any hope I had of ever having a relationship with my children. I was so obsessed with power, I gave my free will to another and became a slave. _Because_ I was afraid of losing your grandmother, I ended up on the path that resulted in me losing her forever.”

Kylo listened intently and replied, “but Grandfather, if I have the power, surely I will succeed where you fail...” Anakin cut Kylo off.

Anakin smiled and said, not unkindly, “You are being foolish, Grandson. I implore you to reconsider the important things in this life. You have your whole life ahead of you - and your other half in the Force to share it with! ” With that Anakin disappeared.

Kylo sat in silence for the rest of the journey contemplating his grandfather’s words, and the fact that he had appeared to him at all. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia is diagnosed with Rooze disease, it has already begun to take its course. She reaches out to the two people in the world she loves most. **Warning** Death of a major character in this chapter as well as violence.
> 
> Oh no. Hux did it again.... Please don't read past when Kylo speaks to Hux if you're sensitive to violence. It will be very violent. He gets the end that he deserves. Skip this chapter if you need to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... it had to happen some time. You knew it was coming lol. Hux gets his just desserts. 
> 
> Also, happy birthday to my dearest husband and co-writer, my dyad in the Force.  
> As part of his birthday, we're posting three chapters today.
> 
> As always, please leave a kudos or comment if you like this.

* * *

Leia was staring pensively out her window at the movements of the three celestial bodies that signified the start of a new day. Under normal circumstances she would have already made her first round, but this was not a normal day.

“So this is it” she muttered, “This is how it ends.”

She recalled the events of the previous day. She hadn’t been feeling well and had decided to go to the medbay to get a routine check-up. Never in her life did she think that that decision would change everything.

“Rooze Disease…” she muttered under her breath, _How? Where? Who else?_ She thought anxiously.

The door to her quarters beeped, “Enter” She said. A medical droid entered, the same droid that had given her the terrible news the previous day. “General, we have established that you are not contagious and there is no one else that is afflicted with the disease,” the droid said tonelessly.

“Thank you,” She responded absentmindedly and dismissed the droid. Picking up her data pad, she said to herself, “It’s time.” She hailed Lieutenant Connix on the commlink.

“Yes, General?” her voice rang over the comm.

“Please ask Commander Dameron to come to my quarters immediately,” Leia requested, “it’s urgent.”

A few minutes later the door beeped once more, somehow, these beeps sounded heavier, as if the beeps carried the gravitas of the news she had to deliver.

Poe entered, “Morning, General,” he said with a smile on his face. She smiled back at him even though she didn’t feel it and motioned to the chair next to her. “Please sit, Poe. Poe, I fear that I have only bad news to give you… My recent trip to Coruscant was a failure” she said sadly.

Poe looked at her, wary of the further bad news she had to impart, he responded cautiously, “What’s the other bad news, General?”

Leia swallowed heavily, “I’m dying.” Her words hung in the air like a death sentence in itself. She hadn’t had the time to comprehend it and saying it out loud had made the finality of it clear. _Damn the empire!_ she thought.

“Dying?! General!” Poe said, ”Surely, you’re joki…”

Leia cut him off mid-sentence, anguish strewn across her face, “Unfortunately, Poe, I am not joking and would never joke about such a thing!” she said tersely.

Poe’s eye’s fill with fear and confusion, “But, but…Leia…How? Surely…” His voice trailed off as he processed the news. In this moment formalities did not strike him as important.

“Well, Poe… It seems that I was assassinated by one of my many enemies whilst on Coruscant. I have gone over all my travel records and this is the only place where I was exposed enough for an assassination attempt” Leia said with a steadfast tone, conveying the seriousness of the news to the man who would now become the General of the Resistance. Ready or not, he was the only member capable of leading the troops.

“Assassinated?! General!” Poe said gruffly “but, you are still very much alive!” He continued.

Leia raised her hand and stopped him, “Yes, Poe, Assassinated, I have Rooze disease, it is...” she paused briefly, “very rare. A biological weapon developed by the Galactic Empire many years ago. When I found out yesterday, I had the medical team test the entire troop compliment under the guise of a routine medical check-up. It seems I am the only victim…” her voice died away and she dropped her head momentarily before composing herself again

In disbelief, Poe slumped back in the chair and suddenly jumped up and started pacing, “No!” He exclaimed, “I refuse… this can’t be… ! I will arrange for a transport to go to Coruscant.” Leia was now holding his hand in both of hers. He did not know how she had traversed the room. He was focused on finding a solution, but it hadn’t mattered. He saw it in her eyes - this was it. Sadness resonated between them. It struck him, this was real and it was happening. _What about the Resistance?_ He thought.

As if reading his mind, Leia said gently, “You are now their leader, _General_ Dameron, please take care of them.” A tear rolled down her cheek and she turned away and walked back to the window.

“How… How long till…?” Poe couldn’t bring himself to utter the rest of the sentence.

Leia knew what he was trying to ask, and responded softly, “One standard galactic day, give or take a few hours…”

This struck Poe so hard that he had to sit down “A day?!” he exclaimed with bewilderment in his voice.

Leia turned, her eyes filled with emotion, “Yes, Poe, unfortunately… luckily it’s not a painful death, thank the Force for that.”

Poe tried to find words, but they did not come. This was not how he had expected to lead the rebellion or how he had wanted to be given the reigns… Leia’s voice cut straight across his thoughts.

“Poe, please will you do this for me?” she said softly.

Poe now looked at Leia, “Sorry, could you say that again…? I was… a bit distracted” he said in a hollow tone.

“Please, don’t tell anyone, I will do that when the time is right. Please, promise me!” She entreated.

Poe wanted to argue but he saw that, on this point, there was no negotiating. He had to respect the dying wishes of his commander, his friend, “I promise” he said and got up, wanting to excuse himself so that he could go and find a place to think.

Leia gave him a hug and spoke softly, ”Poe, I am so proud of you! It has been a privilege and an honour serving with you, I will miss you!” This felt so personal, like losing a beloved family member. He dreaded this, but this was inevitable. All he could manage was a feeble “I will miss you too.”

Leia spent most of the rest of the day getting her affairs in order. She met with Maz and gave her the holo-recording that she wanted to have played when she was no longer there. _I’ve lived a full life_ , she thought to herself. Suddenly she remembered the Jedi Code, there is no death, there is only the Force. Maybe, just maybe she would see her brother again.

Later that evening, she could feel the disease running its course and she knew that it was now or never. She wished she hadn’t sent Rey so far away and she wanted to see Ben just one last time, even if there was so little of Ben Solo left, she had to see him, try one last time to get him back. She knew that this would most likely take what was left of her life force, but this was a better end than waiting to fade away like a ghost. “I have to try,” she said to herself.

With this, she summoned the Force, she felt her life force dwindling as the connections opened.

In front of her stood the two people in the galaxy that she loved the most, Rey and Ben.

“Master Leia?” Rey uttered with a confused look and then she spotted Kylo, ”What are you doing here?” she narrowed her eyes at Kylo.

Kylo, looking at Leia, coldly responded “Yes, woman, why am I here?”

“Please! Listen, to me, I don’t have much time left in this world,” this grabbed both their attention, “I have connected us in the Force because…” Leia paused briefly, “because I have to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?!” The other two responded in shock. In an instant, Kylo’s shock turned to anger, “I don’t have time for your machinations woman!“ he said tersely.

Leia responded with a soft voice, “Unfortunately, Ben, this is real. I did not want to leave this place without saying goodbye…” It dawned on him, she saw it in his eyes, she had gotten through to him.

Rey cut in, “Leia! What do you mean ‘goodbye’?!”

Leia turned to Rey and walked over to where she stood, taking her hand, “My dearest Rey, it is my time. It seems I have contracted the rare Rooze disease and instead of just waiting to die I chose to spend my time wisely with the ones I love.” She smiled tenderly.

Rey’s eyes filled with tears as she felt Leia’s Force presence wane. With this Leia kissed Rey on the forehead and with a smile said, “It’s ok my dear, I love you too.” Rey started to sob quietly. _Why?_ She thought, _why now?_ _How will I cope without Leia, she was like a mother to me!_ She felt the ripple again and looked at Leia, they both knew that time was short. Then Leia looked at Kylo, but it was odd, it wasn’t Kylo, it was Ben. With this, Leia turned and walked over to Ben and gently cupped his face with both hands,

“My dearest Ben, I do not have a lot of time, but I wanted to let you know that I have never stopped believing in you or loving you! I hope that you find it in your heart to forgive me for my failings… son… I love you!” with that she faded away and her Force presence could no longer be felt. All that was left was a pile of clothes on the floor. Leia was no more.

In this moment, the Force chose to keep the connection open as if it knew that they needed each other.

Rey was sobbing quietly and wishing that this ache would go away, that Leia wasn’t… wasn’t dead. Unexpectedly, she felt Ben’s arms around her. She looked up, ready to pull away, but all she saw was love, grief and compassion staring back at her. She allowed him to hold her for what seemed like an eternity.

Finally, Ben spoke softly, slowly, pain emanating from his voice, ”I will make them pay. Whoever it was, I – will – make – them - pay!” Rey looked up at him and saw that silent tears were running down his face. She wiped them away, in this moment there was no Resistance, no First order. Just two people who had lost a loved one.

“Ben” Rey said gently, her voice filled with sorrow, “That won’t bring her back…” her voice broke and she started sobbing softly again.

Ben held her tightly, he had never felt this close to anyone before and in this moment, he felt compelled to hold her and protect her as if the Force were guiding him to do so. This made him doubt the vision Emperor Palpatine had shown him. But that was not important now, the only thing that was important was consoling Rey, _his_ Rey. That… and avenging his mother.

They stood in each other’s arms silently until the connection faded.

__________

The next morning, Kylo reached out with the Force. His mother was truly gone, but there was no time to dwell on that, he would have his time to grieve, he had his orders and the Emperor was not to be disappointed. He left his quarters heading directly to the bridge.

“General Hux!” Kylo bellowed.

“Yes, Supreme Leader!” Hux responded in a brittle tone.

“I want a status report. Now!” Kylo roared, turning his grief into anger. _Today,_ _Hux will feel pain_ , he thought, _one wrong move…_

Hux’s exceedingly annoying voice cut across his thoughts, “Sir, the mission is going well and we are on track.”

“Good.” Kylo responded curtly.

“I have another matter of great importance to report on, Supreme leader” Hux said practically grinning.

Kylo shot a simmering look at the snivelling weasel, barely reigning in the desire to Force choke him. “What is it Hux?” He said in a hushed, menacing tone.

“The assassination, Sir, it was a success!” Hux chortled, callously.

Kylo looked at Hux, “Assassination? I didn’t approve an assassination… Hux.” His blood began to simmer.

“I know, Sir, but our intelligence pointed out an opportunity to deal the Resistance a decisive blow. So I made the call and had General Organa killed” Hux said, quite pleased with himself.

Kylo sprang up and yelled viciously, “HUX! DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU MURDERED MY MOTHER WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?!” Kylo could barely control himself. He didn’t even wait for a response. He used his rage and started to Force choke the life out of Hux. He was angry - it was like a tidal wave that had overtaken him, a bitter mixture of grief and sadness. _I’m going to kill him today_ , he thought, almost pleased at the prospect. His very blood demanded justice for his mother.

The weasel was squirming and pleading for oxygen, pleading for his life. He was almost at the point of death. Kylo looked at Hux and said in a dangerously cold voice, “Hux! That was your last mistake!” He Force pulled Hux towards himself. In one smooth movement, he brandished his lightsaber and sliced Hux’s legs off at the knees. Hux let out a howling scream of agony and fell to the floor, the Force push propelling him across the room. Everyone on the bridge knew better than to interfere, or even breathe too loudly. There was silence except for the whimpers that came from Hux, almost completely incoherent as he pleaded for his life. Kylo Force choked him again, “You will pay!” he hissed, his voice dripping with vitriol. He pulled Hux towards him again and with a clean, fluid motion he sliced off both of his arms. Horror and Anguish filled Hux’s face as Kylo Force choked him again.

_Good!_ Kylo thought, then announced aloud, “I want you to suffer… I want you to feel despair and hopelessness,” Kylo’s voice resonated with the fury in his heart. Hux’s eyes had started glazing over. Kylo hollered, “I WANT YOU TO SEE YOUR DEATH COMING!” With this, Kylo leapt forward and in a single motion severed Hux’s head from his shoulders. His head landed on the floor, followed separately by his corpse. Kylo sheathed his lightsaber and let out a menacing growl of hatred, anger, despair and regret. He knew everyone was watching him. “Good… Let them fear me,” he said softly to himself.

He turned to the rest of the crew on the bridge and bellowed, “Let this be a lesson to you all! You do _not_ act without my approval. I am your Supreme Leader! I am your will! Disobey me and you will end up like this _scum_!” Kylo spat in the direction of Hux’s lifeless body.

“Commander Kelthar” Kylo said dryly as he motioned to the man, “Congratulations! You are now the First Order’s new general. If you need me, I will be in my quarters.”

With that Kylo turned and left.

In His quarters, Kylo could not help but feel sadness, but it was mixed with fear. He had lost control. He had felt the dark side so strongly and it had felt… it had felt surprisingly wrong. He had grown used to the presence of the dark side, but this was different.

He dismissed the thought from his mind. ”Training,” he muttered to himself. He swung around and went to his training room and practised until he was too tired to think, too tired to feel, too tired to care. Until he was numb.

When he got back to his quarters, he saw the data pad on his desk. _Tomorrow,_ he thought and collapsed on his bed. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance gathers for Leia's memorial. Kylo connects with Rey through the Force. He silently attends his mother's wake.  
> Rey takes some time off to mourn her master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I dare you to listen to Leia's theme song on repeat while you read this chapter. Here's the link: https://listenonrepeat.com/?v=UtkuZbcZORE&s=&e=#Star_Wars_IV%3A_A_new_hope_-_Princess_Leia_s_Theme
> 
> I'm not crying, you're crying...

* * *

Rey exited the Falcon and was greeted by her friends. “I know,” she said, turning her head away so they wouldn’t see the tears forming.

_______________

By all accounts, it was a beautiful day. Any other day, it would have been enjoyable. Rey leaned her forehead against the window in her small room. Kylo stood next to her, they had not spoken since he had appeared, but it was not uncomfortable. It was a companionable silence. There was a soft knock at the door, Finn said woodenly on the other side, “it’s time, Rey.” At this, Rey turned to Kylo,

“Will you be there?” She asked sadly.

“I’m not welcome, Rey. It’s all my fault!” Self-loathing and self-pity rolled off his simple statement, apparent to her through the bond. She wanted to say something, ached to set his mind at ease, but what was there to say really? _You couldn’t have known that your own people killed your mother because they didn’t know you still loved her?_ No. But the very knowledge that he did, in fact, still care sparked hope in Rey. Hope that she thought had gone out when Leia departed this realm.

“Who cares what they think. You heard what your mother said. She loved you. She forgave you. _Ben_ …” the grief and angst in her voice shattered his defences.

“Alright.” He said. He did not remind her that she could not acknowledge him, that she should hide their connection. As she turned to leave, Rey took Kylo’s hand. He held his breath. He could feel no judgement in Rey.

Considering that there was nothing to burn, as was the custom of Alderaanians, all they could do was honour Leia’s memory. Every member of the Resistance was there. There wasn’t a life that Leia had not touched in some way. Maz stepped forward, holding a holo disk.

“Leia was my friend. I have lived a thousand lifetimes, and her courage was unlike any other. She was a mother to many, and a leader that brought so many different people together. She inspired everyone to follow what they thought was right and fight for fairness and peace. Something she only briefly experienced in her lifetime. Leia is now one with the Force, she is finally at peace. She wanted to say goodbye herself,” Maz held up the holo disk, and played it.

“My friends, thank you. I wish I could have said goodbye to each one of you in person, you all hold a special place in my heart. We have all fought bravely and now you will have to go on without me. Poe will lead you now, and I know that he will be as fearless and as capable as any I could imagine leading the Resistance. It has truly been my honour to stand by your side, I owe all of you a debt of gratitude, which I can never repay,” her voice quivered. There was a moment of silence as she tried to reign her emotions in. “I am one with the Force. Let my peace become yours too.” She gave a watery smile, then held up her hand in greeting and said, “May the Force be with you all.”

In unison, those present replied, “And with you.” Rose began to sob, turning to put her head onto Finn’s shoulder. Every head was lowered in respect, and there was silence pierced by quiet sobs. Kylo stood by Rey’s side. He put a hand on her arm and gently squeezed. He didn’t need to say anything, she felt his grief mingled with her own. The Force had been kind enough to allow a son to bury his mother, but it could not connect them forever. Kylo began to fade away. Rey turned and walked through the crowd, blindly making her way to her room.

The grief threatened to swallow her whole. This was worse than when her parents abandoned her on Jakku, she could hardly even remember them. There was a knock at the door. Rey refused to answer. Not now.

Maz’s voice said calmly, “Rey, Leia gave me something for you.” Rey immediately opened the door. Maz gave her two holo recordings, “Listen to the top one first, she said, patted her hand and left. Rey stared after her, noticing the way the wisened old woman’s shoulders heaved ever so slightly. She couldn’t imagine Maz crying, wasn’t sure if anyone had ever seen her do so.

She closed her door and switched on the recording. Leia’s lovely face appeared before her. Alone, Rey allowed herself to reach out for Leia’s cheek.

“My dear Rey. I’m so sorry I had to leave you. This was not my choice. I wish we had more time,” she smiled lovingly. “I’m so proud of all that you have accomplished. You will do well, my padawan. Remember to centre yourself in the Force, with that, you will have everything you need.”

“Oh Leia” Rey sobbed. She knew it was just a recording, but a testament to how well Leia knew her. The holo recording’s hand reached out towards Rey.

“Undoubtedly, you will need some time to process my departure in the correct way,” Leia said kindly. “I have made provision for that. I always loved Naboo, it’s where my mother was from. I think you would like it there, and I think it’s the right place to mourn me. They are expecting you whenever you’re ready, my child.” She paused, “Then there’s my son, Ben. You’re the only who can save him now, maybe you were always the only one who could. I have seen the difference your presence makes in him. Could you do something for me, Rey?” Leia paused. “I’ve left him a message too. Please will you give it to him?” Leia clasped her hands together. “Thank you, Rey. May the Force be with you.” The recording came to an end. Rey kneeled on the floor.

 _Ben._ She thought, focusing all her energy on his Force signature. _Please, Ben. Please, Force, help me reach him. Please!_ She thought desperately.

“Oh, Rey” Kylo sighed softly in front of Rey. She looked up at him, almost unsurprised that her plea had worked.

“Your mother left you a recording. Please, even if it’s not for her, please listen to it… for me” Rey said in a monotone, tears coursing down her face. She held out the second disk to him. At first he made no move to take it, then he reached down and embraced her. He kissed her head, then her temple. He kissed the tears on her cheeks. She looked up at him. He had been crying too, she thought, the evidence apparent in his red eyes. He leaned in slowly, silently asking permission to hold her. She leaned in and he rubbed her back. Shutting his eyes tightly against the pain in his chest. He didn’t want to feel this way. He wanted to feel anger. He wanted to feel nothing. They sat in each other’s arms, unmoving, comforting each other in a way that no one else could have. Silently, Kylo reached down between them and took the recording clutched in Rey's hand against his chest. They stayed this way until the Force bond severed.

__________________

Later that evening, Rey approached Poe and asked if she could have a few days to mourn her master in the way of the Jedi. He did not object. It was clear that he himself was shaken by Leia’s sudden death. She returned to her room to pack the few things she owned. When she entered, she felt the bond open and he was there again. The Force was being kinder than usual. She felt comfort in his presence. 

“How are you doing?” She asked in a familiar tone.

“Let’s just say that none of my sparring partners are in good shape,” he said without irony.

“Ben,” she sighed and instinctively moved to give him a hug. He didn’t resist, even though she could sense that he was puzzled by her sudden change of heart towards him. He didn’t understand Rey at all.

Seeing Ben so vulnerable made her want to be near him. He seemed human and totally unlike his other self. Ben hesitantly stroked Rey’s hair back from her face. He needn’t have hesitated. She leaned into his warmth and tilted her face up, eyes closed. He knew he shouldn’t, the circumstances were all wrong, but she was there and she was in his arms. He cradled her face with one large hand, and pressed his lips to hers gently. She responded. Some part of was it sparked by grief, another by the undercurrent of emotion that always seemed to be present between them. She broke away from the kiss slowly, knowing that she had to leave. She didn’t want to tell him, instead, she covered his hand with hers and as he had done earlier, she gave it a light squeeze before willing the connection to close.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes to Naboo to be alone in the wake of Leia's death. However, she doesn't expect a guest to join her.
> 
> **WARNING** If you're not into smut, skip this chapter. There's a lot of incredibly smutty smut that's about to take place. If this is part of what you came for, then I hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're finally here. It only took 3 rewrites of this chapter and 11 chapters to get here. Thank you for your patience. I hope you enjoy it, I tried my best here. I've never written a love scene in my life. I struggled to read it out loud to hubby... lol
> 
> Please leave a kudos or comment if you like it ;)

* * *

The attendant showed Rey to her room, “Here we are, my lady,” she said in a soft lilting voice. Rey wanted to tell her not to call her my lady but she forgot when she saw the room. It was large and airy; on her left, she saw high marbled arches framed by glass doors that all seemed to lead out onto a terrace of sorts, a gentle breeze caused the endless yards of white opaque curtains to billow inward, almost in a dance of their own. Beyond it, she could see the glint of the setting sun on the water of the lake, and the reflection of the surrounding greenery in the calm waters. She had no idea a planet as beautiful as Naboo existed, it took her breath away. She began to cry, thinking of the joy Leia had felt being here. She wiped her eyes on her arm bindings, pulling herself together. She looked around her, forgetting about the attendant. On her right, there was an extremely large bed against the wall, set into an exquisitely carved wooden headboard. One corner of the room held a desk and ornate chair, the other held what she assumed was a wardrobe of sorts, also carved with foreign symbols and patterns. At the opposite end of the chamber, she saw a doorway, presumably to the refresher. Well, if this is what the room looked like, she wondered what the refresher could possibly hold in store. She heard the door click shut behind her, her attendant having left her to explore her new quarters. Alarm filled her as she heard a splash from the refresher. Setting her saber down softly, she tiptoed stealthily to the refresher. She hadn’t been wrong, it too was a large room; aside from a toilet and basin, there was a shower that stretched up to the ceiling, several shower heads hanging over it. On the floor was a large, dark, fluffy rug that ran the length of the room up to the enormous bath. _Are there giants on this planet?_ She began to wonder, but the thought died away as she saw the occupant of the tub. Kylo Ren. He lay in the clear, hot water with his arms on either side of the tub, his head laid back and eyes closed. The look of pure bliss and relaxation on his face was something she had never imagined him capable of. Then she allowed her gaze to slowly wander down - over his pectorals, across the rippling muscles of his stomach, which she had seen twice before. Further down still to his flaccid member between his parted legs. As she looked at it, it rapidly began to harden and grow. It looked red and angry, and rose upwards out of the water with a gentle curve. Rey was aware that her mouth was open, her mind hazy - she was rooted to the spot.

“You should really join me, the water is deliciously hot,” he murmured in a low, intimate tone. He’d been aware of her the entire time! Gawking at his naked body, and now his hardness! She was filled with absolute shame and wished the stone floor, or the fluffy rug at least, would swallow her whole. His eyes were now open and he focused on her eyes with a dark intensity. She couldn’t breathe. Before, such a look would have caused her panic, even slight fear, but now? No, not now. The dark look held different intentions. Even in relaxation, he was agile. In a swift movement he had risen out of the tub and came to stand before her, dripping. _Rey._ He whispered her name with an agony that matched hers. He reached out and took her hand, rubbing his thumb along the length of her palm, it felt like a direct line had been forged between his thumb and her centre, causing hot liquid to pool between her legs. He moved her hand and pulled her forward to clasp it around his aching shaft, showing her the motion that he wanted from her hand. She breathed shallowly, mimicking his motion as his hand left hers there. She pumped a little harder, a little faster, a little tighter. He groaned and Rey thought it was the nicest sound she’d ever heard. He leaned in further and licked behind her ear and down to her clavicle, tracing slow circles across her flesh with his tongue. _This is what I’m going to do to you._ She heard it clearly through the bond, although she couldn’t really imagine what he meant. With an unexpected growl, he removed her hand from him and gathered her into his arms, forcing his tongue into her mouth with such ferocity that it took what little breath she had away. Their arms wrapped around each other, pulling their bodies together, their mouths formed a rhythm as they opened and closed against each other, each twisting their heads to one side and then another, desperately trying to get more from this kiss. He ran his tongue along hers and pulled it into his mouth, sucking on it. She ached for him, her desire felt like a brightness at her centre, throbbing with intensity.

“Ohhhh, Kylo,” she moaned into his mouth. What little restraint he had was shattered. He grabbed the back of both her thighs and brought her up to straddle his wet stomach, her legs wrapping around him, the whole front of her clothes soaked from his wet body, and wet handprints marking where his hands had been on her back, bottom and backs of her thighs. He began to carry her back to the bedroom, _Yes! Take me to bed, Kylo,_ she thought to him. As he walked, he hungrily sucked on her earlobe, then sucked patches of skin on her neck into his hot mouth, causing goose bumps to break out across her skin. He deposited her across the bed, toppling over onto her and pushing her further along the sheets so that all of him lay across all of her along the mattress.

“You’re far too dressed for this,” he mumbled, and pulled her tunic over her head, revealing her breast band and smooth stomach. He eyed her chest hungrily. The cool air nipped at her, causing her nipples to stand to attention beneath her breast band. He leaned forward and pulled one into his mouth through the fabric, instantly making a dark spot on the material where his saliva soaked through. He removed her breast band and took her other nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around its hardness and nipping her gently with his teeth. She moaned and whimpered, running her hands anywhere that she could find within reach, his hair, shoulders and back. He sucked her loudly, making love to her nipple as he had to her tongue when it was in his mouth. Gods, she was so turned on, and feeling his desire wash over her through the bond intensified her need for him. The feeling was exquisite! She began to groan and whimper, bucking her hips up into him. She needed him to fill her. It was as if the sensation bypassed her logical brain and she found herself saying things she had never even allowed herself to think before,

“Kylo…Ben…Kylo! Fill me! Please… I need to feel you inside me! Put your cock inside me!” she almost shouted in a strangled voice. She felt his cock twitch against her leg.

“Not yet,” he almost grinned, his eyes so dark they were nearly black instead of brown. He began to unravel her arm bindings, kissing each new section of skin it revealed. It was ecstasy. Then he reached to lower her pants and under things and suddenly she was afraid. She’d never given much thought to sex but she had heard the first time was painful. He was so large, both her eyes and her hand had told her as much. She bit her lip anxiously. Then he sent his feelings to her, feelings of reassurance, pure desire and… nervousness. Was… was he a virgin too?

“Rey,” he said, clearly exasperated, “I had other, more important things, to occupy my time. Anyway, I never saw the need to … before you…” He suddenly couldn’t breathe. Did she know that she was glowing, her eyes alight with pure love, desire and reassurance? 

“You’re not alone,” She said unambiguously, echoing his words to her all those months ago on Ach-To. There was nothing left for him but to repeat what she had replied,

“Neither are you.” It seemed they were destined to repeat their most intimate conversations, giving them new meaning. He realised that she was giving him the one thing that mattered most. It was beautiful and he wanted to ruin her with it. Ruin her for anybody else. He stripped what was left of her clothes off her body, kissing down across her stomach, which caused her muscles to contract, it was quite ticklish. Before she could begin to giggle, he moved his head lower, and looked up at her as he licked her wet slit for the first time. Rey nearly jumped off the mattress at the contact, barely containing herself. Kylo liked seeing her reaction to him, what he could do to her. He had always meant to destroy Rey, but now he realised that he’d wanted to destroy her this way, watch her unravel under him until she was a wet mess. He licked her slit again, then dipped his tongue inside her, swirling it around, relishing the taste of her. He came up and swirled his tongue over her clit and he felt the tremor within her, both physically and across the bond.

“Mmhmmm. So wet for me, sweet Rey,” he murmured against her clit. The vibration of his voice and his hot breath sent her further into bliss. She moaned again, curling the bedding up in her one fist as the other hand snaked down into his hair, yanking then pushing his head further into her folds. His head moved up and down her slit as he ate her out, then he would come back up to make love to her clit, as he had to her tongue and her nipple. She rutted harder into his face, grinding her clit against his punishing tongue, this seemed to turn him on further. He momentarily pulled away from her, letting out an intense groan before resuming. He pushed two, then three fingers inside her. He pumped them in and out in rhythm with his tongue as he stretched her virgin channel, every so often curling his fingers inside her experimentally. He felt her near the edge of her orgasm. He gathered the swollen nub of her clit into his mouth and sucked on it, humming at the same time so that it vibrated against her too. She almost screamed as her orgasm hit her hard, rocking her core and rippling outwards. She squirted into his hand and across his mouth, riding it out as she hammered against his mouth. She began groaning unintelligibly, then he clearly heard her moan,

“I love you so much Ben!” He didn’t need to hear anything else. Wiping his mouth and tongue with some of the bunched up bedding, he crawled back on top of her. Her beauty pierced his heart. He couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes away from hers, _Force, you’re so beautiful!_ He thought to her. Then she leaned up and kissed him, not passionately, but a lover’s kiss this time, slow, intense and gentle. He allowed her to flip him over onto his back so that she was on top and in control this time. The idea of her being in control did primitive things to him. She began to kiss him along the scar she had given him, ghosting across his lips and biting into his shoulder, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to leave another mark on him. He growled something unintelligible. She reached down between them to stroke his member and although it was already hard, her ministrations made it that much more so. Now it was his turn to say things before thinking first,

“Rey, oh, Rey… _My Rey._ I want to mark you, fill every inch of you with every last drop of my come!” at this she ran his shaft up and down in between her wet folds, gathering her wetness to help him ease into her. She seated herself slowly, inch by inch on him, taking him in with her eyes closed. It took every ounce of his will not to come right then. It was still his first time, and the sensations were beyond anything he’d ever felt before. If he had died then and there, it would have been worth it. He summoned the Force to stop his twitching member from erupting, disciplining himself to slow his breathing and calm his mind. Finally, Rey’s hips were flush with his and she stilled, trying to absorb his thick length and the slight burning sensation that followed from her hymen being broken. He stroked her mind with his, the easy affection in this gesture brought her back to herself and she began to move her hips.

“Not too much… I don’t want to come before you do,” he rasped out, “Maker! Rey, you’re so kriffing tight!” he ground out, feeling every ridge inside her tightly stretched walls. She moved slowly up and down, pulling back until he was almost fully out of her, then slowing sliding back down, hip to hip. Once, twice, it was more than he could bear and yet not nearly enough. He pulled her up with him and sat up onto his knees, forcing her to straddle him across his lap, opening her deeper to him. He wrapped his long arms around her and pulled her in, kissing her hair, her eyes, her lips, her collar bone, leaning her away from him so he could lap at her nipples with his tongue, all the while she bobbed up and down on his shaft, keening with pleasure each time he bottomed out into her. He twisted her and laid her down, not breaking the contact between them. Filthy, sloppy, wet sounds filled the room as he slapped against her wetness each time he rammed back into her. The rhythm grew faster and more insistent, his heart felt like it was about to shatter into a million pieces. He shoved his fingers between her bottom and the mattress, digging his fingers into her soft flesh to pull her deeper into him. He was so close as he pounded into her soaked sheath,

“I’m going to fill you, Rey! You’re going to shout my name as my come hits your deepest corners!” He roared, “I’m going to fill you with my child!” Rey was both extremely surprised and unbearably turned on by his words. A vision suddenly filled her mind, her naked on her hands and knees on a bed, her stomach round with his baby and her full breasts grinding back and forth across the sheets as he took her from behind, the power of his desire for her frightening in its strength. She didn’t know if it was real or an image conjured up by his words. The combination of what she’d seen and what he was doing to her now sent her over the edge again. She gurgled and groaned, guttural sounds escaping her hoarse throat along with both his names. This seemed to have an effect on him too, he surged forward one more time as she squeezed and convulsed around him and then with a shout his seed exploded inside her, coating every part of her cervix. He rode out his climax, slowing his strokes as he came down from the high. The excess of their passion dribbled down her thighs as he pulled out of her. His arms could barely hold him up and he collapsed on top of her, but only for a moment, careful not to crush her small frame underneath him. He rolled to the side, staring into her hazel eyes. They both panted with the efforts of their love making. Then, without warning, his lips tugged upwards and Kylo Ren actually smiled. It was like the sun coming out on a rainy day and it did things to Rey’s stomach that she didn’t think were possible after what they had just done. She reached out and tucked an errant hair behind his ear, running her hand down his sweaty cheek and cupping it tenderly. She smiled back and tucked her head into the hollow between his head and shoulder. Before she was even aware of it, sleep came to claim them both. Their chests rose and fell softly as they clung to one another, both sleeping dreamlessly and soundly for the first time in a long time. 

___________________________

Morning came far too quickly. They both woke and blinked in confusion as the sun twinkled at them from across the room. Rey sat up, almost groaning as she did. She was more than a little sore from the previous night’s activities. She pulled the blankets off the bed to cover herself modestly. Kylo sat up too, rubbing his eyes, his hair dishevelled and pointing in several directions. Her heart squeezed tight at the sight, this was a normal morning. This was how they should wake up every day, nothing else to come between them, nothing else to think about but lazy days and skin on skin at night. He read her thoughts,

“Maybe someday…” They both knew that wasn’t true.

“But just for now…?” Rey almost pleaded. Kylo realised he wanted to give her anything in the galaxy. He nodded, then grimaced at the mess they had made on the sheets. A thought then occurred to Rey and she was mortified.

“My attendant! The other people here. Oh no! What must they think of me?!” she said, pulling her hands over her face, horrified.

“It’s not exactly the first time something like this has happened here, you know, and it’s a big place anyway” he drawled, almost smiling again. He explained to her about his grandmother, Padmé, and her secret elopement to his grandfather on Naboo. The staff would think they had eloped.

“Oh no! But that’s not true! You and me…? What on earth would make them think that?! We’re not married!” she stammered.

“Aren’t we, though?” he mumbled, then turned away before she could question what he meant. “Let’s pretend. Just this once. Let’s pretend that we’re on our honeymoon and last night was the culmination of two people in love” he looked at her then. She was sad, knowing that no matter how much they pretended, it would never come true. But all the same, she sighed and nodded her ascent. They showered together in silence, the hot water alternating between soft and hard, almost like a massage. They soaped each other up gently and he washed her hair for her, careful not to hurt her as he combed the tangles out with his long fingers. After drying off, he donned loose clothing from the wardrobe and handed her a robe that tied with a belt at her waist. She looked outside, surprised to see breakfast waiting for them on the terrace. They must have laid it out while she and Kylo were in the shower. How did they know? Were they listening? Which meant that last night… The blush spread from Rey’s chest up into her face.

They sat side by side, gazing out at the scenery as they ate their fill from the rich spread before them, some of the items were food she’d never heard of before. He seemed content to sit there with her, eating, sipping his caf and now and then rubbing a hand along her thigh as if they’d done this all their lives. She must have fallen asleep on his shoulder, when she roused again she realised the sun was much higher in the sky.

“How do you feel, sweetheart?” Kylo said softly into her ear.

“Mmmmm. Better. Almost like everything… is normal. Like she isn’t…” tears blurred her vision.

“I know,” was all he said. Then, some time later, he asked, “would you like to explore a bit? It really is beautiful here. I remember coming here when I was a child…” his voice fell away. He was trying not to think of what he had left behind. Tried not to think of his childhood. It reminded him of his mother, and his emotions regarding her were a muddle of love, longing, grief, anger and bitterness. Rey took his hand, she marvelled that she was allowed to. In this time, in this space, they were nobody. They weren’t Rey of the Resistance and Kylo Ren of the First Order, they could pretend – for now.

“Sure,” she replied, lacing her fingers with his. He did it again. He smiled at her and brought her hand up to his lips. Rey dressed quickly, finding an odd assortment of dresses in the wardrobe. Well, she couldn’t go wandering about in her own clothes. Even _she_ was aware that they were more than a little dirty, and probably smelt of sweat and grease. They crossed the threshold into a vast corridor, Rey had struggled to take it all in the previous day. How could a small desert urchin even begin to understand the luxuries of a place like this? If Leia hadn’t made arrangements for her, they probably would not have let her in. She felt small, insignificant and unsure amidst the ancient grandeur, taking Kylo’s hand as they walked. He seemed quite the opposite, confident, sure of himself, and in a good mood. She kept stealing glances at him, it was like coming face to face with a complete stranger. He seemed so different, so much lighter.

“Quit looking at me like that,” he muttered, “I might be a little out of shape, but I _do_ _know_ how to be in a good mood.” Rey laughed. The palace seemed endless, there were rooms upon rooms with patterned marble floors, stone stairways carved in intricate patterns, arches leading into corridors with more archways. Then there were the gardens, some were open courtyards with a lazy quietness, the only sound the gentle tinkle of fountains and insects humming, others were atriums with plants Rey didn’t know existed. Lovely things with red and yellow plumes, or soft lilac trumpets with black at their centre. Some seemed to have faces, she could almost imagine them looking at her behind her back, the thought didn’t please her. They saw some people as they explored, most greeted them either with a nod or a, “good afternoon,” only once or twice did Rey hear them giggle as they passed. She blushed and the shame curdled in her stomach.

“Ignore them.” He said, although she could tell he was having a hard time supressing his own anger. As the sun began to set, casting the ancient palace in a soft, warm glow, they turned around and made for Rey’s quarters again.

“I’m curious,” Rey began, “How did you know I was here?”

“My mother…” was all he replied. Rey blushed, her face growing hotter.

“She wanted this… she wanted us to…?” Rey couldn’t finish the sentence. The thought of what they had done the previous night and the idea that Kylo’s mother had set it up… had she known what they might do?

“Probably” Kylo answered with a shrug, easily reading Rey’s thoughts. “My mother and…” he swallowed and made himself say the name of the man he had murdered, “…father had a very… passionate relationship, shall we say. They weren’t always very good at hiding it from me, even though they thought they did” Kylo was incredibly uncomfortable as he said this, although Rey was the only one he had ever told or would ever tell. “Although I doubt even my mother could have imagined the things I would do to you, Rey” his tone held a sense of intimacy and Rey couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Kylo took her by the wrist, pulling her behind a large marble pillar. His mouth was on hers, his large hands, although capable of incredible cruelty, were gentle and loving as he kneaded her breasts. Rey couldn’t believe what they were doing. What if someone caught them? Surely they’d be kicked out. But something wicked in her relished being bad. Breaking the rules. The possibility of being caught was scintillating. She ran her hands through his hair, tugging on the soft strands to bring him closer, their tongues entangled. He gripped the back of her one thigh and raised her leg to give himself access. _Are we going to do it here? In the open?_ She thought wildly. Disappointingly, all he did was rut against her core, but she felt his hardness through both their clothing.

“Even I have my limits,” he whispered, “we should get back.” Rey wanted to run the entire way back to their room, dragging Kylo with her. They forced themselves to walk at a normal pace. Once they reached their quarters, the door shut behind them and Rey launched herself onto Kylo, tugging at his shirt.

“My, my, aren’t we eager,” he said smugly as he pulled her dress off her with urgency. Her bare breasts were exposed to him and he lowered his mouth to them. Licking and sucking underneath and between her breasts, making her wait for him to give her what she wanted.

“Please! Please!” was all she could say.

He grinned, “Please what?” He wanted her to say what she wanted him to do to her. She had to have heard it across the bond. Instead she said,

“Please, darling! Please, my love…!” It was all that he needed to hear to break his restraint. He sucked both her nipples in turn, kneading the other breast with his hand. The waves of pleasure threatened to overwhelm Rey. She looked down at his dark hair, his face as he gave her pleasure, she didn’t want to think it. He would know it if she thought it. But she felt it all the same. She wanted to show him how she felt. She pushed him away from her and pulled down his pants. He sprang free, hard as steel. She knelt in front of him, he looked down at her, breathing hard through his mouth. He could see what she intended and the thought left him dizzy. She leaned in and licked his entire shaft from balls to the tip of his cock, he shivered. She did it again. Then she swirled her tongue experimentally across the tip, tasting his pre-cum – she licked her lips and did that with her tongue again too. Then, without warning, she took his head and as much of him as she could into her mouth, gripping his base with her hand. Kylo leaned back against the wall beside the door, his eyes closed. Then she began to suck gently but firmly, careful to keep her teeth away as her hand pumped in motion with her head as she sucked and bobbed her mouth up and down on him. He moaned low and long, she heard her name. He looked down at Rey sucking on his cock almost lovingly. The way she sucked and then licked, gently massaging his balls at the same time turned him on more than he had words to express. He stroked her hair, resisting the urge to pull on it to make her go faster. He was reaching his end quickly, too quickly.

“Stop!” he panted, gently nudging her away from his engorged erection, at her look of confusion he said, “Rey, I want to finish inside you…” Rey burned for him. As she stood, Kylo grabbed her and carried her over to the bed. Neither of them noticed that fresh sheets had been laid, and the bed made. He rubbed his fingers up and down her folds, alternating between massaging her clit and pumping his fingers inside her.

“Stars, Rey!” He mumbled. Rey felt her primitive brain taking over again,

“Kylo! Oh, Kylo! You make me so wet! So – wet! I’ve never been wet like this before… only for you…” she stopped to gasp and moan as her orgasm broke over her. Kylo cradled her hip with his hand and positioned himself at her opening, hardly waiting for her to come down. He thrust into her as she was still reeling from her orgasm, her breath hitched as his rod penetrated her and he seated himself entirely inside her. He began to pump into her slowly, savouring the sensation. Rey felt like she might go mad with frustration. _Soon, Rey. Soon. I want to feel you… I want you to feel me…_

At first Rey didn’t understand what he meant, then she did. He wanted her to feel him through their bond. Open it fully - this meant focusing on more than just the physical sensation. She centred herself, then focused on Kylo’s signature in the Force. She felt him, all of him. The physicality but also the throbbing pulse in the Force as he dragged himself out of her and pushed back in again. It was like a boundless tide, ageless in its motion crashing against the shore. She felt every hair and inch of skin on her body. She felt every inch of him too. She felt his emotions as he tilted his hips against hers, his feelings were sweet and tinged with something warm and solid, like in her dreams. He wasn’t a monster. He was Ben, her sweet, gentle Ben. He could never hurt her.

“Ben, my darling! Oh Ben!” She sighed happily, surging the bond with all of the light inside her. If he had ever meant to reject her, he would turn now. He should. She was all light and he was dark, but he didn’t reject it. She had already given him a piece of her light on Pasaana, a part of the fabric of her being. Rey was everything. He wanted to worship her this way forever. He began to thrust faster into her, she was so incredibly tight, so incredibly wet.

“Rey… Rey!” was all he could get out, “I’m so close!”

“So am I, Ben! Make me come!” she shouted. And then he did.

He panted harshly as his orgasm began to die away, feeling her body loose and relaxed under him.

“Maker, Rey! Is it always like this…?” he asked.

“I… don’t… know,” she said in between breaths as she panted. They lay there side by side on the mattress until both had gotten their breath back.

“I meant what I said yesterday,” he said suddenly. Rey wracked her brain for what he possibly could have said that was important right now.

“The bath water _was_ deliciously hot. You really should join me this time. Have you ever had a bath before?” he asked her. There was no judgement in his eyes.

“No… As it is, showers are entirely a new experience. It might be nice to take a bath,” she said shyly. Kylo ran them a hot, fragrant bath. Rey climbed into the tub first, it _was_ deliciously hot. She watched as Kylo climbed in behind her, gently pulling her back against his chest. She laid her head back against his shoulder and joined their fingers across her stomach. She didn’t allow herself to think that this would end soon. She felt his thoughts going there too, _No! I won’t allow you to think about it either!_ She admonished him. _Remember? We’re newlyweds… on our honeymoon. We’ve consummated our marriage twice, and now we’re cuddling in the tub, because we’re newlyweds and we have all the time in the world._ She insisted. Kylo kissed her temple, then she titled her face and he kissed her lips gently.

“Yes, wife” he said softly.

But they weren’t husband and wife. They weren’t on their honeymoon. They didn’t have all the time in the world. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey have a very difficult, but necessary talk about their path going forward. Kylo tells Rey about her parents. 
> 
> They can't pretend nothing has happened between them but Rey must go back to the Resistance and Kylo must return to the First Order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a super short one, sorry guys. Hopefully it still gives you the feels :)  
> We're busy working on another 2 chapters to post over the weekend.
> 
> As usual, please comment if you like this, or if you have any suggestions ;)

* * *

Rey awoke before Kylo, long before the sun was up. The cool of the night still hung in the air, it was very early. She lay facing Kylo, or Ben as she had begun to think of him. If he were awake he would probably object to her use of his former name, although he hadn’t during their love making. His arm was loosely slung over her waist, he gripped her tighter now and then, twitching in his sleep. She lightly traced a finger over the scar she had given him, wondering if she would ever see him after their time on Naboo, at least on this side of his saber. She lay there for some time staring at him, taking in every feature of his face that she didn’t already know.

Kylo awoke to Rey staring at him with an intensity that made him worry. “Are you alright?” he murmured.

“Yes… I just don’t want to forget anything…” she confessed.

“Oh, I see,” he engulfed her hand between two of his, hers completely disappearing, then he pulled her close, kissing her forehead tenderly. Nobody would have believed that Kylo Ren had tenderness in him, but they would if they had seen him in this moment. “Rey, we need to talk about things,” he sighed, “Neither of us can pretend this didn’t happen. I don’t think the Force would allow us to even if we tried.” He said simply. Rey nodded. They dressed and went to sit out on the terrace. The sun had begun to peek over the horizon, it was going to be a beautiful sunrise.

“We could run away together,” Rey said without much conviction, knowing it was not only stupid, but impossible. _Sorry. I know, I know._ She thought to him.

“Rey, you’ve got to go back,” as she opened her mouth to protest he continued, “I’ve got to go back too.”

“You’re going back to the First Order?!” She asked incredulously. “You don’t belong there… I’ve seen the _real_ you! You’re not who they think you are. You’re not even who _you_ think you are!” she said hotly.

“Rey…” he tried to interject.

“So, what? Do we pretend this never happened? Go our merry way and keep trying to kill each other until one of us succeeds? If that’s even possible in a dyad!” Kylo leaned forward suddenly and kissed Rey, the emotion behind the gesture was clear. It succeeded in stopping Rey’s tirade.

“Sweetheart, I know this is hard. _I know_. But you’re going back to people that you call your friends, they’ll take care of you… at least until we can figure things out.” He said running a hand through his hair. It dawned on Rey that she was the lucky one. She had friends to go back to, what did Kylo have? Troops. Commanders and generals who would gladly murder him in his sleep if they knew it were possible to do so without him using the Force.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice heavy with regret. “You’re right, what other choice do we have?”

“We’ll figure this out, Rey. The Force chose us to be a dyad, there’s definitely a reason for that, we just have to look for it,” he said with resignation. “Besides, if I don’t go back to the First Order then they’ll hunt both of us down. I can protect you better from the inside. Rey… There’s something you should know. Something Palpatine showed me,” he had her full attention, but he found it hard to say what he knew he needed to tell her.

_Tell me, Kylo. It’s ok, I can handle it._ She thought to him.

_It’s about your parents…_ he thought back.

“My… parents…?” Rey was stunned.

“I was wrong, Rey. I was wrong about your parents. Wrong about where you came from… Your mother and father didn’t abandon you. They didn’t sell you off for drinking money, although they did die… but not on Jakku,” he added quickly. “This is going to be a lot to take in - your father and mother tried to hide you from your grandfather, that’s how you ended up on Jakku. They gave their lives to protect you…” Rey was speechless, Kylo waited for her to process what he had told her.

“My… my grandfather? Why did they need to hide me from him?”

“Because your grandfather is Emperor Palpatine, Rey…” was all Kylo said. He waited again for Rey to digest his news. She opened her mouth, then closed it. What was there to say to something like that?

“I’m sorry to say that he showed me… I saw him torture your parents but they wouldn’t give you up. He had them both killed. I’m so sorry!” Kylo took Rey’s cold hand in his, rubbing warmth into it as she sat staring blankly in front of her.

“Palpatine is my grandfather?” she whispered in horror. “I’m a… Palpatine?” Then, after a moment she said, “My parents died for me!” her eyes filled with tears, “All this time I thought they left me behind willingly. They didn’t! They didn’t!” Bending over she began to cry. Kylo pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as her body was wracked by sobs. He murmured apologies into her hair. Eventually, Rey stilled, pulling herself together.

“How can you serve him? You know what he did to my parents… I’ve seen the way you feel about me.” The change in her countenance surprised Kylo.

“I don’t serve him. I could never have a master after Snoke.” It was Rey’s turn to be surprised.

“But I thought…”

“No. You saw it, Rey. You _saw_ what Snoke did to me. After I killed him it was like the spell he had cast over me since childhood had been broken. I would never willingly place myself at another’s mercy again. No, Rey. No. But I’m a pragmatist. If he can help me achieve my destiny and fulfil my purpose then I will use him, just like he thinks he can use me,” Kylo answered. Rey nodded once, clasping his hand more firmly.

“Was it him… did he have your mother killed?” she gulped.

“No. That was Hux. But I’ve dealt with him,” Kylo said gravely.

“What did you do…? Kylo?” she had an idea but she didn’t want to think that he had taken a life for his mother. That was something the dark side would want, not something Leia would have wanted. She thought of Leia sadly, wishing her master was still with them. The grief welled up inside of her, threatening to drown her. This was followed by anger that Leia’s life had been cut short by no less than a snivelling worm like Hux. Kylo felt her mix of emotions, allowed it to wash over him and mingle with his own. _Rey, close your eyes. Open the bond, let me show you something._ He showed her what he had done to Hux, the words he had shouted at Hux echoed as the memory ended. She seemed shaken, then he felt that something dark within her was satisfied.

“Good.” Was all she said then. It surprised Kylo once more. Rey had more darkness in her than he had thought, but he wasn’t sure if he was glad about it, which confused him more than ever. _Ben._ He heard her in his head. _You have good in you. Just like I have some darkness in me. Now I know where it comes from… my grandfather._

Rey stood and walked over to the balustrade at the edge of the terrace. She ran her hands along it, thinking about everything that had transpired since Leia had left her. She knew Kylo could hear her thoughts, but he said nothing. He came to stand behind her, putting his arms around her, drawing her flush against him. Maker! She would never tire of feeling his touch, feeling how much he wanted her. He knew everything about her, knew the worst, had seen the light in her too and he still wanted her.

She didn’t trust herself, the happiness that had begun to bloom in her chest hurt. Was it so wrong to want to be part of a family? Become his family? She was afraid that if she stayed much longer she wouldn’t be able to leave him. She’d go with him, willingly do anything he asked of her, even if it went against her strong moral compass. He was gazing out at the lake, his face clear of emotion, but his eyes carried the weight of the galaxy.

“I know,” he said simply, and again, “I know.” 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She needed to be alone, she needed… to be sure. 
> 
> When she reached her room what felt to her like an eternity later, she quickly sat down, cleared her mind, and reached into the Force. 
> 
> She opened her eyes in shock. She hadn’t imagined it! There was a life growing inside her, she was pregnant!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think we've all been waiting for this lol, Rey is preggers. 
> 
> I didn't expect this chapter to be so bloody hard to work through, I mean it's a Reylo baby for crying out loud and it's freaking #goals!!! But... we've been trying to get pregnant for 6 years now. I've pretty much learnt to get on with my life and not focus on it. Seriously, all my friends have had/are having children and I'm used to people around me getting pregnant and being more fine with it than not. So I honestly didn't expect this to hit me so squarely in the chest, it really caught me off guard. 
> 
> But, I'm still really glad Rey's going to have her own little family, yay! Sorry for all the tmi about my personal life, but yeah

* * *

Some weeks had passed since their _encounter._ Rey thought about it whenever she had a moment to herself and often longed for Ben’s touch, his breath, his heart, his… Rey smiled to herself, blushing a little. She still had concerns and doubts about what had happened on Naboo and she knew that, given the role each of them had to play, they would likely never get the chance again. She wished there was a way to see him again, not just through the force but _in person,_ be in the same place.

They had tried making love several times when the bond had connected them, but not only did they have to be quite careful and they often got interrupted, but the bond always closed too soon and then Rey would be left disappointed, having to finish the job herself. This also had an effect on Kylo. She saw that it frustrated him even more, she didn’t know why or really understand, but she sensed that he would lean in more to the dark side after each time things didn’t work out. One night when the force connected them again, Rey decided to ask him why it bothered him so much.

“My sweet Rey,” Kylo said softly as she appeared in his quarters. Since their union they had become able to open the connection at will but they could not keep it open, it was like the Force was always reminding them that they were apart. He immediately stood up and embraced her tenderly, kissing her achingly, the only person she would ever allow or want to be that close to her. It felt like they were one.

He was different from the Kylo of old. She hardly saw that side of him anymore, she also hardly saw him outside of his quarters and when she did, he excused himself quickly.

“Ben, I missed you!” She said lovingly once their lips parted, this had become so familiar to her, so right, she couldn’t help but wish again that they were together in reality,

“Soon, sweetheart” he said with a smile on his face.

“Hey, not fair!” she retorted, “you promised you would stop doing that!” Oh how she loved his smile. “Ben, we have to talk,” Rey said, suddenly very serious.

“What’s wrong? Do you need help, must I…” he started in earnest. She silenced him, putting her index finger on his mouth and giving him _that look,_ the one he only received when she was annoyed.

“Please, Ben…” she rolled her eyes playfully. Ben sat down,

“Rey, what is it?” he asked, giving her his full attention.

Rey knew asking this might be difficult, “Every time we’ve tried to… the Force pulls us apart before we can... Well, y…you know…” she blushed profusely. Ben smiled at her,

“You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed” he rubbed her back slowly.

Rey ignored him and continued. If she didn’t ask now she might lose her courage, “After every attempt I could feel your pull to the dark side getting stronger. Ben, I’m worried that you’re going down a path I can’t follow,” she paused briefly and he could see sadness in her eyes, “I know I can’t stop you, I just want to know… why?” She whispered, “I am so afraid…”

Ben was taken aback at this question and by the look on her face he could see she really was afraid and he didn’t like seeing her this way, it lit a primal urge in him to protect her.

He took a deep breath trying to find the words to explain this to her, they never came easily to him, even at the best of times. “Well… I think it has to do with what you do to me” he began.

Rey interrupted before he could finish, “Oh, no! I knew it! I’m hurting you…” before she could finish her sentence he pulled her onto his lap.

“Sweetheart, please let me finish, this isn’t easy for me… Before you, before us… my only companions were fear, anger and hatred, this is all very _new_ to me.” Rey nodded. “Like I was saying,” he started explaining, “When… it… happens, I feel inadequate, I feel frustrated, I feel like I was denied what we share and it overwhelms me. I haven’t been able to control the way I feel when you’re so cruelly ripped from me in the moment.”

Rey expected many things but this… this meant that he really cared for her, maybe he… maybe he... she stopped herself from thinking it. “Well, until you’re able to control what you feel, as much as I want to… I don’t think we should go there. I couldn’t bear losing you now, Ben.”

“But…” Ben started to protest.

“You misunderstand me,” Rey responded sternly, “This is not a negotiation! I will not lose you, I will not be the one who caused you to fall completely and then have to strike you down!” Her voice quivered, “That would kill me.”

“I understand,” he said. It dawned on him that he meant so much to her that she would forego the pleasure of _being_ with him if it would cause her to lose him.

She closed her eyes and then with excitement jumped up, “Maybe meditating together might help make our bond stronger, help you deal with things,” The force bond cut unexpectedly and Kylo was left alone in his chair. The loss he felt every time they parted was torture, he felt like the Force was punishing him for all his past doings.

“Training,” he muttered in a strained voice, leaving his quarters immediately, as was his custom when he felt this way.

_____________________

Rey surveyed the flurry of activity on the base. Leia’s death had served as a catalyst, daily they garnered more support and their ranks were bolstered by new recruits. Rey looked up at the Mon Calamari cruisers in orbit and thought, _Master, even in death you continue to help us._

Rey turned away and went to a quiet clearing nearby to meditate, she wanted to centre herself before Finn arrived. He had decided that he wanted to become a Jedi and after, some preliminary tests, it was clear that he was more than capable of becoming one. Rey was nervous and wanted to prepare, she’d never been someone else’s instructor. As soon as Finn approached, they skipped the niceties and got straight to it. 

Finn was surprisingly eager to start his training considering how he had first felt about it. He would tell anyone willing to listen how he, a lowly stormtrooper, would be a Jedi. But that excitement seemed to wane after the first hour of training.

“Rey, why are we just sitting here on the floor?” He complained, “I thought you were going to teach me to be a Jedi…” Rey opened her eyes and responded,

“I am.” She closed her eyes and continued to focus, “Close your eyes, Finn” she instructed. “Reach out, focus – feel the Force. Can you feel it?” she asked.

“Y…Yes, I can feel it” he replied, rather astonished. Finn opened his eyes, “I don’t understand, Rey, why is this so important?” Rey smiled and, as Leia had explained to her, Rey began to explain to Finn in a strong, clear voice,

“The Force lives in us and is all around us. In order to use the Force, you need to feel it, you need to know you are part of it. Without understanding this, you will not be able to use it effectively.”

“Rey, but you just… used it,” he said rather frustrated with her.

“Yes, Finn, and I almost got lost to the dark side. I want us to do this right, just trust me,” she said.

Given the extra hands on base, Poe allowed Finn to train every day. It took Finn a few days, but he managed to manipulate the force eventually while Rey continued to teach him diligently. She had found it tough teaching another in the ways of the Force, but simultaneously it made her feel closer to Leia and she felt, in this too, she was honouring her memory.

______________

One morning everything changed.

The morning had started like any other morning. Finn’s training was progressing well and they had started with Force meditation, followed by control of objects. As Rey reached into the Force, she felt a disturbance. The world came to a screeching halt - she felt another life force inside herself. In shock, she shot up, ”Finn…! I… I need to go. You’ll have to train without me today.” 

She practically ran all the way to her room. She needed to be alone, she needed… to be sure. When she reached her room what felt to her like an eternity later, she quickly sat down, cleared her mind, and reached into the Force. She opened her eyes in shock. She hadn’t imagined it! There was a life growing inside her, she was pregnant! She smiled and tears of joy rolled down her face. She would have a family, she would never be alone again! And Ben… Ben was going to become a father!

She sat there for a moment lost in her thoughts, holding her still flat belly. She was overcome with joy! Then, she heard a voice,

“Hi Rey” startled, she looked up, it couldn’t be Leia! Rey quickly got to her feet and exclaimed, “Leia! Is it really you? I thought you… What are you doing here?”

“Rey,” answered Force Ghost Leia, “I have come to you because you are facing a new challenge and I came to offer you some guidance for the road ahead. Congratulations by the way,” Leia smiled. “I only wish I could be there to see the child grow up. I knew you two needed to connect but I never expected you to connect so… quickly” Leia said smugly. Rey blushed and Leia laughed, “It’s okay Rey. You and Ben are one in the Force, you’re a couple. In fact, you’re wed through the Force and this was bound to happen sooner or later,” Leia shrugged, “You have nothing to be ashamed of, on the contrary, your union is a beautiful thing, it is the solace and family you and Ben have both been searching for.”

Rey instinctively touched her stomach. She could not see the child but she could feel its life force.

“Rey, you face a choice, my dear.” With that, the room faded and Rey was in a vision. She saw two paths diverging in front of her. There was one where she knew she had a life with her family, she didn’t know if Ben was there or not, that depended on him, but she would have her child… but… the sacrifice she had to make was that she had to leave the Resistance.

The second path felt dark and cold. She didn’t see Ben and she got the sense that he was not there and that her child was a slave of the dark side. A slave to…. the emperor…

When Rey came to she was on the floor crying softly, alone, ”No! No! Anything but that!” She was suddenly exhausted and crawled into her bed. She slept for the rest of the day.

_______________

When Rey awoke she focused and still felt the little life inside her and knew that it wasn’t all a dream. There was so much to do and so little time, she sighed wearily. She immediately set off to find Poe and found him at the main strategic holo table in the centre of the command room.

“Morning, Rey, how are you doing?” Poe asked with a big smile.

“Poe, can we speak privately please” her voice conveyed the urgency of the conversation she needed to have with him.

“Please excuse us,” Poe said to the other commanders, “I’ll be back shortly.” Once they were alone in the corridor, she gathered her courage and said,

“Poe… I need to leave… and I need Finn and Chewbacca to come with me in the Falcon.”

“Why Rey? Why do you need to leave so urgently?” Poe was truly floored.

Rey dodged the true reason, another answer at the ready, “We’ll be going to Ach-to. It’s safe and isolated. You see, there’s a strong connection to the Force there and it will allow me to focus on training Finn so that he is ready for the fight to come.”

Poe was silent for some time, Rey wondered if her was going to refuse. Then, reluctantly, he agreed. He knew that two Jedi were better than one and he needed every bit of help he could get.

Rey didn’t waste any time. She set off down the corridor to let Finn know and started to prepare everything for the journey ahead. She was acutely aware of the risks.

________________

The next morning, the trio bid farewell to the Resistance and made their way to Ach-to. Rey went to go lie down once they entered hyperspace as she was feeling a little tired. _I hope it’s not going to be like this all the time,_ she thought, not realising that it would get much worse. When she felt better, she knew she could not put it off for much longer. She reached into the force and her heart’s longing appeared before her. Ben was in his training room glistening with sweat. He lunged at the nearest training droid one last time before stopping the programme. She couldn’t help but admire his agility and his rippling muscles as he blocked and countered, swiftly dispatching his opponent. She felt her courage wane. She couldn’t break his heart, she was afraid she would lose him and she could not bear a life without her _husband._ Husband?! She was shocked at what she had just thought. There was no getting away from it. He was her other half and she was carrying his child, a physical expression of their love.

Ben turned to face her, “Sweetheart!” he said and she felt her defences melt. She needed to protect their child and, as far as possible, her husband. Everything depended on it.

“Ben… I need to talk to you,” her voice was filled with urgency and sadness. “This is going to be tough…” She bit her lip, then continued, “I’m going away for a while. I… I need to focus on training Finn, he has shown that he’s more than capable of becoming a great Force user,” she looked away, “We’ve left the resistance. I’ll contact you as much as I can, but for my safety and…” she swallowed heavily, “Yours… please don’t try to find me. I don’t want the emperor to use our connection against us.”

Ben wanted to argue. He felt through the Force bond that she was scared, he could feel that she thought she was doing the right thing. He walked over and embraced her. He could feel the weight of this decision in her. He wanted to fight it, fight her, scream at her, scream at the unfairness of the Force.

He pulled her away from him to look into her eyes.

“Rey… I can keep you safe! Together, we’ll be safe, I promise you!”

“Oh Ben. _Ben_. It’s not that! There are things more powerful, even than us together. You’ve seen Palpatine. I’ve had a vision… I’ve seen what he’s capable of and if I don’t do this… if we don’t do this… I’m scared we won’t have a future together.” She leaned her forehead against his chest. “All I feel is fear. It feels like I’m drowning in it!” Ben held her then and said into her hair,

“I know I’m a monster, Rey. No, let me speak,” he said as Rey swiftly tried to move from his embrace to speak, “I’m a monster but you’ve always known that… Rey, I know how monsters work because I am one. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Nothing will get you because I’ve already got you,” he suddenly realised that he might be frightening her more. He felt like a fool. “Forget what I said. I just,” he sighed, “I can’t lose you now, Rey. I need you…” Rey felt the longing and fear in him. It almost matched her own, but there was so much more at stake now. This was no longer about them, she had to do this.

“Oh my darling,” the tears began to course down her face. She was so tired of crying all the time. She wished her emotions weren’t so easily stirred. “You’re not a monster to me! That’s not the real you,” she looked up into his eyes, winding her arms around his neck. Then she kissed him with all the pent up love, longing and desire she had for him. He knew there was no way he could stop Rey from doing this, he had to trust her. This wasn’t forever. This was temporary… he knew this wouldn’t be the last time he said this to himself.

“Promise me you’ll let me know you’re safe from time to time,” he urged.

_Of course_ she said softly through the bond. She allowed herself to feel it this time… and think it. Rey loved him. Then, with one last look, she closed the connection.

Long after Rey had departed, leaving him behind once again, Kylo closed his eyes and said firmly aloud, “I love you too, Rey. It will be my undoing.” 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo finds out the enormity of the Emperor's plans - he must be stopped. It would also appear that the Emperor may know about Rey and Kylo, forcing Kylo to play it cool. This ultimately also means that Kylo has to kill a friend.
> 
> Kylo finds out about Rey's pregnancy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a nice long chapter for once :D It's actually quite an important one as it sets the scene for where the plot is going, and sets up Kylo/Ben's redemption arc. This chapter explains things that should've been explained in the end scenes of TROS (like where the hell all those ships came from on Exegol).
> 
> We've been binge watching SW all weekend and we're finally at TROS and lemme tell you I'm kinda dreading watching it (I'm still feeling really bitter about it), but I've only seen it once and there might be some important facts that we're missing. 
> 
> Also, it might be tomorrow by the time some of you read this, so May the 4th be with you all!

* * *

A few days had passed since Kylo last saw Rey. He tried not to think about her, throwing himself into his work.

“Supreme Leader, the emperor requests an audience with you,” General Kelthar’s voice came through over his comm.

“Noted, General, please patch him through to my personal holo net.” Kylo instructed.

“I’m sorry sir… he requested that you meet him in person.” The General responded rather hesitantly.

“Thank you Kelthar, Please prepare my ship.” Kylo found Kelthar to be much more bearable to be around, tolerable even, which made for a nice change. Kylo surveyed what was left of the First Order after their battle on Crait, the strike force was significantly weakened but he still had a fleet. _I might have to call on them for war much sooner than I anticipated_ , he thought.

Kylo was distinctly aware of the darkness that engulfed Exegol, more so than before, he couldn’t explain it, but it was… different, which was not good. 

Upon his arrival, he could feel the presence of the emperor before he saw him. A mass of hatred and anger.

“Lord Ren, you disappoint me! I sent you to find the girl, not lose her! Do not fail me again or it will be your last!” This reminded him of Snoke and he wanted to strike the emperor down. “I sense your murderous intent, Lord Ren, good. It will serve you well, it makes you strong!” The emperor’s voice echoed across the cold, dark chamber. “Now, I have already dispatched my knights to find my new vessel, seeing as you are incapable,” his voice dripped with vitriol and, without warning, he hit Kylo with a bolt of lightning, “I DO NOT TAKE FAILURE WELL! THE NEXT TIME WILL BE YOUR LAST!” he thundered.

The room went black and all that Kylo felt was intense pain, pain unlike he had ever felt before. When Kylo awoke he was in a modest but well-lit room, much like the medbay on the Finalizer, which he had had the privilege of visiting on occasion when Snoke had tortured him or when he had trained too hard. Then he saw that there was a regally dressed Tortuga female Acolyte wearing a red and yellow floor length Sith tunic in the room.

“Lord Ren, I am Lady Paiyne.” She smiled coyly, “The emperor instructed me to show you the extent of our operations before taking you to receive your next task. Before that, might I interest you in some of the other… delicacies which I have been instructed to offer you Lord Ren?” She was clearly insinuating offering herself up for sex. Before Kylo could protest, the Acolyte had taken off her robe and was only in her under garments. This took Kylo by surprise but he had no interest in any other woman but Rey.

“No thank you,” he bit out, averting his eyes while he waited for the woman to dress.

“As you wish, Lord Ren,” she replied flatly. They then proceeded with the tour.

Kylo held his composure, but inside his thoughts were a mess. He was worried that the emperor had read his mind and knew about his deep emotional connection with Rey… his love for Rey… Why else would he be tempted like this? Surely it had to be a test. He pushed the thought aside, telling himself, _what matters now is that I act as if nothing is wrong._

Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw next. He had heard stories of the size of the imperial fleet and had studied the Clone Wars when he was at school, but never in his life had he actually seen an operation of this scale. It seemed like the Sith Eternal had constructed massive production lines underneath Exegol’s surface, much like Starkiller Base. He had not realised that this planet was a gigantic base preparing for war. It became clear that, in comparison, the First Order was a joke in light of what the emperor had planned. There were rows and rows of ships being constructed, everything from cruisers to star destroyers.

“You can see that under the leadership of our mighty emperor the Sith Eternal has grown stronger than it was ever before” Lady Paiyne said in a matter of fact tone. Kylo only nodded in response, careful to keep his emotions in check and his expression stoic. He toured the facility and saw that there were thousands of ships, the Sith Eternal was nearing readiness for all-out war, a war that would decimate the known galaxy. Palpatine didn’t want order, he wanted to rule with an iron fist and he would destroy anyone who stood in his way.

His thoughts were interrupted by Lady Paiyne’s voice and a stranger approaching them, “Lord Ren, I would like to introduce you to General Enrich Pryde. He will be in charge of the fleet once it is complete. General, I believe you have a demonstration for us,” she continued.

General Pryde agreed with a short stiff nod of the head, and said, “Follow me.” Kylo passed through many sections of the planet as they went from level to level and turbolift to turbolift. The sheer scale of this _base,_ for lack of a better word, was astronomical, much larger than Starkiller Base.

“General are we ever going to get there? This is a waste of my precious time,” Kylo drawled, clearly annoyed with the time it was taking. He was also uncomfortably aware that he was nothing more than a _guest,_ completely powerless _._ The General did not answer him. Eventually, they came to a hangar, “Ah. Here we are, Lord Ren,” General Pryde said smugly. “The emperor has given you an Executor-class Star dreadnought fitted and ready to leave. I will accompany you off Exegol and then you are free to join your fleet.”

Kylo was amazed at the sheer size of the ship and the hanger as there were many of these dreadnaught classes stored in this hangar.

“General Pryde how is my ship to leave the surface of Exegol? Won’t the gravitational field cause a ship of this size to crash?” Kylo asked, intrigued.

“No, Lord Ren. Exegol has a unique gravitational pull and we can use the guiding beacons to get your ship safely off the planet and into orbit.” General Pryde continued his explanation, “Your ship and all the other dreadnaught class star destroyers are equipped with a class 1 hyperdrive, titanium-reinforced hull, more than 5,000 turbolaser and ion cannon batteries, not to mention concussion missile tubes.” General Pryde pointed at the armaments on the ship from the platform on which they were standing. “Defensively, this ship is a powerhouse as well, with bridge deflector shields as well as a complement of thousands of starships, including TIE starfighters, TIE bombers, and TIE interceptors.”

“Excellent,” Kylo said absentmindedly, “Tell me, when will it be ready to leave general?” 

“As soon as the emperor is done with you, Lord Ren.” The General replied coldly.

To his utmost frustration, Kylo had to endure a full tour of the facility and, albeit impressive, he was all too familiar with the goal of such actions, to impress and strike fear. What he found most interesting was the cloning facility, the likes of which no one had seen since the Clone Wars. It became apparent to Kylo that the emperor had not left anything to chance this time. Kylo could not help but be impressed at the sheer scale of the Emperor’s ambition. The facility contained everything necessary for the Sith empire to blockade, fight and invade all the planets in the known galaxy within a matter of weeks from deployment.

After this, for Kylo’s benefit, a weapons test was conducted of the main artillery battery that was going to be installed on all the cruisers. Kylo was impressed, it made short work of anything and everything it was used on. General Pryde turned to Kylo, “You see, Lord Ren, with these new cannons we will easily outgun any resistance we encounter. If calibrated correctly, these new cannons can even destroy planets,” his eyes filled with murderous intent. The tour took the rest of the day and Kylo began to feel frustrated, more than that, he felt like the dark side was affecting him - he constantly felt the anger, hatred and fear of the dark side.

That evening, Kylo struggled to sleep. Whenever he fell asleep he was troubled by nightmares. He saw Rey being murdered by Palpatine. He saw Rey striking him down. He saw Rey yelling at him that she knew he hated her, she was a fool to ever love him and she never wanted to see him again. He saw her stuck on the other side of an airlock and no matter what he did he could not save her, the Force wouldn’t come, the door panel would not function. She got sucked into space and he would watch her freeze to death, her face contorted in agony, her eyes filled with betrayal. Then he heard Rey’s voice in his mind, _Why did you betray me Ben?! I loved you! We trusted you!_ This was followed by her crying out in sheer agony, then nothing, she was gone….

Then he was back on that bridge on Starkiller Base. He saw his father. He saw his father’s face and the betrayal in his eyes as he plunged the lightsaber through his father’s heart. Kylo shot up. His body was covered in sweat, his mind tortured by the dreams, the dark side relishing in the torture he was experiencing.

He got up and decided that he needed to go train, he needed to feel numb. He didn’t like what this planet was doing to him, it made him feel helpless like the days when Snoke was in his head. It didn’t take long for him to find the training area where the stormtroopers were sparring. He didn’t intend to spar with lethal intent, but they were only clones which did make him feel better.

_______________

The following morning, Kylo was summoned to see the Emperor again, “Lord Ren, I hope you now understand the futility of disobeying me. I am the dark side! I am the Sith! I am the rightful ruler of all the galaxy and I will not be stopped!” He paused for effect, then called out, “Bring out the prisoner.” Kylo fought hard to keep his emotions in check, it was Ap’lek, one of the Knights of Ren. “You see boy, your knights now serve me and I don’t take weakness or failure kindly. If it wasn’t for your lineage and your connection in the Force, I would have killed you already!” He growled menacingly

The emperor pointed at Ap’lek, “He failed me. I will show you what will happen to you, Lord Ren, if you fail me again.” The emperor said coldly.

“No!” Kylo replied despite himself. The emperor raised his hand and started Force chocking Kylo,

“YOU DARE DEFY ME?!” He yelled.

“No…ughhrrgh… Emperor, I just thought you would prefer that I deal with _him_ ” Kylo barely managed to get out.

“Yes! Give in to your anger, Lord Ren, strike him down!” The emperor bellowed, letting go of Kylo immediately. Kylo walked over to Ap’lek, cut his bonds with his saber and requested one of the Sith Eternal Acolytes’ sabers. He moved and gave it to his friend. Ap’lek knew that this was an act of mercy. He was going to die and he would rather die a swift death at the hand of his former master and friend than a long painful death at the hand of the Emperor. Kylo was still protecting him the best way he could, just as he had done when they were training with Snoke. The two men gave each-other a silent nod, a goodbye of sorts, and the battle ensued. The men immediately locked sabers, the dark room was illuminated by an eerie red glow. They had to make this look good or the emperor would surely kill Kylo too Ap’lek thought to himself. 

“I might not live to see another day, but I will make you pay, Lord Ren!” Ap’lek yelled. He jumped back and swung his saber at Kylo’s head. Kylo ducked. He knew Ap’lek was making this as convincing as he could and he would not let his sacrifice be in vain.

Kylo spun around, arcing his saber across the mid-section of his opponent. Ap’lek just barely managed to block the attack, staggering backwards from the sheer impact of the blow. Ap’lek quickly and widely swung back, blow after blow making contact with Kylo’s saber, not finding an opening. The wild attacks left Ap’lek exhausted and wide open to attack. Kylo knew this was it. He brought the blade to bear and stabbed Ap’lek in the heart. Kylo winced on the inside as he heard Ap’lek’s lifeless body hit the floor. _I’m sorry, old friend_ , he thought. He sheathed his saber and turned to the emperor.

“Good!” the emperor roared “GOOD!” his voice then crackling with laughter that was cut short, “Lord Ren, fail me again and you will meet your end like this worthless sack of slime.” The emperor gave Kylo his new instructions without another thought to the dead man on the throne room floor. “I have another job for you. I need you to continue rooting out the resistance and subjugating planets. Those who resist must be destroyed. How you do it, I don’t care, but I need you to distract the resistance from our true goal here.”

“As you wish,” Kylo replied.

“Lord Ren, you have seen your ship, it is ready for your departure,” the emperor said coldly.

Kylo departed without a further word.

Once in orbit, Kylo gave the command to set a course for Jedha to rendezvous with _his_ fleet. En route, he decided to inspect his new quarters to take stock of inventory and strategise. He didn’t trust anyone on this ship as they were loyal to the Sith Eternal, but he trusted his own troops. He did the numbers and noted that if he consolidated the troop compliment of his two Resurgent class star destroyers - the Finalizer and Savage Dawn, which contained the troops from his original strike group, it would work, he trusted them more than Palpatine’s clones.

Once done, he took a moment to take in the surroundings, he never really cared much for material things, wealth and status. However, these quarters were significantly nicer than his quarters on the Finalizer. The bed was twice the size, the room had an efficiency about it and his desk was better laid out, _being the supreme leader has its perks_ , he smirked to himself.

Sorting out the logistics was tiring and Kylo decided to call it a night. He decided that he needed to take a shower and thought this is as good a time as any to try out the refresher. Despite everything being extremely efficient and militaristic in feel and layout. The quarters really made a difference to his demeanour, it gave him space to think, which was something he had not had since his childhood on Coruscant. Kylo had just gotten ready for bed when he heard his grandfather’s voice,

“You’ve gotten an upgrade, nice!”

“Hi Grandfather” Kylo said unenthusiastically. “I suppose you’ve come to impart wisdom again” he all but rolled his eyes. Kylo couldn’t think of anything he wanted to do less, he just wanted to sleep.

“Listen here, my boy, I have come to warn you, this is bigger than just you! I don’t have to be here, you know… Would you rather speak to your uncle? Hmmm?” Anakin said with a hint of a smile.

“Sorry, Grandfather, I just have a lot on my mind, it’s complicated and I’m exhausted!” Kylo responded respectfully.

“I know, anything involving Darth Sideous is complicated, and trust me, he always wins when you play his game. Remember, for many years I was his right hand, his slave and he used me until there was nothing left of me,” he said in a serious tone, “He was in my head, goading me. He moulded my thoughts since I was a young Jedi and it cost me everything, including who I was!”

Anakin looked more serious than Kylo had ever seen him, and said, ”I need to warn you, Grandson, don’t underestimate him, he is shrewd, intelligent and extremely dangerous. He only cares about himself, he hasn’t a shred of humanity left. He is the embodiment of the dark side.”

Kylo looked at his grandfather, concern lining his features, and asked, “But what can I do? I have made my choice, how do I know what is the truth, and what is a lie? I am not a Jedi anymore and I will never be… I have disappointed everyone… I KILLED MY FATHER AND I CAUSED MY MOTHER’S DEATH!” He yelled, filled with anguish, his eyes filled with regret, “All I have left is… is bringing order to the galaxy!” Kylo fell to his knees he felt the full weight of all his actions and it felt unbearable. He needed Rey in this moment.

“Ben, listen to me,” Anakin said firmly, Kylo looked up but couldn’t bring himself to say anything. “You deserve to be happy, but going about it in a selfish way will lead to terrible things. The visions and futures you have seen have been planted in your head. They are lies, you need to find the truth for yourself. You cannot tell anyone where you are going, not even Rey,” he said sternly. Anakin smiled as if he read Kylo’s mind, “I know, my boy, you love her and you would sacrifice anything for her, but she is your soul mate and your actions could lead to her demise. So, for now, do what will be best for her, not you.”

“But, Grandfather, I will never be a Jedi again…” Ben said with resignation again.

Anakin placed his hand on his shoulder, “In time you will understand, my boy, but the future is in your hands. Go to Lothal and find the answers you so desperately seek. I believe in you,” he said and disappeared.

Ben was exhausted and crawled into bed, too tired to absorb everything that he had heard.

He awoke to the commlink buzzing. “Lord Ren, we have arrived at Jedha and the rest of the fleet are holding in orbit above the moon.” Kylo got up quickly and responded to the disembodied voice,

“Get a shuttle ready, I need to urgently speak to General Kelthar, notify him that I want to see him.” Kylo boarded the brand new Lamda class T-4a imperial shuttle. He could see that this would be its first real flight, the landing gear didn’t have a single scratch on it and the interior still looked pristine. Kylo ordered the assigned lieutenant on the flight deck to authorise departure immediately. Kylo didn’t know where this would lead, but he needed to find the truth, not the Jedi truth, not the Emperor’s truth, he needed to find his own truth. He felt compelled to do this, but before he could set off on the trip, he needed to take a gamble.

The shuttle landed on the Finalizer and he gave the order to send the shuttle back to the Executioner along with the fresh _recruits_. The general was waiting for him in the hangar bay, “General, we have a new mission, please follow me to the ready room.” Kylo said monotonically. The men walked briskly without saying another word. Kylo was aware that Kelthar was a more than apprehensive about this meeting. In that moment, he wished that he had his mother’s penchant for talking and putting people at ease. When they entered the room, Kylo asked Kelthar to ensure that the room was secure, he wasn’t going to take any chances.

Once the room was secured, Kelthar got right to the facts and provided a detailed and direct report on what had transpired in Kylo’s absence. Kylo had begun to admire this man, he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders, kept matters brief and was direct. When Kelthar had finished the debriefing, he moved to excuse himself, this was Kylo’s opportunity.

“General, please wait, I want to ask you a question,” Kylo asked in a calm and seemingly relaxed tone. It even surprised Kylo. His focus on what he had to do and the clarity of it brought him closer to peace. It was a strange sensation, one he hadn’t felt since he was a little boy.

General Kelthar turned without saying a word, waiting for Kylo to speak.

“General, why do you follow me? What motivates you to fight for the First Order?” These questions clearly surprised the man. Kelthar thought a bit and then responded,

“Well, sir, since my promotion to general of our armed forces, I have had the opportunity to work closely with you and observe your character…” he paused briefly, “I follow you because, despite your reputation, in your own way, you are honourable. You believe in being direct and the manner in which you conduct yourself shows great determination to achieve our goal. I might not always agree,” at this Kylo saw the General become nervous, but he did not stop speaking, “on the methods of warfare employed and how to approach a situation, but I believe that your motives, like mine, are to restore order to the galaxy.”

Kylo took in what the man had said and he knew that if this had been a younger Kylo before this man, he would probably have cut the man to pieces. But not anymore, he saw the necessity of this man and the situation. If he were to find out the truth, if he were to find his place in the universe, whatever that may be… he needed answers uncorrupted by others; he needed to go to Lothal as his grandfather had instructed him.

“General, I appreciate your candour,” he began, supressing the beginnings of a wry grin, “Given the nature of what I have to discuss with you, I would appreciate it if you allowed me to look into your mind and verify what you just said.” A look of surprise came and went across the General’s face. Kylo went on with his explanation regardless, “I apologise for this, General, but I need to be sure, what I need to share with you is of vital importance to the First Order.”

General Kelthar silently agreed, and Kylo soon discovered that despite the man’s fear of him, what he had said was surprisingly the absolute truth. “Thank you, General” Kylo said calmly once he completed the mind probe. He began to pace as he spoke, “You see, the Emperor has asked us to continue distracting the rebellion and garner support from the outer rim planets or destroy them. I would like you to carry out this mission with a caveat, I would like you to start with the planets that we can subjugate quite easily, uninhabited planets, and then I would like you to thoroughly ‘search’ each planet for suspected rebellion threats and dissidents. Starting immediately, I further need you to amend crew rosters and appoint troops and officers to the executioner that are loyal to me and the First Order and once the crew compliment has been reached, please do the same so that we can isolate the troops that are loyal to the Emperor. I suspect that we might be pawns in his scheme and, once he has obtained what he seeks, we will be thrown to the wolves like fodder.”

General Kelthar was quite taken aback by this revelation, but, true to his character, he quickly sprang to action and fleshed out the details of the plan with Kylo. This took significantly longer than Kylo anticipated, but when they had finished he was satisfied with the course of action.

They would run mock rotation drills of the crews under the guise of achieving battle readiness and combat flexibility as a battle readiness exercise to ensure that all troops were familiar with the Executioner, this would allow Kelthar to rearrange troop regiments with little to no suspicion raised.

“General, one last thing,” Kylo said before dismissing the general, “Please get a ship ready. I need to make a journey to Lothal and if the emperor contacts the strike group looking for me, tell him that I have found a lead on a secondary rebel strike group and have gone to test my skills and bring honour to the Sith.”

Kelthar nodded. “Mind if I speak freely, Sir?” He asked. Kylo nodded. “Why are you taking this risk?”

“Well, General, I have a feeling that the emperor’s end game will be the end of us all. He has no intent to bring order to the galaxy,” Kylo said almost dryly. Kelthar bowed in respect and left without another word.

Kylo reviewed the star charts on the data available on Lothal. According to the Empire, they had destroyed the temple. He didn’t have a choice. Despite this intel, he had to risk it. His grandfather wouldn’t tell him to go there without a reason. He had to find out the truth, about himself, about what he was meant to do. Kylo got up and went to his quarters, he knew that he had promised Rey he wouldn’t contact her, but he didn’t know what the Force had in store for him… and if the Emperor found out he was disobeying him again….Kylo didn’t dare go there.

He cleared his mind, reached into the Force and opened the bond between himself and Rey. He had caught her unaware, she was busy teaching Finn lightsaber forms. By the looks of it, Leia had taught her well, her knowledge of Form 1 was excellent. There was something about watching her teach and the firm grasp of the Force and the air of peace and calm that she evoked that made his heart swell.

“IT’S HIM!” he heard a voice yell angrily. Shocked, Kylo saw FN-2187 charging him with an electroblade. He raised his hand and in an instant FN-2187 was rooted in his place. The look of shock on his face rather amused Kylo, that was until he heard Rey’s voice…

“Ben! What the hell are you doing!” Rey bellowed furiously “And _why_ are you here?”

Kylo shrugged sheepishly “Well, he was going to attack me… More importantly, why can I see him and he see me?”

Rey replied in an exasperated tone, “I don’t know. Must be the same as when Luke saw us in the hut on Ach-To. Will you let him go already?! I am not finding this amusing!”

“Fine, but if he tries to attack me again…” Kylo said. Kylo let Finn go.

Finn was furious, “Not cool man! Do you know what they did to me! What you put me through...?!” The anger and resentment in Finn was palpable.

Rey turned to Finn more ferociously than he had expected and proceeded to scold him, “Your connection to the force is magnified here and you are risking everything by giving in to your emotions. If you want me to continue teaching you, you need to learn to control your fears! I can send you back and we can stop the training, I am not teaching you so that you can fall to the dark side,” she shot a glance at Kylo and apologised briefly, “No offence,” Kylo was amused rather than offended. “Now go and meditate till I come and find you. We’ll talk about this at length later” she instructed Finn. Kylo saw that FN-2187 wanted to protest but realised that it was safer if he just left.

Once Finn had left, Rey focused on Kylo and demanded to know why he had contacted her. He had hoped that she would be happy to see him, but his sudden arrival had upset her instead.

“Rey, I opened the bond because I needed to confide in you before I leave, I am not sure where this will lead but what I know is that I have to go.” He got op and walked towards Rey. He had to be close to her, _this might be the last time I ever see her again_ , he thought.

Rey’s countenance changed immediately to concern, “What do you mean, Ben?” Kylo took her hands in his and told her everything that had transpired, as well as the visit from Anakin. He explained that he was going against the Emperor’s wishes to understand his role. When he finished, he was overcome by the need to hug Rey, have her close to him, just in case. Rey leaned in and kissed him tenderly. _Oh Force! How I love the soft feel of her lips, the intimacy and peace that I feel when I’m near her_ , he thought to himself. In the moment, as he bathed in her presence, he felt a life force inside her, the signature similar to Rey’s but somehow… not. When she pulled back after the kiss, Rey saw the dumbfounded look on Kylo’s face.

“Rey!... You’re… pregnant!” he blurted out. At first Rey was shocked, but her shock turned into the most wonderful smile he had ever seen. Her eyes were full of joy, “Yes, I am Ben. You’re going to be a Father.” He felt as if he had been hit by one of the Emperor’s lightning bolts. The shock was followed by fear for Rey and his unborn child. He looked at her stomach, which showed no outward signs of pregnancy yet. He closed his eyes and touched her stomach, he connected with the life force, their child. He felt unimaginable love, and the joy of it all transposed itself onto Ben’s face. Finally, he opened his eyes and looked at Rey.

“Rey, why didn’t you tell me?” his voice was tinged with hurt and regret.

“I was afraid that the Emperor could use us against you. Leia told me what happened to your grandfather and I didn’t want that to happen to you.” She replied sadly.

Kylo understood, in that moment he knew he would gladly give his life for his family. She had done the right thing. He knew she had.

“Rey, I have one request… please don’t shut me out because you’re afraid of losing me, you’re the only family I have left,” Kylo said softly placing his hand along Rey’s cheek. Rey kissed him again,

“I won’t, I promise” she said.

Kylo let go of Rey and said, “Rey, if I don’t see you again…” he almost stopped at the look on her face, “…know that I love you and our child! May the Force be with you,” with that he severed the bond.

Kylo leaned against the wall, his head reeling from the new development, _I’m going to be a father_ , he thought and pride and joy swelled in his heart. It felt strange, these were foreign emotions, emotions that he had forgotten he was capable of. He softly muttered as if to the Force itself, “Please protect them if this all goes wrong.”

With that he contacted General Kelthar on the comm, “General, is my ship ready?”

“Yes, sir” the disembodied voice came through.

“Good, I’ll leave at once,” Kylo responded and made his way hastily to Hangar 7. A lot depended on this trip, not just his life, but possibly that of his family as well.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo catch up (wink wink, nudge nudge), and the end of that section will be marked with "xx__________________xx" for those who want to skip ahead.
> 
> Finn has seen something about Rey and Kylo's child, he tries to tell Rey, but she won't listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I figured after all the angst and pulling Reylo apart twice (first when she found out about being preggers, then when Kylo found out she was preggers), it was time to take a brief break from that and add a little smut.  
> I also inserted a small reference to Rey's first mediation with Luke in TLJ, as well as a line from the wonderful SW Bad Lip-Reading song (see the link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9t-slLl30E); also, for the fun of it, if you haven't already, do yourself a favour and check out this one on The Force Awakens (Han Solo voiced by Mark Hamill): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv_hGITmNuo
> 
> I also saw THE MOST PERFECT meme online that fits this story 100% because it combines SW and The Phantom of The Opera (on which the title of this book is based). I'll put it down below.

* * *

Rey’s gently rounded stomach stretched as she washed her hair, wondering when she would see Ben again. It had been weeks since their last Force connection. The door to the refresher opened, Rey was about to shout to Chewie or Finn not to bother her when she saw who it was. She was so surprised that she breathed in a mouthful of water and started choking.

Ben rushed over to her and gently thumped her on the back, his shirt getting completely wet. When she could get her breath back, she choked out,

“Ben!... What are… you… doing here…?”

“I don’t know Rey,” he replied, “I… I was on my way to go to the…” He paused and looked around, “… I can’t actually remember,” he said, completely confused. Rey looked about her as well, although there wasn’t a refresher on Ach-To, there was one on the Falcon but it was small and only just functional, it certainly didn’t look like this though.

“Ben… I think we’re sharing a dream again,” she said in wonder. “We should both will ourselves to wake up,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut.

“No! Not yet sweetheart, please,” he begged her, taking her face in both hands. She opened her eyes and saw the longing in his. _Force how I miss you_ , she thought to him through the bond. Keeping one hand on her cheek, he placed the other reverently on her belly. 

_I miss you too, Rey,_ he replied. _Wow!_ Y _ou’re bigger than when I saw you last!_ He said, beaming down at her stomach.

 _Yes, it’s made doing everything so hard!_ She almost pouted up at him as she complained. He ran his thumb along her bottom lip, staring at it like it was an oasis in the desert.

 _Everything?_ He raised an eyebrow at this. Rey began to blush, but she didn’t turn away. Kylo began to shrug out of his clothing, his shirt being the first to go.

“Wait, Ben. I don’t want you to become… frustrated. We agreed we wouldn’t…” she almost seemed annoyed at having to remind him.

“Yes, but that was purely through our bond connection… I think dreams may be different. Well, it was definitely a longer connection the last time we shared a dream,” he reminded her. They both thought of just how much had changed since that night.

“A…Alright,” she stammered, almost shy. It had been months since their time on Naboo and it seemed like years.

Ben dipped his head low and kissed her. She parted her lips for him and their tongues began a primal dance as they feasted on each other. Rey was burning up and taking Ben with her as she raked her hands through his hair, tugging to bring him in closer. Somehow, the rest of his clothes came off and were cast off away from them.

He licked her throat as his hand moved down to her clit and he began massaging it in slow, rhythmic motions, then faster and faster. Rey moaned low and long. “ _Oh Ben!_ I’ve needed you for so long!” Suddenly and very unexpectedly, Rey climaxed. _Well that’s new!_ She thought, hardly able to take in how quickly she had come and the intensity of it… it had been much stronger than the other times he had made her come. It had to have something to do with pregnancy hormones she figured as she panted against him. He began to grin mischievously. _If I wasn’t so desperate for you right now I’d tell you to get your mind out of the gutter!_ She smirked. 

Ben backed her into a corner in the shower, _I’m going to really enjoy this._ He thought to her slowly, lingering on each word. She looked up at him hungrily, it spurred him to action. The shower water was running hot over them both as he hoisted her above his head, her thighs across his shoulders, framing his head. He began to eat her out as she gripped his head, groaning loudly,

 _I’m going to come, darling! I’m going to come in your mouth!_ Rey thought desperately, her eyes firmly closed.

Ben replied in a voice so low it was almost inhuman, _Yes, sweetheart, be a good little Jedi and come for me. I want to swallow it all, drink you in! Yes, baby, that’s it! Come harder. Grind against my face, pretend it’s my cock inside your tight walls!_

Rey exploded into his mouth and he swallowed every drop of it, sweetly kissing the inside of her thighs. He gently lowered her to her feet, her eyes were alight.

“My turn,” she said, making to get down on her knees in front of him.

“No, not like that, love. I want to be inside you.”

She nodded, then wondered how they could do it… Ben answered her by turning her around with her back to his chest. He began to massage her nipples as she arched back into him, gentling significantly when she told him how sensitive they were. He slid a hand down the side of her breast, her stomach and then her hip, all the while sucking and licking the hollow of her neck. He gently bent her forward to lean against the wall with her forearms as he slowly entered her from behind. The hot shower water pounded down on them, adding to the sensation. Rey came again as he entered her, marvelling once again at the intensity of the feeling. She was slick from her come, and it eased any pain she may have felt due to their long imposed celibacy. She began to moan his name, then began shouting her love for him.

“Kriff, Rey!” he moaned, “I’m not going to last long if you keep coming like this,” he managed to get out as fresh waves of her climax washed over him. He began to beat up into her at a punishing pace, hardly able to believe how incredible she felt, how tight she was, how many times she had climaxed.

“Ben!” She screamed, then she knew how she could level the playing field. She remembered the vision she’d had during their first time together, of them making love in a similar way. Ben saw her memory and the primitive lust they had both felt in the vision and began ramming into her, it wasn’t enough. He would never get enough of Rey. He brought her back up against his chest so that she was almost standing upright. Then, hands on her hips, he completely lifted her off the floor and brought her down onto his cock the way he needed to over and over again. Rey balanced herself with her hands against the shower wall, all she could think about was her husband filling her with his come. After his orgasm, they finished off by soaping each other down, then Rey shut the water off.

“Husband?” he queried, “I thought we weren’t married,” he grinned, thinking she was referring to their fantasy on Naboo.

“Um… actually… When I first realised I was pregnant, well, your mother appeared to me – I’m so sorry, things moved so fast, it completely slipped my mind, I’m so sorry Ben!” She added hastily.

“Ok…” Ben said in shock, “What did my mother say?”

“Well, she congratulated us, to begin with… I was quite embarrassed at her… implications… She said that we have nothing to be ashamed of, that it was only a matter of time before something happened between us. Ben, she said we’re married in the Force,” Rey said hesitantly, hoping Ben would be alright with it, that he wanted it too.

At first he said nothing, then he said, “You have nothing to worry about, Rey, sweetheart, it’s the best news I’ve had since the baby! I couldn’t be happier… wife,” he smiled his brilliant smile, which always made Rey weak at the knees.

Rey awoke feeling happier than she’d ever felt. More tired too, like she’d done the Kessel run with the Falcon, backwards. The happy feeling lingered, though, strengthened by the warm, solid love that she felt for Ben.

xx_________________xx

“Will you let me carry that, please?!” Finn asked, exasperated.

“I’m pregnant, not a kriffing invalid, you nerf herder!” Rey rolled her eyes at Finn as he took her bundle from her. He had become even more of a worry wart since she had revealed her pregnancy. He, of course, had objected to the identity of the father, knowing immediately it could have been no one else but Kylo Ren. He had tried to talk sense into Rey about keeping the child from Kylo, how Kylo would take the child from her and raise it in the dark side as his apprentice. He seemed to be trying to say other things too, but he realised Rey would not listen to him, and he did not want her to lock him out. He had, at last, promised to respect her feelings but he acted as if she had conceived the child by herself, refusing to refer to Kylo at all.

Sometimes, when Rey was alone in her hut and the wind blew especially hard, and the voices from the cave beneath the island whispered to her, Rey found herself tempted to wonder if Finn could be right. Surely Ben wouldn’t take their child from her? No. He would never do that to her. Then she would remember what had happened after he killed Snoke for her. She single-mindedly forced herself to focus on Ben’s face when he smiled. No. Ben would never do that to her. 

________________

Although she constantly reminded Finn that pregnancy was not a disability, around the fifth month, she began to definitely feel the effects of it. Her belly was decidedly pronounced, her breasts full and heavy, and her back hurt no matter whether she slept on the Falcon or the bunk in her hut, or the floor, for that matter. Another thing that drove her mad was the fact that she constantly had to interrupt her training with Finn to run to the refresher. She tried to keep her complaints to herself, Finn worried enough for the both of them. Every time she began to grouse to herself about the disadvantages of growing another life force, she would touch her stomach and connect with the child. She knew now that it was a boy, a little boy for Ben to play with, she smiled tenderly at the future she imagined for the three of them.

Finn had become so proficient with the lightsaber that he had almost completely competent in several of the forms. He had displayed a natural gift for fighting with a saber, something Rey had not foreseen having been knocked unconscious by Kylo Ren in the forest on Starkiller Base as Finn took Kylo on. However, moving objects through the Force was difficult for him, and meditating was his least favourite activity, he groaned every day when they began with it,

“Can’t we just skip it today? I can feel the Force in everything, I can see it flowing, I don’t need to meditate,” he would whine, “I would love to be able to float things about, but let’s face it, I’m never going to be able to stand on one hand and lift rocks with my special gift,” that one got Rey giggling.

“You’ll get it one day, Finn. You just need to practice… and meditate. Come on.” She walked in front of him, or in her mind, she waddled off to the mediation rock, settling herself uncomfortably on the rocky cliff top in front of him. 

Finn crossed his legs, scratching one peevishly and closed his eyes, focusing on the Force all around him.

“What do you see, Finn?” Rey asked in a serene voice.

“I see… the island. Life… Death…” Finn could barely contain himself at this point, “yeah… nope. Who talks like that?” He couldn’t supress his laughter any longer.

Rey was not impressed. Pregnancy had made her even more dangerous than usual. She sometimes fantasised about Force throwing him off the cliff, but not seriously. “Focus, Fin!” Force levitating off the rock above intimidating him with the power of the Force within her. This put an end to his laughter. He quietened down and began to focus in earnest. He centred himself in the Force, sensing the life signatures around him on the island. That was when he heard the voices, the ones that whispered to him in his sleep sometimes. He could never quite make out what they were saying, but sometimes it was almost like a child’s whimper, a feeble cry. He found himself shaking, remembering emotions he hadn’t experienced since childhood… but he couldn’t remember what had come before the First Order. He shied away from the darkness of it, the longing, grief, loneliness and anger that came with it. It was these voices that had shown him what Kylo intended to do with Rey’s child. He began to feel overwhelmed, like there was no hope and darkness was closing in on him.

Suddenly, Rey’s voice cut across his trance. “Finn! Resist the dark side! Don’t let it take you!” He came to, shaking all over and dripping with sweat. He could hardly catch his breath. He wanted to tell Rey what the voices had shown him, but he knew she would not hear it, not yet anyway.

“Finn, this will not be the last time the dark side reaches for you,” Rey warned him, “The stronger you become in the Force, the more you will feel its pull, but don’t be fooled. It can give you great power - I’ve felt it, but it is temporary and comes at a great cost,” she cautioned him. Rey gave Finn the rest of the day to rest and regain his composure, knowing that he would find Chewie and help him fix something… or just annoy him. But it was good, Chewie never lost his balance in knowing right from wrong. Finn could hardly spend his time worse off.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally grieves for her parents and deals with her guilt over what she thought they had done to her all those years ago. 
> 
> Kylo Ren travels to Lothar to find his own truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we brought in Matt the radar technician lol (this one's for you V!) Thanks for all the kudos and awesome comments! Over 2000 hits - you guys are all amazing! Force cookies for everyone! 
> 
> Also, here's a Porg. Hope it brightens up your day ;)  
> (drawing from the SW website)

* * *

It was another windy night on Ach-To. Rey had struggled to fall asleep, her little boy was kicking her over and over, she could feel his playful mood through the Force. She stroked her stomach tenderly with both hands, sending him her love and light through the bond, she could feel his little feet kicking against her hands in response, almost wilfully, she chuckled, he already had so much of his father in him. The wind died down for once, that was when she heard the voices whisper from the cave beneath the island. She was usually able to ignore them quite effectively, but tonight was different. She heard one voice above the other whispers, it almost sounded like the word “daughter”.

“No.” She said firmly. “You will not tempt me,” the voice grew louder and she wondered if it was her mother calling her from the beyond. She knew it wasn’t really possible. She decided the best way to quiet the voices would be to meditate, centre herself in the Force. She sat down on the floor, legs crossed at the ankles, and tried. Thoughts of her parents kept distracting her focus. She hadn’t given it much thought since Kylo had revealed what her grandfather had done to her parents, she hadn’t wanted to revisit it, it was still too raw. She knew then, this was why the voices were able to distract her so easily. She needed to grieve her parents and process the guilt she felt about what she had secretly thought they’d done all those years ago, despite her hope that they would return for her. She tried to picture what they might have looked like… faces came to her, a woman’s face with flowing brown hair, the same colour as Rey’s, but hers was longer and unbound, she had beautiful bone structure but nothing else about her was remarkable. The man had an intelligent face. He had a full beard and kind, hazel eyes. They both smiled, love lighting their faces. So… this is what she had really come from, they were good and they loved her. Truly loved her. Rey bent over as far as her stomach would allow and let the grief roll over her in waves. She did nothing to stop the low, throaty sounds she was making as she cried for the kind, loving and endlessly brave people who were her lineage. She would fully claim them, but never her grandfather. He was nothing to her. She felt the rage well up too, he had cut his own blood down, had not spared them. He had relished in their death! She wanted to cut him down, torture him! Pour molten lava down his throat so that he would die an agonising death…!

“Yes! Give in to your anger! Let it consume you!” she heard the whisper loudly. She could feel the dark side taking over her, pulsing through her veins, turning her irises a deeper yellow than hazel. The whisper had not come from the island, it had come across the universe, finding her in her small hut. It broke across where her thoughts had been headed and she saw clearly how the dark side had lulled her, allowing her to wallow in anger and hatred. The darkness left her immediately. She thought of her parents’ faces again, willing them in front of her. She thought of their sacrifice, driven by love so pure it had to come from the light. No. They would not want her to avenge them this way. She couldn’t help but think aloud, "if they knew what I’ve believed about them all these years, would they still love me? Would they forgive me? _"_

“Of course they would,” Luke said, appearing suddenly.

“Master Luke!”

“Oh Rey. Didn’t you learn anything from the last time you were here?!” Luke admonished her, almost rolling his eyes. “You can’t play with the dark side and not expect it to play back, you know.”

“You’re right, Master Luke. I know! I don’t know what I was thinking!” Rey exclaimed shaking her head.

“You were grieving for your parents, Rey. It’s only natural. But you need to forgive yourself for thinking what you did when you were left on Jakku, you were so little when it happened, left to grow up in the desert. Your parents would not only forgive you for thinking they had abandoned you, they would grieve for the childhood you never had. They would weep to see the endless nights and days marked into the side of your AT-AT. No, child. Accept that it was beyond your control, then let it go.” He advised her. Rey buried her head in her hands and wept. Luke allowed her silently. He knew she needed to do this in order to be strong for what lay ahead. Eventually, Rey sat up and wiped her face with the back of her hand. She began to hiccup… then they both began to laugh at the strange contortions of Rey’s stomach as the hiccups grew stronger. She held her breath for a few minutes until they subsided.

“Congrats on your little bundle of joy!” He beamed down at her, “It’s not really the Jedi way, but it’s time for the Jedi ways to die. Anyway, he’s going to be a real handful – trust me on this, I knew his father as a boy,” Luke chortled. Rey laughed with him, then stopped when she saw his look change to one of regret, “I wish I had done everything different, Rey. Maybe Palpatine would not have succeeded in pulling Ben in through Snoke. There was so much I didn’t understand about the Force… about visions… about so much,” he sighed sadly, “like my father before me, in fighting to stop the vision from coming to pass I actually caused it to. It’s a Skywalker flaw it would seem,” he said ruefully.

“I’m so sorry Master,” Rey said softly, sad for him and the ruins that were his family legacy.

“It can’t be undone. But it can be remedied… he’s changed since he met you, there’s more light in him than there ever was before. But I must warn you, Rey, both your and Ben’s destinies are very much what you make of them. You can both still choose,” he cautioned her.

“So that means that Ben will join m-“ Rey started, excited.

“No…! Rey, Listen to me. His choice could still go either way… as could yours…” She saw the truth of it and it frightened her. She touched her belly, Rey could not fathom a world without the father of her child. She also refused to think of a world where she joined the dark side, then all would be lost.

“The best that you can do for him, is to show him love and compassion and, where he allows you to, guide him. His life has been filled with betrayal, regret and manipulation,” Luke said sadly.

Luke’s words struck Rey, “Betrayal…” she muttered. She immediately thought of the incident in the Supremacy Throne room - how she had rejected his offer and how far they had come since then.

“Rey,” Luke interrupted her thoughts, “You are a dyad in the force and your destinies are intertwined, it is not your destiny to save him, the choice remains his, but you definitely play a significant part.” With this Luke disappeared.

Rey was extremely frustrated with Luke’s sudden departure. _Can’t he just speak plainly? Would it be sooo hard to tell me what to do for once?!_ She thought to herself, thoroughly irritated.

Rey couldn’t get Ben off her mind, it made her restless so, just this once, she decided to look in on him. _This isn’t stalking is it_ , she justified to herself, _he is my husband after all_! She reached into the Force and opened the bond and saw Ben, he was sound asleep, he looked so tired, her heart ached for him. She had only ever watched him sleep once, but it had been so long ago; she couldn’t resist giving him a kiss on the forehead. Ben stirred but didn’t wake up. All she wanted in this moment was to be close to him, she needed to pretend that he was there with her. She lay down next to him, feeling the warmth of his body against her back. She fell asleep before the bond severed and woke up the next morning with renewed hope.

\--------------------

The journey to Lothal had been disappointingly uneventful and when Kylo reached Lothal, he had only the Force to rely on to track down the remnants of the Jedi Temple. He knew from the files that he read before leaving the Executioner that Lothal was not likely to welcome Kylo Ren with open arms seeing as they had risen up against the Empire years previously. It didn’t suit him to have to cover his identity, not something he was accustomed to as his identity was considered powerful on both sides of the fight and all across the systems. It hurt him to the bone to have to play dress up, but he had little choice and decided to become ‘Matt’, a former First Order radar technician. He dressed in clothes of a lighter colour, which only served to highlight his stature more (one of the many reasons why he wore black), the only item he didn’t have and began to desperately wish he did was a wig of some sort - his black curls were quite conspicuous but it was the best he could do.

He had to land in a clearing surrounded by rock formations on the outskirts of Lothal City as his TIE Fighter would severely have compromised his cover. As he had everything he needed, he only went into Lothal City for food and to procure a land speeder. He made sure to hide any indications that he was the Supreme Leader of the First Order - _this means I have to be nice,_ Kylo realised with a grimace.

Lothal was a planet that was strong in the Force, the sole reason why the Jedi had built a temple on it, _if it still exists_ , he thought. But he could not deny that he felt the presence of the Force pulling him in a direction. Kylo found himself oddly enjoying the scenery of Lothal, the planet was primarily a large open savannah with rounded peak rock formations scattered across the plains. It had a pleasant, temperate climate. Kylo really enjoyed having his dinner out in the open under the stars. He had been so consumed with his _purpose_ , the dark side, and what that meant that he had forgotten to enjoy the beauty the universe had to offer. Kylo didn’t know if it was the planet or his connection to nature but he felt more at peace.

________________

A week had passed since Kylo arrived on Lothal and besides checking in with General Kelthar and doing supply runs, he had no contact with anyone else. Kylo looked at the holomap, he had not only made progress in tracking down the site of the Jedi Temple, he now believed that he had found it, but nothing was ever that easy. He still had to _gain_ access or whatever his grandfather wanted him to do. He felt lost without that voice in his head guiding him in his singular purpose, gods, he even missed Rey inside his head… but this had afforded him the rare luxury of alone time.

_Tomorrow I will set out again_ , he thought to himself, _But what will you do when you get there?_ The thought shot through his mind like a flaming arrow. He was suddenly filled with doubt and frustration. Usually, Kylo would have cleared his mind in his training room on the ship, but that was not an option here. He could not take the chance that anyone saw the signature red lightsaber of a Sith Lord. He saw a boulder nearby and it was dark enough that lifting it would go unnoticed. He lifted the boulder quite easily and kept it levitated for an extended period until he started feeling the strain, until all that was left in his head was lifting the boulder. Laying it down quietly, he rolled up a cloak and allowed sleep to take him.

The following morning, Kylo was up before the sun rose and prepared a quick caf and a portion bread. Kylo was driven to complete his task as soon as possible, but he could not help but take in the scenery, he was compelled to. It reminded him of his time on Naboo with Rey, his sweetheart, his _wife._ He also thought of the child they would be welcoming into the world and he was overwhelmed with joy.

After breakfast, Kylo hopped on the speeder and went to the location where he had expected the temple to be. Once there, he reached in the Force. Feeling the heavy presence of the Force, he knew had found his mark, although there were no discernible landmarks, it was just a large open savannah. He knew that it usually required two Force users to access the temple, but he didn’t have that luxury. He’d have to make a different plan. In frustration, he almost hauled out his saber and wrecked the speeder, but he reminded himself that he would have to walk back if he gave in to his emotions.

After leaning on his speeder for a long while, trying to think what he needed to do, he was reminded of Rey and her idea to meditate. They had never gotten a chance to do that, he sighed, he felt a pang of regret and he missed her desperately. _What have I got to lose?_ He thought to himself. He found a spot to sit and started meditating. At first it was hard, feeling the Force in the absence of intense emotions was strange, he had been trained to focus on his passion and anger, which always brought him strength, but in this case, it would not serve him at all. He could feel that he was indeed in a Force nexus and he could feel the force swirling around him - his presence was engulfed by the Force. _What am I doing here?_ he thought as if speaking to the Force, desperate to know what came next. Suddenly, he heard a man’s voice as if it were the wind itself whispering, “Patience.” His eyes shot open to see who was speaking but there was no one. He hadn’t realised how long he had spent meditating and the waning light and his growling stomach brought him to the surface. Disappointed and angry, Kylo got up and made his way to his makeshift camp.

Kylo eventually fell asleep, struggling with his frustration and feelings of failure circling his mind. However, to his utmost surprise, he awoke the next morning and could swear he could smell Rey’s scent in his improvised bed. His heart felt lighter and inexplicably filled with hope. He quickly ate breakfast and headed to the site where the temple had been.

He sat down and found that meditation came easily this time. He hadn’t meditated for long when he heard the same voice as yesterday, “Welcome Back! I sense great conflict in your heart,” the voice said. Kylo opened his eyes and saw a man he didn’t recognise at all.

“Who are you?” Kylo asked rather, mistrusting the stranger.

“I am Qui-Gon Jinn. I met your grandfather on Tatooine when he was a child,” the man said calmly. Kylo was at a loss as to why this man would appear to him and he asked as much. Qui-Gon smiled, “Well, you see, I need to advise you that you will find that which you seek here, but you need to be in alignment with the Force. Be careful though, what lies ahead might be the end of who you are!”

“I don’t understand! What do you mean?!” Kylo replied alarmed at the prospect of losing himself.

“Prepare yourself. I will wait, and when you are ready, I will open the temple for you.” These were the last words Qui-Gon spoke before disappearing. Kylo tried to clear his mind of anxiety and fear, he managed eventually by reminding himself that there was more at stake than _his_ life. After some time, Kylo knew he was ready. He opened his eyes, stood, and thought to himself, and what he hoped was Qui-Gon, _I am ready._ With that, a portal opened and a voice carried on the wind ushered him in.

Once inside, Kylo became disorientated. It felt as if he were walking amongst the stars… but there was no end or beginning. He started to worry but it came as a vague feeling, almost as if he were feeling someone else’s concern. Dazed, he wondered what was happening to him. He called out, but his voice just echoed back to him. Suddenly, Qui-Gon and another, much smaller Force Ghost appeared in front of him.

“This is Master Yoda,” Qui-Gon said, “He has come with me to impart wisdom to you about this realm.”

“Young Solo you are. Great conflict there is within you,” Master Yoda said solemnly. Kylo retorted,

“How would you know? You don’t know me!” Yet somehow he felt like Master Yoda could see into the depths of his soul.

“Wrong you are, young Solo. All things the Force makes clear,” Master Yoda replied calmly. “Here, find you will, that which you seek.” 

Pathways opened in a spiderweb around Kylo.

He wasn’t prepared for what he saw next…


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey trains Finn with a lightsaber. He starts pushing himself harder, Rey can't help but wonder why.
> 
> Kylo sees several futures in the Jedi temple and must make a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, sorry for not posting a chapter yesterday. Been dealing with a four-day long migraine. Hubby wrote this chapter and I've tried to edit it, please forgive if there are mistakes, I'll fix them at a later stage if necessary.
> 
> As always, if you're enjoying this please consider leaving a kudos or comment <3

* * *

Rey had given up on trying to sleep in. She had still not managed to find a comfortable place to sleep, no matter what she tried, not to mention that her little boy also decided to kick and wiggle more often.

Rey got up and stepped out of her stone hut and surveyed the surroundings. It was a misty morning and the temple was shrouded in cloud cover. Usually, she would find Finn nearby having a caf and they would have a brief exchange before starting their day. She loved her friend dearly, but he always had to be nudged in the mornings and she found this rather exasperating. However, recently this had changed. She quickly finished her morning routine as she found that eating had become essential during pregnancy. She had tried going without breakfast once and fainted during a training session, which resulted in Finn scolding her severely. She could still picture his concerned face hovering over her when she came to.

Rey found him in the temple already training. He was levitating rocks as he meditated, _he seems to have gotten better_ , she thought. She felt his concentration and presence in the Force and was impressed. “Morning Fin!” Rey said smiling. Finn got a fright and fell off the rock he was meditating on and a rock almost landed on his outstretched hand.

“Rey! Don’t sneak up to me! I could have hurt you!” Finn exclaimed. At this Rey raised an eyebrow and asked, “How exactly?”

“Well… I could have lost control over the rocks and one could have…” Finn started rambling. Rey started laughing openly,

“Finn, you couldn’t hit Neebray Manta if you tried!” she quipped. 

“Rey, I’m not joking! I have gotten strong in the force!” Fin retorted. Rey met his eyes with a challenge.

“Ok, then show me, pick up a rock and Force push it at me” she replied calmly.

“I don’t want to…” Rey cut Finn off mid-sentence,

“Just do it, stop worrying. I’m pregnant not injured!” she said irritably.

Finn levitated a rock and Force pushed it at Rey. Rey managed to stop it with ease and sent it flying back to Finn, landing near his feet. “Really Finn, be serious, let’s see what you can do!” Rey said rather more irritated than before. Finn proceeded to levitate as many rocks as he could manage and Force pushed them at Rey. She was surprised that it required more exertion than she expected, but he was not as attuned to the Force as she had become as training Finn over the last few months had helped her to hone her abilities. “Well done _my padawan,_ but you still have a lot to learn.” Rey said, knowing that Finn didn’t like formalities. Finn sat down in a huff. Rey couldn’t contain herself anymore and could not hide her laughter, “Finn, remember this is a process. Unlike the dark side, you dedicate your life to the study of the Force and as you grow in your understanding of the Force, your ability to use it will grow with time. Patience Finn,” She encouraged him.

After a brief respite, Rey got up and motioned Finn to a clearing where he usually did his form training. Finn sighed, “Not form training again,” he said unenthusiastically. Rey gave Finn a severe look.

“Patience Finn!” she said irritably. Finn realised that it would be safer if he didn’t test her further. Finn proceeded to pick up the electro sword and entered the ready stance. “Wait!” Rey said unexpectedly, which broke Finn’s concentration. Rey threw Leia’s saber at him. Finn caught it with his free hand and looked at it rather sheepishly. As if responding to an unspoken question, Rey confirmed, “Yes, today we will be training with sabers.”

Finn ignited the saber and started going through his saber training. After a reasonable warm up period, Rey decided that it was time for Finn to practise his lightsaber skills, and, seeing as they had left the sparring droid on Ajan-Kloss, she would have to fill in. “Finn, let’s spar a bit, we will start with a specific routine. I will call out the movements and you counter.”

For the next half hour, Rey called out movements and Finn blocked and attacked as instructed. “Finn, can you feel the weight of the blade,” she asked,

“Yes… I didn’t feel it before because I was always driven by fear, danger and anger the previous times that I wielded a lightsaber. I never had the time to feel what I was doing,” Finn replied in amazement.

“A lightsaber becomes an extension of your person, Finn, it is always flowing and you need to be able to control it because a single mistake means a lost limb,” Rey continued, “I am sure you felt it, when you fought Kylo on Starkiller Base and when we were sparring now, lightsabers are drawn to one another.” She held out her lightsaber and Finn brought his saber to touch hers. "Thus you need to have a good grip and focus on the movement of the blade." Finn looked at Rey in awe,

“How did you know that?” Finn asked.

“Leia trained me, remember?” Rey retorted.

Finn and Rey prepared to spar again, “Finn, don’t go easy on me, ok?” Rey said sternly

“But you’re preg…” he began. Without warning, Rey lunged at Finn, bringing her lightsaber across Finn’s torso. Finn barely managed to block it, “Kriff Rey! You could have hurt me!” Finn exclaimed.

“Finn, you talk and worry too much! In a real fight it will likely kill you!” Rey responded coldly. Rey spun around bringing the blade in for a blow from the other side. This time, Finn managed to quite easily block the attack. “Good, you’re focusing now,” Rey commented. Finn quickly disengaged the parry and swung at Rey quickly in succession, with the last strike being blocked by Rey close to her face, the lightsabers hissing softly in her right ear. It sounded like they were singing and enjoying being used. Rey changed her stance, spun low and tripped Finn, bringing the blade down on Finn. Finn cross blocked the attack,

“Hey! That wasn’t fair!” he complained.

“The Sith don’t fight fair,” she replied. She leapt backwards onto a rocky outcrop waiting for her opponent. She was pleasantly surprised that she was still very agile, despite being 5 months pregnant. Finn got up, caught his breath and Force leapt towards Rey, his blade ready to stab at her. Rey blocked the blade from the side and used Finn’s momentum against him, almost causing him to fall face first. Finn turned quickly and brought his blade in from a flowing upwards slice. Rey leapt back. Finn was on top of her with a flurry of consecutive side blows from all angles. “Good! You’re now taking this seriously. Reach into the Force, focus and use it to anticipate my moves.” Rey leapt onto another rock much higher than the one before and took up a defensive stance. Rey took a deep breath, she knew that if she didn’t have total control of her blade to stop it if Finn didn’t anticipate her attack, she risked cutting off his legs. She saw Finn was tiring, but this was for his own good. Finn Force leapt and as he was about to land on the platform, Rey swung at his exposed legs. Finn blocked the blow but it threw him off balance and he hit the ground. Rey pointed her saber at his exposed neck.

“You’re dead” Rey said coldly, then sheathed her saber and proceeded to compliment Finn on his use of the saber. Finn handed the saber back to Rey, to which she replied, “No… you keep it for now, get some practice in with it. When you want to, then we will have a rematch soon,” Rey said gently. Rey was exhausted after the training session and went to chat to Chewie. Finn declined joining them and went back to practising his forms. Rey wondered again what had happened that made him so dedicated, but she thought better of it than to pry. When he was ready, he would tell her.

The rest of the day passed rather uneventfully, but when Rey returned to her hut at sunset, she saw Finn still practising his forms. She called out to him, “Finn, it’s almost dinner time. I think you need to stop for now!” Finn turned and nodded in agreement,

“I just want to freshen up, then I’ll join you!” he yelled back

\-----------------

The vast expanse of the network stretched out around Kylo. “What’s going on?” Kylo asked curiously. Behind him a solitary path could be seen, which he knew was the past, and all around him were many twisting and diverging paths.

“Many destinies there are. Matter your choice does.” Yoda said in his raspy voice. Kylo replied,

“But isn’t my path set? My choices led me to this point, is my fate not decided?”

“Your Destiny undecided it remains. Use you Palpatine wants, then discard you he will,” Yoda said pensively. “Lost your way, you have. Manipulated you have been, decide your destiny you must.” With this, Yoda faded and Qui-Gon spoke again,

“This place can show you many things, Solo, the force has deemed it fit to show you the futures that lie ahead, free of the manipulation of the Emperor.”

This disturbed Kylo immensely. He had thought he had done everything with a single purpose - to bring order to the galaxy. Suddenly, his mind went blank and he could only hear Qui Gon’s voice in the distance, “Fight it!” Instantly, Kylo found that the Emperor was in his head and all around him,

“My dear boy, you lied to me again! I see you have not gone to best our enemies but have instead consorted with the Jedi!” He spat. Kylo could feel the Emperor’s presence taking control of him, he could feel the last vestiges of his personality slipping away. He heard the Emperor’s voice laughing and mocking him, “You are weak, my boy. You will now do my will! Your future is one of servitude to the dark side! Your first act is to bring me your child!” The Emperor growled. Kylo’s eyes turned yellow and a look of pure corruption covered his face. He lay on the floor, unable to move.

Whilst this was happening to Kylo, Qui-Gon stepped closer to him and reached his hand out to stem the tide of the corruption that was taking over. Yoda, Luke, Leia, Anakin and Obi-Wan all materialised and stood in a circle around Kylo. Together, they managed to repel the Emperor’s attack and Kylo came to his senses again. Shocked, he sat up and gasped for air.

“Your destiny this is, if you serve Sidious, young Solo” Yoda said clearly.

Kylo sat there for a while, his thoughts clearer than they had been in a long time, “Does that mean that my actions weren’t my own?” he asked more to himself than anyone around him.

“To an extent,” Anakin answered. “You see, Ben, what Palpatine did was manipulate and control you and what the Force wanted to offer you was an opportunity to choose for yourself. For now, you are free and safe,” Anakin explained. With this, all the Force ghosts disappeared except for Qui-Gon. Kylo felt lighter and happier than he had in a long time.

“What do I have to do?” he asked instinctively.

What he hadn’t expected was Qui-Gon’s response, “Nothing. You are here to observe for if you act here, you might alter the fabric of time,” with that, Qui-Gon motioned to Kylo to explore. Kylo got up and started walking down the first path, passing various portals. On this path, he saw a future that was intricately woven together, but none of the images were exactly clear as he was not meant to change them. He saw that these actions were directly related to his choices. The first path of the future that was revealed to him showed him that he had become a slave to the Emperor, lost his true self, and his child was his apprentice and they were scheming to destroy the Emperor. But then the Emperor turned his child against him and he met his end at the hand of his offspring. In a flash of light, he was on another path which showed him that his child was the emperor, he died at Rey’s hands and the child then killed her. Their child was the embodiment of Palpatine made perfect. The thought of training his child was appealing to him and it filled him with pride. However, many more futures were revealed to him and they always ended with the fall of his offspring to the dark side. The timeline skipped forward and all that he saw was death and destruction engulf the galaxy, the Force completely out of balance. The Sith and the Jedi would continue fighting each other and the galaxy was the battleground for thousands of years to come, each side having their turn to be prominent in the galaxy, peace never lasting. The Emperor would figure out the secret of complete immortality through Kylo’s child and this would bring significant turmoil to the galaxy and, when the Emperor was done with his child, he would discard the body like trash and move on to another. Kylo dropped to the floor overcome with despair. All he felt was the turmoil of the galaxy and the pain and suffering caused by this future. Kylo looked up and yelled, “What is the point if everything ends like this!”

Qui-Gon appeared before Kylo, “These futures are not written yet, but are likely outcomes if you remain a servant of the Emperor,” Qui-Gon motioned to another path, “there are more pathways for you to walk, please continue.” Kylo followed another path and what he saw was different, he saw Rey and his child. Rey and Kylo were training him together in the Force and they were happy. He saw another future of Rey and their child happy and safe. He got the sense that there was balance in the Force. Kylo felt relieved that there was a future where the ones he loved remained alive. Kylo thought to himself, _what it would it take to bring this about?_ He saw that the road was not a single simple choice, but rather a continuous dedication to doing what is right, not following the light but following the will of the Force.

Qui-Gon spoke “The choice is yours, remember that.”

Kylo thought for a bit, “But I have done so much that is terrible!” He lamented.

“Your experience of the dark side makes you more attuned to its temptations. Because you have walked that path, it does not mean all is lost, you can still do the will of the Force and bring balance to the force,” Qui-Gon replied.

Kylo contemplated everything that he had learned, and wondered what this meant. He contemplated what it felt like when the Emperor wasn’t in his head and it felt clear, easier somehow, less haunted, less tormented. Kylo asked Qui-Gon, “How do I make the journey back to the light?”

Qui-Gon replied, “It starts with a choice and then you take it from there, but going back to the light is not the answer either as it will just mean that the struggle between light and dark continues.”

This really confused Kylo, so he asked, “What do you mean?”

Qui-Gon smiled, “True balance comes with following the will of the Force,” he said and promptly disappeared.

Luke and Leia appeared to Kylo next. Kylo was immediately upset, these were the last people he wanted to see. “Why are you here?” he asked gruffly. Leia answered first,

“My dearest son, we are family and there are intense emotions surrounding our relationships and one of the first steps is to heal the damage caused. I am so sorry for my part in letting you fall to the darkness… and for failing you.” Kylo was saddened by his mother’s words, but what saddened him. He felt further sadness remembering that it was his people who had killed her.

“Mother, I…I’m sorry! The First Order caused your death… but I had no hand in it! I avenged you… but I still feel responsible.” He hung his head.

Leia responded, “Ben, I didn’t need you to avenge my death. Stop blaming yourself for my death. You had no part in it, you need to let go in order to move forward.”

It was Luke’s turn to speak. “Ben…” he began. Kylo interrupted Luke and bellowed,

“I don’t want to hear it!”

Luke continued regardless, “I am sorry, Ben! I was weak and I failed you. I caused your fall,” his eyes shone with unshed tears, “I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

Kylo felt so angry he could hardly get the words out, “You tried to kill me!” Luke didn’t argue, he knew it wouldn’t help, he just nodded.

“I had a moment of weakness. I saw a vision that showed you falling to the dark side and the tyranny it would bring. I wanted to stop it - a fat lot of good it did me, I wish I could take it all back!”

Kylo sat in silence for a long, long time. Leia and Luke said nothing as they watched Ben process Luke’s words. Ben then responded, “I forgive you, Uncle.” With this Kylo felt a huge burden lifting off him. His anger and hatred for Luke had been what was keeping him anchored to the dark side and with this single action, its hold was broken.

“Ben, you need to understand, the way of the Jedi and Sith was what pulled the galaxy out of balance. Neither can be allowed to continue or the conflict will never stop and the cycle will continue to repeat itself. A new order needs to be crafted, an order where the will of the Force is paramount, neither good nor bad,” Luke urged.

Kylo looked up at Luke, “Is this my destiny, Uncle?” Luke smiled,

“It is both of your destinies. Balance in the force depends on you and Rey raising your child in the will of the Force. This will not be an easy road and it will require constant dedication, but it will lead to peace in the galaxy. It is the responsibility of those who can to protect those who can’t. The role that you are meant to play in the galaxy is not to rule with an iron fist, but to bring balance through the Force, something the former Jedi order lost sight of with their obsession with being _good_.”

Ben felt overwhelmed but his mind was surprisingly clear and at peace, “Please Uncle. Tell me what I need to do.”

Luke replied, “Your future remains just that - undecided, but you need to find your other half, because whatever you decide to do, your destinies are forever linked.”

With that Luke and Leia started fading, their last words to him hanging in the air, “May the force be with you” they said.

He replied with purpose, “and with you!”

Ben got up and asked Qui-Gon if there was more to learn in this place.

“No, you have found what you sought, but I have to warn you, the road ahead will not be easy. May the force be with you!” he said, repeating Luke and Leia. He then also disappeared and the portal back to the physical realm opened. When Ben walked through the portal, he found himself back on Lothal. He got onto his speeder, making his way to back to his ship with speed and fierce determination.

\----------------------

The commlink buzzed on the Night Buzzard and the Emperor’s voice filled the common area where the Knights of Ren were busy preparing for their next mission. The knights all stopped what they were doing and listened intently. “Knights, Lord Ren was weak and he has betrayed me! Return to Exegol immediately!” he bellowed.

“Yes, my Emperor,” Ushar responded on behalf of the Knights.

______________

Ben got back to his ship and prepared to leave Lothal, but something wasn’t right. He felt a great sense of torture and pain. He focused and found the pain emanating from his lightsaber, it was like the crystal itself was in agony. He remembered the process of bleeding his crystal and the damage it had caused. He could not bear to wield this weapon any longer, be accompanied by the pain and bloodshed that had been his constant companion. This was the weapon of Kylo Ren… and he was no more. Ben sat down and reached into the Force and started dismantling the saber. After he had dismantled it, he isolated the Kyber crystal and focused his Force energy into the crystal, “I’m sorry for the pain I have caused. You can now be at peace,” he said to the Kyber Crystal and shattered it into a million pieces. When he got into the ship he contacted General Kelthar.

“General, status report,” he asked.

“Well, sir, we have just _subjugated_ the planet of Dantooine as we found significant _rebel activity_.” General Kelthar’s voice came back.

“Hold your position, General, I will meet up with you there,” Ben instructed. He started up the engines and punched in the hyperspace coordinates for Dantooine and left the orbit of Lothal. Never in his life would he have expected to feel so different. He almost couldn’t believe that both the Jedi and Sith were to blame for the state of the galaxy… but his lineage still had a chance to bring balance to it. With that, the hyperspace engine was primed and the ship jumped to hyperspace.

The hyperspace warning light went off, indicating to Ben that he was about to drop out of hyperspace. As soon as he had, he saw the executioner flanked by the Finalizer and the Savage Dawn. He proceeded to land.

Once Ben landed on board, he immediately went to his quarters to freshen up. He donned a fresh sweater, outer tunic, and pants, all in black. As he turned to survey his appearance in the mirror, he noticed with shock that the scar Rey had given him, and his other scars had disappeared. _It must have happened in the temple!_ He thought, almost dazed. _How the kriff do I explain this to the First Order?_

It couldn’t be put off forever. He requested General Kelthar to join him in his quarters. If Kelthar noticed his lack of scar, he said nothing about it. He then gave Ben a progress update that the plan had been executed as per Ben’s instructions. “Excellent, General” Ben replied.

Kelthar did not mince his words and asked, “Supreme Leader, were you able to obtain the knowledge you sought on Lothal?” Ben nodded, wondering if the General had indeed noticed his lack of scar. Having no one else to trust, Ben proceeded to explain, in some way, what he had seen - that the emperor was indeed just using the First Order, after which it would be discarded like fodder. The emperor sought destruction, not order. Kelthar’s face showed concern,

“Well, then it’s really a good thing that we managed to rotate the crews then. At least everyone on board the Executioner are loyal to the First Order.”

____________

Unbeknownst to either Ben or General Kelthar, they had walked into a trap. The Emperor had been contacted by Sith Eternal loyalists on the other ships and notified of Ben’s deceit. They were then given direct instructions that they should wait for Lord Ren to arrive, then launch a coordinated assault on the Executioner. “That ship will be destroyed or you will die trying Leutenants!” The Emperor hissed.

“Yes, my Lord,” replied the commanding officers. Once the holonet clicked off, they gave the instruction for both the Finalizer and the Savage Dawn to prepare for battle.

________________

Ben and General Kelthar had concluded their discussion and Ben had just given the instruction that he would like to speak to the entire crew as they were no longer fighting for the Empire and as a result likely now an enemy of the Emperor. Both men reached the bridge and Kelthar gave the instruction to open a ship-wide communication.

Ben was slightly nervous at the prospect of having to address the entire ship now that he was no longer technically Kylo Ren, but the message had to come from him not the General.

“First Order: This is your Supreme Leader! It has come to my attention that we have been betrayed and misled by the Emperor. He seeks to destroy the galaxy and not to bring order…” Ben did not get further than that because, as his last words still hung in the air, the first impacts from the turbo lasers hit the Executioner. The Holonet popped open on a secure channel. The captain of the Finalizer came into view. He was a middle aged, balding man with cold eyes and a dark countenance.

“Lord Ren! The emperor has deemed you and the crew of the Executioner as traitors… prepare to die!” He announced with barely subdued glee.

Without any further warning, a squadron of TIE Bombers dropped their bombs on the Bow of the Executioner. General Kelthar sprang into action without hesitation.

“Get the deflector shields up! Divert power equally between shields and lasers! Set all portside lasers to target the Finalizer and starboard cannons to focus on the Savage dawn, take out their weapons systems. All ion cannons: take out all small crafts. All other cannons: target incoming small ships and keep us steady with the enemy ships. Mirror their movements!” he commanded. With that, space lit up with red and green blasts as the Executioner opened fire. Ben wished that he could do something, but he didn’t have his saber anymore and the enemy had the advantage of surprise. He realised that the likelihood of him succeeding was minimal unless they could somehow gain the upper hand.

“General, we have to send out ships. Our cannons are only marginally effective against small ships and our shields cannot withstand this beating for much longer!” Ben could see the General was thinking and trying to devise a plan on how to survive against all odds.

Damage reports came in. “General, we lost the forward cannons and the front bulkhead had to be sealed off!” Someone yelled. With that, a large explosion rocked the ship as it tore through the front tip of the ship.

“Sir, we’ve lost Decks 7 – 12. The bulkheads are sealed but the casualties are mounting!” Another commander said. Everything in Ben wanted to get in a ship and start blowing things up, but then… he could have sworn he heard Luke’s voice,

“Have patience, trust those around you!” Ben took a deep breath and felt the Force clearer than he had in a long time.

“General!” his voice rang out over the deck, “I have an idea.” He didn’t wait for the General to respond. The battle was raging outside and he was losing men people who were loyal and who actually wanted order in the galaxy. “I am going to lift the Finalizer and expose her underbelly. Then I want all canons to focus fire on the hangar area so that we can neutralize their strike capability. At the same time, I want you to raise the executioner at a 30 degree angle, exposing the underside to the Savage Dawn, they will try to do the same to us, but we will push the deflector shield to the maximum across the bottom hull and focus all turbo lasers on the bridge of the Savage Dawn. Once we have punched through their shields, launch all bomber squadrons and destroy the command deck. With the Savage Dawn out the way, we should be able to easily neutralize the finalizer from there.”

“Right everyone, you heard the Supreme Leader, this is a risky plan, but it’s all we have, so get ready!” The General ordered. He briskly walked up to Ben and muttered for only Ben to hear, “I hope this works!” Ben gave him a half smile and responded,

“Me too.” Ben reached into the force and started lifting and turning the finalizer, the ship was fighting against him, but this was it. He put all his strength into manipulating the Star Destroyer. Once in place, he heard the General give the order to fire. The focused top guns of the Executioner fired on the hanger bay of the Finalizer and the top guns focused on the bridge of the Savage Dawn. It didn’t take long to breach their defences, and the deflector shield of the finalizer failed. The turbo lasers began ripping a hole into the Finalizer’s hangar section. The attack worked too well and the ship started to split. Ben felt the ship splitting and with its close proximity to the Executioner, the parts were going to hit the Executioner, causing both ships to fail and likely be caught up in the gravitational pull of Dantooine. Ben refocused and reached out to both halves of the Finalizer and Force pushed the parts out away from the Executioner. This completely exhausted him; his last words being, “The General will have to handle the rest.” With this he collapsed from exhaustion.

General Kelthar saw Ben collapse and managed to break some of his fall, preventing him from hitting his head. “Get the Supreme Leader to the medbay immediately!” He barked. “How are we progressing on breaking the shields on the second ship?

A voice came back in machined precision, “We are almost through, Sir!”

“Keep the barrage up!” Kelthar demanded and turned to his lieutenant, “Prepare the bombers once we are through and target the bridge. Give me a status report, are we through yet?!” Kelthar demanded.

“Yes, Sir,” a voice came back.

“Launch the bombers!” Kelthar ordered.

The bombers launched a coordinated strike. The turbo lasers from the Savage Dawn found their mark and the bomber squadrons took heavy losses, but, ultimately, they found their mark and blew up the bridge of the Savage Dawn. The explosion rippled outward from the bridge across the surface of the Star Destroyer until it completely exploded.

Everyone on the bridge cheered except for Kelthar. “Commander, get me a status report, and jump us to hyperspace as soon as possible!” He ordered, staring bleakly out at the wreckage around them. A bounty had surely been placed on their heads by now. The hunter had become the prey.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is going home to Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so we're posting a little early today. Managed to write a chapter together - I can't wait for Reylo to be together again!! They literally have not been together since they conceived their little boy. I'm already getting the feels!
> 
> Also, over 3000 hits?! Space... I mean Force cookies for everyone lol <3 <3

* * *

Rey awoke with a start. Sitting upright while trying to catch her breath, she wondered what had woken her. Straining her ears, she could hear nothing but the wind, which was not unusual, but something unusual had woken her, of that she was sure. She realised that it was still the middle of the night. Tentatively, she swung her legs off the bunk and reached into the Force, the only way to answer her question. She could feel the Force signatures of the lives around her on the island, nothing was out of the ordinary. Then she reached for Ben… Nothing. She couldn’t feel him, which was impossible. For one bleak, awful moment she thought to herself, _the only way that’s possible is if he’s dead. No!_ She couldn’t breathe for what seemed like an eternity. He couldn’t be. Surely she would’ve felt her other half leave this realm as an earth shattering catastrophe… She reached again, harder this time, willing all her energy into sensing Ben wherever he was. Her breath came back in starts and fits, and was shaky at best but she felt him, although he seemed weak and it was as if someone had dimmed his life Force. She opened the bond between them until she could see him lying on what seemed to be a bed, but nothing else of where he was came through.

“Ben, my darling! Ben, it’s alright! I’m here now,” she whispered anxiously into his ear, gently brushing his hair back. He stirred very lightly but did not come to. Something was very wrong. She wondered if she should try to Force heal him, if it was even possible through the bond connection. She was determined to try anyway. She sat on the edge of the bed and laid her hand on his heart, his pulse was strong despite whatever was wrong with him. She closed her eyes and focused on sending a fabric of herself into him, she focused on the life growing within her, the essence of all living things. A heartbeat. New growth. Warmth. Love. Light. Life. She could feel it transferring to him… then something odd happened, he transferred something to her.

She saw Ben gripping her hand as she gave birth to their son. The look on his face was one of sheer delight, pride, but there was something else, something wrong with his face. He cut the umbilical cord and cradled his bloody son close to his chest. She was tired but happier than she’d ever been before. She just wanted to hold her little boy, be near her son and husband.

“Bring him here, Ben, my love. Let me look at our son,” she said eagerly despite her exhaustion. He didn’t move. In fact, she wasn’t sure that he’d heard her. “Ben, can I hold him?” She tried again. He looked at her and whatever was wrong with his face was magnified, she now saw that his eyes weren’t his, they were a luminous yellow.

“No.” Was all he said, his expression changing to one of disdain and disgust, clearly aimed at her. He wrapped their son in a blanket and left. She wailed and screamed, then pleaded as loudly as she had strength for, but he did not return. Nobody came. She was alone and Ben had stolen her child.

Rey whipped her hand back off Ben’s chest with a pierced cry as she came back to herself. It had been a vision. She found that Ben was awake and looking at her, his warm brown eyes alert and surprised.

“Rey, sweetheart! How did you get here?” He said, still dazed.

“You monster!” She spat out, determined to close the bond and herself off from him forever. Finn had been right about him. She hesitated a second too long, long enough to see the wounded look come into his eyes, the one she knew so well from Snoke’s throne room. She should’ve just closed the bond, but she felt she had to say to him, “You’re going to take my son! YOU ARE A MONSTER! I wish I’d never met you! All you care about is the dark side and ruling the galaxy, well I’m going to make sure that you’ll never make an apprentice out of my son!” She began shedding tears of anger.

Ben sat up, fully awake now. He raised both hands with his palms towards her, pleading, “Rey, that was only one of the futures revealed to me at the Jedi temple…” he said as quickly as he could before she got the chance to shut him out forever.

“How can I believe you?” he heard the agony in Rey’s voice.

“Read my mind. Let me show you what I’ve seen. What has happened to me. Please, Rey! I swear, I would never take our son away from you, I swear it on… on everything!” he vowed, desperate. He held out his hand, Rey looked at him suspiciously, still overcome with terror and grief at what she had seen.

She tentatively took his hand and he showed her his unbelievable journey into the world between worlds on Lothal. He showed her his conversations with Qui-Gon, then Yoda, then Luke and Leia. He showed her that he had broken the hold of the dark side over him, as well as his lightsaber. She gasped at this. His lightsaber had been part of him, part of his identity.

“You see, Rey, I couldn’t go through this life knowing that I’d hurt you. Every path where that happened, I was still of the dark side. I had to choose to give it up so that you and our son could have a future worth having,” he said sadly.

“Oh Ben! You can become a Jedi now!” Rey said, hope dawning in her beautiful eyes.

“No, sweetheart. You saw what Master Qui-Gon said… It is time for both the Sith and the Jedi to come to an end. There needs to be balance in the Force. A new order has to created – not necessarily by us,” he amended as he saw her expression. Saying it out loud, he realised how much it sounded like his speech in Snoke’s throne room. At least the ghosts of Jedi past had confirmed this and Rey could see it wasn’t just his own ambitions at play.

“I don’t know what to say, Ben,” Rey turned her face away. “I mean, everything I have fought for… Everything your mother fought for… It was for the Jedi to bring this war to an end so we could ensure peace. So, no Jedi… what was the point of all this? Of all my training?” Rey said hopelessly.

“Don’t you see, Rey? You will still wield the Force. You have been training to become a powerful Force user, not a Jedi, not a Sith like your grandfather. You and I will wield the Force to bring balance, not to win a war for either side. There can be no sides any longer, just the peace that only balance can bring. We must do the will of the Force, surely you saw that in what I’ve shown you?” he said gently, hoping that Rey did see the truth of it.

“This is a lot to take in, Ben. What you’re saying makes a lot of sense. But then I think of all I’ve been through – all we’ve been through and… I don’t know. It’s a lot…” she trailed off. Ben took her hand and rubbed it thoughtfully, willing her to feel how much he loved her. That he would give his life Force for her and their son. “Ben,” she said after a few minutes.

“Mhmmmm,” he replied.

“I want you to come home!” She said, which was something he hadn’t expected her to say. “I can’t have this baby without you here. I want you to experience this pregnancy with me,” she said longingly. She was almost 6 months along. He had missed more than half of her pregnancy, had not even been physically close to her since the night their son had been conceived.

“Oh, Rey! I want to be with you more than anything..”

“Then come!” Rey interrupted. “I’m getting too big to continue training Finn anyway. Someone is going to have to help me,” she said simply.

“I don’t want to train Finn!” he said, scrunching up his nose in what Rey thought was the most adorable way. “The last time he saw me, he tried to attack me!”

“You boys will get along just fine.” Rey said in a dangerous tone of voice, inviting no argument.

“Do I have to?” he whined, sounding incredibly like a little boy.

“Ben Solo! I am not having this child without you. Finn needs training, I’m getting to a point where I can’t even climb a hill without getting exhausted. I need you, and whether Finn can see it or not, he’s going to need you too! And anyway, in all aspects, you are more experienced than I am in the way of the Force,” she hoped her compliment would sway him, “Don’t you want to feel our son kicking against your hand… your real hand?” She said, twisting his arm further. He looked at her with such longing at that, she knew she had won. “Come home to me sweetheart, I don’t want to be apart any longer! I’m on Ahch-To. I’ll show you how to get here,” She said eagerly, closing her eyes and giving him a map to her location through the bond.

“I just need to take care of something here, but I’ll be with you soon. I can’t wait to see you sweetheart!” his face glowed, shining with love and adoration. Rey leaned forward and kissed him to seal the promise. Then she severed the bond.

_____________________  
Ben’s first order of business was to assess the damage done to the Executioner while he had been unconscious. He walked onto the bridge with purpose, many seemed surprised to see him alive.

“General Kelthar,” he called out.

“Sir! I’m glad to see you are awake,” Kelthar said honestly. “Is it wise for you to be up and about yet?” he asked. In times past, this would have angered Kylo, but Kylo was no more.

“Yes, I’m well enough… thank you,” Ben said awkwardly. It was difficult being nice to people. “What’s the status of the Executioner?” he said, swiftly changing the subject.

“Well, Sir, the bow of the ship has been compromised and we require structural repairs. Furthermore, the main orbital canon has been destroyed, Sir, but the Kyber crystal is still in tact.”

“Of course, it would be too easy to just blow Exegol up,” he said sarcastically.

“Also, Sir, our bomber compliment is at three quarter strength. We took heavy losses. We will need time to repair the remaining small craft and for the crew compliment to recover,”

“I see,” Ben said, resisting the urge to screw his eyes up as he thought on what to do. He’d almost forgotten how to show expression on his face in all his years as Kylo Ren, and now it would seem expressions came far too easily. The Supreme Leader wasn’t supposed to feel more than anger, hatred, and even superiority. He could feel that he had become more humanised since losing his anchor to the dark side. “We need to find a place where we can get the necessary items to fix up the ship…” he said, deep in thought.

“The safest place that I can think of, Sir, is Corellia.”

“Yes,” Ben replied, not fond of possibly bumping into his Uncle Wanwo… he hadn’t thought of Lando Calrissian since childhood, and the thought of seeing him again was not a pleasant one. As it was, he was dreading seeing Chewie, trying to explain _why_ he had murdered his father. But there was no alternative, he thought, pacing. They had to buy themselves some time, fix the ship and, he hoped, keep Rey safe until she had at least had the baby. “Yes,” he repeated, “Do it. I will be leaving for some time, but I will stay in touch. I have some business to take care of before we face the Emperor.”

“Very good, Sir,” Responded General Kelthar, “Will you be replacing your lightsaber?” Ben was surprised at the astuteness of the General’s observation skills.

“Yes… something like that,” Ben responded. “But first, I would like to finish addressing the troops. Open a ship-wide comm link, General” he commanded.

“Yes, Sir.” Kelthar said, and did so.

“First Order: As you are undoubtedly aware, we have been betrayed by the Emperor. His goal is total annihilation of the galaxy as we know it, not order, as we were led to believe. Once we reach our destination, those of you who feel that you cannot face the might of the Sith Eternal are welcome to leave. But for the rest of you, know that we will fight for what we believe in until our last breath. This galaxy needs order, and we are the ones who can bring it. I will not let this betrayal go unpunished!” He roared into the comm link. Handing it back to the General, he nodded, and said with sincerity, “I will see you soon, General. I trust your judgement. I will communicate with you as soon as I can. Good luck.” He said, turning to leave for his TIE fighter.

“Thank you, Sir. Good luck to you too!” Said the General in response.

As Ben entered the coordinates into his TIE fighter after making sure he had everything he needed for the journey, he heard the General give the command over the comm link, “All stations prepare for hyperspace jump.”

Ben’s heart leapt in his chest as he took off from the hangar. Ben was going home. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben comes home to Rey, who's overjoyed to see him. Chewie and Finn? Not so much.
> 
> Lots and lots of nookie in this one, but those 3 sections are marked with *________* for those who want to skip that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so I think this is our longest chapter yet and it took quite a lot of time to write. We're going to take a few days off writing, it's getting a bit much. Our story is actually almost at its end, so don't worry, we won't just disappear. There's a lot of smut in this chapter because hell, they haven't physically seen each other in months, they're young and in love. We've marked it for those who don't enjoy that so they can skip it.
> 
> I had a bit of a struggle connecting to this chapter. Yes all of this is make believe, but we've done so much research and worked hard to at least stay in the realm of what's possible according to canon. I dunno, this just felt the furthest away from that for me, but we've talked about it and we're going to bring it back to more along the lines of what happened in TROS.
> 
> Also, yes, Ben wears socks inside his shoes because despite having been a blood thirsty maniac desperate to rule the galaxy, he was actually raised right lol.
> 
> Here's a little Reylo image that we all needed ;)

* * *

It felt like it took ages for Ben’s new TIE Silencer to get to Ahch-To. He could hardly contain the odd feeling of excitement when he saw the red flashing light on the dash, indicating that he was about to reach his destination. He could not help but smile when he saw the planet appear in the viewport. _I am finally going to see my family,_ he thought. The trip down to the surface was quick but he thought it better to arrive discreetly. Ben shrouded his presence with the Force.

He landed on the far side of the island, grabbed his gear and made the trek towards Rey’s hut. He felt rather silly sneaking around the island just to surprise his wife, but it would be worth it he muttered to himself as he thought of her smile, her loving hazel eyes, her beautiful voice, everything about Rey. Reaching Rey’s hut, he made sure no one was around and entered quickly, shutting the door.

He placed his gear on the small table and looked around at the modest room, there was a bed a desk, a chair and a crude hearth in the middle of the room. He ran his hands over the edge of the bed and thought to himself, _I can’t believe this is how she has been living,_ then he remembered the hardships that she had had to overcome and the resilience she had shown when they were still enemies. All he could do was admire the woman that was now his wife _._ He hadn’t realised how long he might have to wait for her. A few hours in and Ben began to become agitated and restless. He was not used to just _waiting around,_ he was a man of action. As the day came to an end and the sun shone softly through one of the windows of the hut, Ben could feel Rey’s presence as she approached. His heart swelled in excitement and like a typical Solo, he decided to be mischievous. He hid behind the door and waited for Rey to enter. He heard her call back to someone,

“I am just going to rest for a bit then I’ll join you for dinner.”

The door swung open and as soon as Rey was inside and the door closed, Ben quietly said, “Honey, I’m home!” Rey swung around instinctively with her saber at the ready, but dropped it immediately and let out a little squeal of joy. She jumped into his arms and started kissing him passionately. When she finally pulled away, tears of joy were streaming down her face.

“I am so glad you’re here! I’ve missed you so much!” She said, burying her head into his chest. She held onto him as if she were afraid he wasn’t real and would disappear at any moment. Ben was at a loss for words. Rey was absolutely glowing and even more beautiful since he saw her last. He lifted her head and wiped the tears away.

“I am real, sweetheart, and I’m here to stay. I swear it,” he said solemnly, then kissed her fiercely for several long minutes.

“You must be tired,” Rey said softly, eventually withdrawing just enough to speak.

Ben smiled and nodded. Rey led him to the bed. He was acutely aware of the presence of both his wife and his son. When they lay down, Rey nestled her back tightly against his chest, he placed his hand over her belly and felt the life force of their son. Suddenly and unexpectedly, a wave of belonging washed over him. Sleep took them quickly and he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so safe.

*_________*

Ben woke with a fright as he felt something brush against his nether regions, Rey giggled at the sight of his expression.

“Don’t be so surprised, my love. You’ve been gone for so long. Besides, you were hard already… Dreaming about me?” She winked, something he had never seen her do, ”I’m just helping my husband out,” she smiled mischievously and continued to stroke his member gently, cupping his balls with her other hand. Ben stammered,

“Re…Rey…” his head went totally blank as she lowered herself along the bed. He could see her every thought, her intentions, it was like watching a dirty holo. Rey slowly peeled his boots, socks, pants and then his underwear off him, freeing his hard-on. She licked her lips hungrily at the sight of the centre of her desire. She decided to prolong his suffering and began by placing slow, wet, open mouthed kisses to the inside of each thigh, working her way higher, then bypassing his bulge to kiss where his thigh joined his hip on either side of his now throbbing member. Ben groaned softly, careful not to give his presence away to the other inhabitants of the island.

Without warning, Rey lowered her mouth to his bulge, taking as much as she could into her mouth. The heat and pleasure was all that he could think of, “Oh kriff Rey!” he grunted. She stopped and looked at him, smiling naughtily. There was a hunger in her eyes that he had never seen, communicating everything she wanted to do without saying a word. He was helpless as she started sucking him off, the mere sight of her head bobbing up and down drove him crazy, physically and mentally. With every touch of her tongue and motion of her mouth he felt unimaginable pleasure. She was in control and it was driving him stark raving mad. He desperately wanted to rip off her clothes and plunge into her depths. She sloppily kissed the sides and underside of his penis, licking the top of his dribbling cock like a delicacy, then placing him in her mouth as she continued to suck and slide her sinful mouth down on him.

She was in his head, _Oh Kriff Ben! I missed you so much my love!_ He heard her say over the bond, at the same time moaning gently like the only thing that brought her pleasure was sucking him off. He noticed that she had lowered her other hand into the depths of her own clothing, and was clearly rubbing her clit, giving pleasure to them both. She could sense he was getting close, she had already climaxed. He was about to moan loudly when a knock came at the door.

“Rey, it’s dinner time” came Chewie’s low growl through the other side of the door.

 _Oh kriff! If he finds me here now, he’ll rip my head off!_ Ben thought. Rey’s voice came through the bond, _but it’s worth it, isn’t it?_ Her pace quickened and he literally couldn’t think of anything else. He had to keep his composure, if he made a sound now, Chewie would break down the wall and kill him. Rey was inside his head and he could see that the danger of the situation intensified her desire. She took his full length in her mouth, repeatedly sucking him with such intent he had no choice but to hold on to something, he was lost in the pleasure. The only thing that existed was Rey and the sensation of her small, sweet, hot mouth on his cock. _Oh Force! I’m going to explode, Rey!_ This drove Rey to move her mouth faster with a singular purpose.

Ben’s entire body went stiff as he exploded in Rey’s mouth. She drank every last drop of his spend, sucking on him through his orgasm. With every twitch of his cock, a new wave of pleasure exploded across his body. Then, she laved him clean with her wicked little tongue until he was pink, and nearly hard again. Ben returned to his senses to see his wife beaming with the knowledge that she had just blown his mind as well as his cock. He knew there was no point trying to deny it. He was also aware that he had a sheepish grin plastered on his face that he couldn’t manage to get rid of.

*__________*

The knock at the door came again “Rey, are you okay? it’s dinner time,” came Chewie’s growl through the other side of the door, more urgently than before.

Rey responded, “Yes, Chewie, I’m coming,” she winked at Ben again. He could see that she was really pleased with herself. The thought of what she’d just done to him without another soul any the wiser gave her such immense satisfaction that he was half tempted to bend her over and wipe that look off her face. But he realised that he was still recovering from the effects of Rey taking care of him, it would have to wait.

Rey rose and briefly pressed a chaste kiss to his lip, “I’ll bring you some food, you must be starving, my love,” she whispered. Then she turned to leave, but before closing the door, she spoke through the bond, _I love you Ben Solo._

 _I love you too_ , Ben answered, the look on his face clearly echoing his declaration.

Rey wasn’t gone too long and came back with a delicious bowl of broth that had the mark of Chewie’s cooking. Ben hadn’t realised how hungry he was. Rey watched him adoringly as he ate. She couldn’t help just staring at him, amazed that he was actually here, she had missed him for so long and she instinctively touched her belly.

“Ben, give me you your hand, _he’s_ kicking” she said with joy, her face beaming. Ben felt their son kick and he felt overwhelming love for his unborn son and his beautiful wife, _this is the miracle of the Force_ , he thought to himself.

Ben quickly finished his supper and looked around the room again, “This place doesn’t exactly look comfortable, sweetheart” he remarked.

Rey shrugged, “I grew up on Jakku, this is perfectly fine for me.” Ben looked at her more intently, he sensed that she was exhausted. “Don’t read my mind!” She scolded him. He looked at her with concern,

“I’m sorry Rey, I’m just worried about both of you. I’ve been gone so long, and you’ve had to go through so much without me here… in the strictest sense” he added, seeing that she wanted to put him at ease. They spent most of the night talking about their child and the possible future that could be theirs, but they couldn’t ignore the danger that lay between them and this future.

“Ben, what are we going to do about the Emperor and when… it’s time” she rubbed her taught belly pensively. Ben took her hand in both of his and said,

“I was thinking about that while you were away for dinner. Frankly, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time now. I think I know what to do… There’s Maz… and Takodana” he smiled, remembering that fateful day that he had met Rey and had swept her up into his arms unconscious as he carried her to his ship. Even then he had felt a bond with her. “She’s always been really trustworthy and fair - and she always gave me extra sweets when I was a boy,” he added, smiling with something close to nostalgia. Rey wanted to hear more about when he was a boy, what his life was like, but instead he continued, “We can try to get a message to her and she can help us. I know it’s not ideal, sweetheart… but we could leave the baby with her when the time comes to face Palpatine,” he said suddenly very seriously.

Rey looked at him with a mixture of joy and sadness, “Ben… I’m scared…” Rey took a deep breath as if to will herself to get the next sentence out, “not of death, a little of giving birth… but mostly that our child will grow up alone thinking that we didn’t love him,” Ben hugged her tenderly and took her hand in his, pulling her close and holding her tightly against his chest.

“Rey, the future is undecided and we must follow the will of the Force, but our child will definitely know how much we love him… and each other,” They sat silently in each other’s embrace for some time. “I’ve got it!” Ben said unexpectedly, giving Rey a huge fright.

“Ben!” She retorted with a slight frown on her face. Ben grabbed her hand and motioned him to follow her “Ben, wait!” She protested, but she could sense his single-minded determination and decided to just follow him. _You’re heading for the falcon!_ She said through the bond nervously

“That’s the plan!” he replied softly, his voice filled with excitement.

She wondered how he knew where it was, but he no doubt had read her mind. _We need to talk about that_ , she said severely over the bond, cocking an eyebrow.

 _Sorry, love, but you can be mad at me later, just let me show you!_ He replied. They quickly arrived at the Falcon and Ben nimbly punched in the codes to gain access to the ship.

Rey thought to him, _what about Chewie?_ Ben smiled and quipped _Oh, not even a proton bomb can wake him, trust me, I once tried…_ his eyes were sparkling with mischief and excitement. Rey was rather taken aback, Ben was really different, more… like his father. She rather liked this side of him and enjoyed the risk of skulking around the Falcon, _but for what?_ She thought to herself. In Reply, Ben’s voice came across the bond, _patience Rey_.

They slowly went down the corridor walking stealthily, stepping over tools and parts strewn across the floor. It was clear from the mess that Chewie had been spending his days getting the falcon fighting fit. Ben remembered when he was young how he and Chewie worked on the ship together, for a moment he felt pure joy and then he was overcome with grief, he could only imagine what Chewie had felt when he murdered his father.

Finally, they made their way to a sealed door. Rey looked at him puzzled. Over the bond she said to him, _this door won’t open. Chewie said it has been sealed off and it can’t be opened._ Ben smiled at her and replied, _that’s not exactly true, this was my parent’s quarters when they travelled._ With that he entered a code and the door opened with a mechanical whirr.

It was a simply decorated room with a double sleeper bunk, a small dresser, a comdesk and an en-suite refresher. Ben took her hand and walked in, “This isn’t anything fancy, but this is definitely better than the hut… plus you can shower in peace,” he said softly and walked over to the comdesk and pressed a button. This caused a hologram to pop up of Han and Leia. They had left Ben a message wishing him luck with his Jedi training and reminded him that they loved him. Ben looked pensively at the message then turned to Rey. “Let’s do the same. It’s not nearly as good as our child having us around, but, if we don’t… make it, let’s leave him a message.” With this he touched Rey’s belly and smiled warmly. Rey started crying softly,

“Oh Ben, you’re so wonderful!”

Ben set up the holorecorder and they sat down on the bed. He looked at Rey and asked, “Are you ready?” Rey smiled and nodded.

She started the message, “My dearest son, we’re leaving you this message… just in case…” her voice trailed off,

“…in case we die.” Ben completed her sentence. He hugged Rey, he could feel the turmoil inside of her. “My boy, we just wanted to let you know that if we’re not there, it’s not because we didn’t want to or that we didn’t love you! Nothing less than death would keep us from you! It’s because we love you so much, even before you were born, that we had to make sure you grow up in a galaxy that is safe and free. You come from a long line of Force users,” Ben said, his voice a mixture of sadness and pride. Hearing Ben being so open and vulnerable gave Rey the strength to speak,

“We love you, son, just know that what we do, we do it for you and that if there was any other way your father and I would have done it. But… you are more important to us than anything, we didn’t ask for this danger, but know that we’ll do anything in our power to keep you safe! We have to do this.”

They signed off, “May the force be with you!”

“We will always love you!”

With that, Ben cut the holo recording and turned to Rey. “Now he will know he is loved, sweetheart,” he said and placed his hand on her belly. The baby suddenly kicked as if to acknowledge that he understood. Rey leaned in and kissed him tenderly. When she pulled back, her eyes were full of emotion and she said,

“Thank you! Thank you for understanding. I love you!” Ben smiled and leaned his forehead against hers.

After holding her for a while Ben suddenly got up and went to the dresser, “I am sure there should be something more comfortable for you to wear. Maybe that will help you get a better night’s rest. Why don’t you take a quick shower and then we can sleep,” Rey was absolutely giddy at the idea of sleeping in the same bed as Ben again.

With this he hauled out a stack of women’s pyjamas. Rey looked at the pile of clothes and thought of Leia, slightly sad, but happy that she had such amazing memories of her. Rey realised that Leia must have been pregnant at some point during her travels on the Falcon as she quickly found a night slip that fit and got undressed and headed for the refresher. Ben looked through the dresser to see if he could find anything to change into. He opened the bottom drawer of the dresser and there was an envelope with his name on it. The letter was from his father.

_Ben_

_if you’re reading this, I hope you have turned from the dark side. I knew that when we went to Starkiller Base that there might be a chance to redeem you. I hoped that I could give you these clothes in person, I’ve had them for some time. They reminded me of you. Just know that regardless of what you turn out to be, I have and always will love you!_

_P.S Please take care of Chewie, if I am dead he will take it very hard._

_Love,_

_Dad_

Ben’s eyes filled with tears, but also joy knowing that despite what Palpatine had filled his mind with, his parents had never given up on him. It hurt to think of all the time he had wasted, and the dreadful way in which he had been manipulated, which had resulted in his father’s unnecessary death. He hauled out a beige and white Jedi robe with black pants, a black cloak with matching leather gloves, and an equipment girdle. He also found a pair of matching comfortable boots. He quickly tried everything on and it fit perfectly. He couldn’t help but smile and be thankful. It felt as if he had finally gotten rid of the last vestiges of Kylo Ren. Ben didn’t realise that Rey was standing behind him, just staring at him with a huge smile on her face.

“I really like it, _Master Solo”_ she said, her eyes playful.

Ben looked her up and down. The night slip hugged her tightly in all the right places and he couldn’t believe how amazingly perfect she looked. He walked over and passionately kissed her, a continuation of their earlier greeting. When he pulled back, he smiled and said, “We’re quite a pair.”

Rey smiled, “It seems so. Can we sleep soon? I’m absolutely exhausted!” she pleaded.

*__________*

Ben suddenly swept her up in his arms as he had one done on Takodana, laying her gently down on the bed. “I know what will make you sleep better,” he said wickedly with that Solo charm. He slid his hand up her leg and under her slip. Her body responded automatically to his touch. She let out a gasp of enjoyment as he found her clit and started gently rubbing it in achingly slow circles. It began to swell and become hard at his touch and he felt a shiver run up her body, causing her nipples to pebble underneath the satin. She started convulsing as she orgasmed. “Wow!” Ben replied with a huge grin on his face. Rey shot him a fake withering glance, this was her chance to tease him,

“Don’t be so smug, big boy. I’m pregnant, and this is normal…” Her eyes flickered with delight and mischief.

“Oh really?” Ben said as if accepting the challenge. He raised her slip over her hips and lowered her under garments. He lowered his head in between her legs, inhaling the sweet, musky scent of her arousal. His hands wandered over her protruding stomach, across her sides, down her lower back and under her bottom, where he squeezed and kneaded as he lowered his mouth to her wet slit.

“Oh Ben! Careful…it…it’s SENSITIVE…” she squealed in ecstasy. Ben had missed her smell and her taste. He languidly traced her vaginal lips and the ridge of her clit with his tongue. He felt her body quiver at his touch and her pleasure filled him with electricity. He licked her squarely on her clit and started to move his head side to side, increasing and decreasing the speed as her body responded. He alternated between sucking and licking the tight, hard bundle of nerves, only stopping to move his tongue down to enter her and taste her more fully. He listened to the sharp and raspy breathing of his beloved in between moans. It wasn’t long before she was bucking her hips, smashing her mound into his face with increased vigour, her voice begging for more in his head.

 _I know, my love_ , he replied, _come for me sweetheart. Come as many times as your sweet little pussy needs to…_

“Oh Kriff! Ben! What are you doing to me?!” Rey’s skin felt electric all over, every lick from Ben sending pleasure coursing all over her body. She grabbed her breasts, fondling herself as Ben sucked her. Despite what he was doing to her, she could feel his tenderness, even in this. It made her feel special, like she was the only person in the world. Suddenly, her mind went blank and her body started convulsing uncontrollably. She let out a guttural groan of ecstasy as she orgasmed again, white hot.

When she had somewhat regained her breath, Ben had already changed her position and slid his fingers into her hot, soaking wet snatch. A moan escaped her mouth as his fingers slipped into her without any resistance, her body begging him to take her. She was losing control, all that existed in this moment was pleasure and love. She thrust her hips uncontrollably as Ben’s fingers slid in and out of her, every stroke taking her to a higher plane of pleasure, her body so hot she thought she was going to burst into flames. “More, More, More!” She begged, “Don’t stop!” She yelped. Ben’s movements sped up, his fingers hitting her most sensitive spot. The room filled with squelching sounds as his hand smacked into her hot wet pussy. Rey was only conscious of his fingers, the sensations he was causing, and the heat that was overtaking her, she had somehow left her body behind and had flown into the sun. Then, without warning she tipped over the edge and her body was overtaken by another earth shattering orgasm, she saw stars behind her eyelids. Every vein in her body pulsed with what he had done to her. She lay there bonelessly, unable to thank him, to tell him she loved him. There was no need. The exhaustion and the effects of Ben’s bedtime remedy had had its effect, she soon slipped off into sleep.

Ben gently kissed his wife on the forehead, _I am so lucky to have you, thank the Force,_ he thought _._ He pulled her slip back down over her and covered her with the sheets. He then headed for the refresher - he needed to take a shower to cool off.

*__________*

He roughly knew what time Chewie got up and he needed to be off the ship before then. He understood the Wookie culture from the time he had spent with his father and Chewie on the Falcon. He quickly got dressed in his new clothes and exited the room. He knew what he had to do and it was better if Rey wasn’t present. He stepped off the Falcon and knelt in the clearing near the falcon, reaching out to the Force to reinforce his body. He knew that the only way he could make it right with Chewie was to offer no resistance. There was a chance that he could be hurt or even die, so he needed to be prepared. He knew it would be well deserved. _I don’t deserve a second cha_ nce, he thought.

As soon as Ben finished his preparations, as if on cue, Chewbacca came down the ramp of the Falcon. As soon as he saw Ben, he let out an intense growl of pure anger. He charged Ben without further warning and his big fury fist connected with Ben’s right cheek. It felt like the force of 10 men had struck him, the pain radiated through his entire body as he was sent rolling across the clearing. Ben got up and knelt again. Seeing this, Chewie charged him again and grabbed him by his collar and lifted him clear off the ground.

“WHY AREN’T YOU FIGHTING BACK?!” Chewie growled.

“Chewie, I am not worthy of living. I have disgraced my family and you! I am at the mercy of your judgement,” Ben said slowly, earnestly, hanging his head in shame.

“YOU KILLED MY BEST FRIEND! MY FAMILY…! YOUR FAMILY! I SHOULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!” Chewie growled, his voice resonating anger and sadness.

“You should, Chewie, it’s what I deserve! Kylo murdered my father and now Ben Solo has to live with the regret of that action for the rest of his life,” Ben responded with tears in his eyes.

Suddenly, Chewie’s grip loosened but he didn’t let go of Ben entirely. Ben looked up at Chewie, “I am _so sorry_ , Chewie, I know you loved me like a son and I abandoned you! I abandoned all of my family, but I’m back to make amends… I can’t change what I did in the past, but I can speak with my actions going forward,” he paused, “…I’m asking you to give me a second chance…” There was a moment when he couldn’t read Chewie’s expression. They faced one another silently. “Please, Chewie! Let me show you…” Ben pleaded. With a slight nod of ascent from Chewie, he used the Force to show Chewie his mind, his memories, his torture in the dark side, the lies and manipulation, his turn from the dark side and the remorse and sorrow that followed him constantly. He hadn’t meant to, but it was hard not to think of Rey, of their baby, their love. Chewie suddenly put him down.

“You’re the father of Rey’s cub!” Chewie gargled, surprise etching his furry features. He had not known. He let go of Ben entirely and then did the last thing Ben expected - he gave Ben a proper bear hug, “I missed you! It’s so good to have you back!” Chewie growled.

Ben smiled, “It’s so good to be back, Chewie” he said.

“Do Rey and Finn know you’re here?” Chewie asked.

“Rey does, she’s in my parent’s room, sleeping” Ben replied.

Chewie smiled, “Your father would be so proud!” he said and started to laugh.

Ben smiled, “I guess,” he said gently as Chewie started a fresh fire to warm them up.

Chewie turned around “You better take care of her, young man, or you will have to deal with me!” Chewie growled rather more menacingly than he expected.

“I would rather die than let her get hurt, Chewie! I love her.” Ben replied seriously. “Chewie… I want to hear everything you have to say to me.. but first I need to go to the temple. I need some alone time, I hope that’s ok?” he asked tentatively. Chewie responded by waving him off in his usual unaffected manner, and got on with preparing his breakfast.

Ben finally reached the temple at the top of the stairs, it was still partially cloudy and the sun had just started entering the temple. He noticed the mosaic in the middle of the temple representing balance and harmony. He felt the pull of the Force all around him and knelt. He felt compelled to meditate, reach into the Force. He wasn’t exactly sure how much time he had spent in meditation but suddenly he was yanked to consciousness by Finn’s loud voice. “What the HELL are you doing here, KYLO?! ” he yelled angrily, his saber at the ready.

Ben got up and turned to face Finn, “I am here because Rey asked me to be here… and I would prefer it if you call me Ben,” he said calmly

“Like hell you are! You killed Han!” Finn yelled and charged Ben with savage intent. Ben saw that his eyes had glazed over and that in this moment, he had given in to the dark side in his anger. Ben knew the only way he was going to get through to Finn was to best him and show him he meant no harm.

Finn’s blade came swinging down wildly yet Ben quite easily anticipated his opponent’s move and dodged it without much effort. Finn swung around, dashed towards Ben throwing consecutive blows with the clear intent of killing him, he could sense the dark side and Finn’s lust for blood. Ben used the force to manipulate the movement of the blade, ensuring that not a single swing found its mark. Ben realised the longer this went on, the more Finn would delve into the dark side and he definitely wasn’t ready for it. He was strong, but not as strong as Rey or himself, and he was needed – another Force user would always be of benefit. Ben reached out his hand and froze Finn in his tracks and Force pulled the saber out of his hand.

This caused Finn to come to his senses. Ben looked at Finn critically and said coldly, “If I wanted to kill you, you would already be dead. Besides, it is not the will of the Force for you to attack an unarmed man!” He let Finn go and handed the saber back to him.

Finn growled menacingly, “I saw what you are going to do! You will take Rey’s son from her! I can’t let you do that!” Ben saw the concern Finn had for his wife and replied with a smile,

“FN-2187” at this Finn glared at him, but he continued unaffected, “you’re a good friend to Rey, but you’re new to the Force and this place is a Force nexus. Its connection runs deep and it’s easy to get lost. There are many futures ahead if us… you did indeed see a future of what might happen, but that is only one possibility. I know you don’t trust me - I don’t deserve your trust, but I swear on my life that I will not let any harm come to Rey or my child!” The look in his eyes confirmed his words.

This seemed to placate Finn for the moment. “Fine, but I will be keeping my eye on you,” he said gruffly. Ben smiled,

“I would hope so because, starting tomorrow, I will be training you. Rey needs to rest.”

“WHAT!” Finn exclaimed, vestiges of the anger returning.

Ben gave Finn a stern look, “I am not enamoured with the idea either, but we don’t have a choice.” He sighed, “And if we are to stand a chance against the Emperor, the only way is for me to teach you. Like it or not, you’re stuck with me!” he said coolly. “I have made so many, _too many_ mistakes on my road to this point, If all I do is prevent you from making the same mistakes, I would consider that a great success. However, we are the start of a new order and someday you might have an apprentice of your own. You need to be ready to take on the task of moulding another,” Ben said thoughtfully.

Finn looked at Ben rather freaked out “M…Me? Train someone?”

Ben smirked, ”Yes, FN-21… Finn. Did you think new Force users would just fall out of the sky…?” He nodded at Finn, “I should check on Rey. I don’t want her to worry. Neither do you…” he said, hardly inviting any argument. Finn said nothing, his mouth a tight line.

With that Ben left.

When he reached the Falcon, Rey was already awake and outside enjoying a cup of caf. She was wearing a loose fitting green dress. _She looks radiant_ , Ben thought. He casually greeted them both and Rey immediately got up and walked over to him. He could tell that she was happy to see him, but he could discern some concern in her countenance, _Are you okay? Chewie told me the two of you had it out,_ she said over the bond.

 _Perfectly, I fortified my body with the Force before he hit me,_ he replied. She smiled, then kissed him, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm.

“Ready for breakfast, Ben?” Chewie rumbled, interrupting their private conversation.

“Yes please! I’m famished! I have missed your cooking” Ben replied with a huge smile. They sat down and enjoyed a delicious meal together. Ben looked at Chewie, “Say, Chewie, why didn’t you open my parent’s room for Rey?” he enquired. Chewie laughed,

“Well, you see, your parents and I went to Corellia, your mom was on a diplomatic mission for the senate at the time and well, let’s just say I had a few Nova blasters too many and walked in on your parents… well you know. After that day, your dad changed the code and never told me...” Chewie groaned, unable to keep a straight face. Ben felt incredibly uncomfortable. Rey almost keeled over with laughter.

Finn joined them shortly after, despite his scepticism, he seemed eager to talk. At first, conversation was stilted and awkward. Rey tried her best to help her friends and her husband find common ground, knowing that it was important if they were to somehow get through the months ahead. Finn seemed to eventually ease up, conversation coming a bit more naturally, but Rey knew him well enough to know that he still didn’t trust Ben, whatever had passed between them earlier. Now and then she would see him calculating this situation, probably weighing up the best way to kill Ben in his sleep.

They spent a large portion of the day talking, Chewie even had them laughing, he could be quite funny when he wanted to be.

Ben could not believe it, this felt so normal, a world away from the dark side. He couldn’t remember what it was like to have friends, he had been an unnaturally quiet boy. This was a luxury he had never been afforded. More amazing yet, he had his wife by his side.

That evening Ben and Rey retired early to their quarters on the Falcon. They fell asleep together and, for a second night in a row, Rey didn’t struggle to fall asleep. Before nodding off, she snuggled against his chest and felt the warmth of his presence. She was amazed at how safe she felt with him.

The next morning, Ben got up early and kissed his wife goodbye before heading out for the day, _well here goes nothing_ , he thought when he saw Finn waiting on the other side of the clearing”

The men greeted each other curtly and had breakfast without another word. “Finn, based on your poor performance yesterday, I think we will focus on lightsaber training today” Ben said coldly.

“Fine,” was all that Finn replied, clearly furious. The rest of the day, the men spent sparring, with Finn clearly being outmatched by Ben.

“I don’t understand!” Finn ground out as if it hurt to admit, “I have been training so hard for months now, and I look like a fool next to you!” Finn exclaimed in utter frustration. Ben looked at Finn,

“Well, your strikes are driven by your anger and hatred towards me and it clouds your judgement - of the situation and your connection to the force. I am not your enemy! You need to let me train you or you won’t improve.” Ben said grimly.

Rey’s voice filled his head over the bond, _Dinner is ready, my love_.

“Tomorrow we will focus on Force training. Enough for one day, dinner is ready,” Ben said, bringing their training to an end.

“How in the world do you know that?” Finn replied indignantly.

“When you are well versed in the Force, _youngling,_ you will be able to sense these things,” Ben retorted, hardly able to contain his laughter.

Finn muttered something under his breath and the men made their way back to the Falcon.

*___________*

After dinner, Ben excused himself and went to go freshen up. He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, but the hot shower felt better than any shower he ever had whilst he was still under the influence of the dark side. He stepped out of the shower and dried himself off briskly. When he walked into the room, he stopped in his tracks - the lights were dimmed and Rey was on the bed, naked. The low light accentuated every soft and subtle curve of her amazingly gorgeous body.

“Well, my darling, stop gawking and get over here,” her voice tender and full of expectation. He quickly traversed the small room and got onto the bed next to her. He leaned his body into hers, craving the feel of her soft breasts against his chest. He grabbed her by the small of her back pulling her close to him, desperate to have her as close as humanly possible. He yearned to have her even closer. He was intoxicated by her smell, her touch, her hot breath on his skin. It was making him hunger for her, hunger for more. He wanted to pin her to the wall and have his way with her.

Suddenly, Rey pulled away. “You were a good boy today and good boys deserve a reward,” she said, her voice filled with sexual innuendo. Before he could respond, she Force pushed him back onto the bed. “Now be a good boy and stay on your back,” she said whilst she straddled his face and leaned forward to take his cock into her mouth. Instinctively, Ben’s head tilted backwards into the pillow, _Oh gods! Will I ever get used to this?_ He thought. Rey’s voice playfully came through the bond, silkily, _I hope not! Help a girl out..._ Ben grabbed her ass and pulled her pussy close to his face and started vigorously licking her. Her reaction was intense and instant. He could feel her bobbing more intensely on his engorged member, it was like her pleasure was driving her to pleasure him more. _Rey! you’re amazing!_ Ben said through their bond. At that moment, Rey moaned loudly, lifting her head off his cock and her hand grasping his shaft tightly.

“Did you just… come?” he asked rather sheepishly.

“What do you think,” She teased. Quite nimbly Rey slid down his chest, her back still to him. She aligned her wetness with his throbbing cock and slid his entire member into her tightness. Ben let out a groan of pleasure. “Rey, you…feel amazing” she heard Ben half growl. She looked over her shoulder and saw the pleasure reflected in his eyes. “I love it when you take charge! It’s so kriffing hot Rey!” Ben choked out. Rey responded with her body, moving her hips in circles around his rod. She could feel it swelling further, filling and stretching her completely. She let out a moan of pleasure and her primal instincts took over. She leaned forward and put her hands on Ben's thick thighs and started moving her hips up and down his fully erect shaft. Every movement building the intensity of their connection, their consciousness melded together through the bond and it was like they were one. They felt each other’s pleasure with an agonising intensity. Rey was hazy with desire and she started bucking on Ben’s dick, moaning loudly. The room filled with the sound of her lustful moans and her slamming all the way down to the base of him.

“More, Oh Force, Ben! More!” She yelled. She didn’t care if anyone heard her, all that existed in this moment was them. Ben grabbed her ass forcefully and pulled it down on his penis. Rey’s entire body convulsed with the pleasure of the impact, which caused her to squirt all over his member. Her breath was laboured and heavy, “I’m…I’m Sorry” Rey said rather embarrassed, looking at the wet spot on the bed.

“It doesn’t matter,” Ben replied, not waiting for further response. He reached into the Force and lifted her up on his cock and slammed her back down.

“Oh maker!” Rey yelled delirious from the pleasure. Rey leant backwards, Ben supported her weight with his arms. She planted her feet firmly on either side. “Please, Ben! Please, my love, give me more!” Rey said in a raspy voice. Ben lifted her up and in quick succession started sliding her up and down on his throbbing member. Rey started moaning uncontrollably and bucking her hips like she wanted him deeper and harder, “Please, More!” she moaned loudly. Ben used the Force to make each impact harder, he couldn’t hold on longer, he was about to come, about to fill her. The pleasure flowed over both of them in waves. “OH KRIF, OOOOH KRIIIIF! I’M COMING!” Rey shouted wildly as she orgasmed yet again. Her convulsions sent Ben over the edge and he also was overtaken by pleasure and the feeling of Rey throbbing all around him, squeezing him as the brightness rolled over both of them. She collapsed forward between his legs. He sat up and reached for her, pulling her up into his arms, and gently fondled her breasts.

“That was amazing!” he whispered.

“Yes!” was all that Rey managed to get out.

That night Rey slept better than she had in months.

*___________*

The following morning, Ben went out early to help Chewie make the fire for breakfast. “Morning Chewie!” Ben said, stretching.

“Morning, Ben… I didn’t expect you to be up so early,” he said in Wookie, chuckling, “You certainly had an… eventful evening.”

Ben felt himself blush profusely, “Yeah… just don’t tell Rey you heard us,” he couldn’t look at Chewie, “she would be mortified!” he replied and smiled sheepishly at the ground.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn goes through his final training to become a Jedi. He must face his worst enemy... but is that Kylo Ren, or himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so we're back and ready for the final few chapters. For those who stuck around and waited, thank you so much for your patience!! <3 
> 
> Even though we took a break from writing, we didn't take a break from SW. We watched all the SW movies again, and laughed through the badness that is the prequels (well, we didn't watch Revenge of the Sith... I cried so hard in the cinema when it came out even though I knew Anakin would become Darth Vader... I couldn't go through that agony again as well as watching TROS). Yes... we watched TROS and yes, I freaking sobbed my eyes out, again. It's so. Not. Fair! Ben gets neglected then abandoned by really terrible parents; physically, mentally and verbally abused his entire life by Snoke; rejected by the girl he loves... he turns to the light and his reward? He dies. Thanks so much JJ and Kathleen Kennedy, you guys have so destroyed it. Well done. But anyway, I digress. We've been trying to stretch it out, but we finally finished the Mandalorian and holy shit! I literally cannot wait for season 2!!!! 
> 
> So, in terms of this chapter, the one thing we had to address here is that a Kyber crystal 'calls' to the person who is meant to wield it, right, but they really brushed over this in TROS (and the other 2 movies), so we've fixed it. 
> 
> Also, happy anniversary to my other half! Married for 9 years and counting :D

* * *

Finn rose with the sunrise, enjoying a delicious cup of caf as was his custom before starting his day. It had been two months since _he_ arrived and although he didn’t like the man, Finn felt somewhat grateful that he was training with Kylo Ren. _When the time comes, I will be ready to strike him down,_ Finn thought. Finn freshened up and made his way to the Falcon where he met everyone for breakfast. The usual pleasantries ensued and Finn made sure that he hid his feelings about _Kylo Ren._ Finn remembered the bloodshed and massacre that had taken place on Jakku that night, where he couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger, the brutality with which Kylo struck down the old man who he subsequently found out was _Lor San Tekka._ It still haunted him to this day. He had seen first-hand the brutality that man was capable of. He would never forget it, lest he be caught off guard. With this, Finn gave Ben a seething sideways glance.

Rey’s voice cut across Finn’s thoughts, “Finn you’re awfully quiet today, everything ok?”

Finn smiled and flat out lied, “Yes, I’m just a little tired that’s all. The training is getting harder each day. I’m going to go up to the temple to meditate so long. Meet you there… Ben.” Finn got up and left without a further word.

After breakfast Ben could see that Rey was uneasy about something and asked, _Sweetheart what’s wrong?_ Rey’s expression changed to one of concern,

_We don’t have much time and I fear…_ her thoughts trailed off, Ben moved closer and spoke in a hushed tone so that Chewie wouldn’t overhear.

“I have sensed it too. He’s being tempted by the dark side” he said seriously. _I think it is because of his hatred and mistrust of me_ Ben thought to Rey.

“What can we do?” Rey asked, her voice filled with concern.

Ben looked at Rey, knowing he wouldn’t like hearing what he had to say next, “It’s time.”

Rey knew it only meant one thing. _No! What if he is not ready?_ she replied fiercely.

Ben looked at her with steely determination, _like it or not it’s time, he has to take the last step otherwise we risk losing him to the dark side and, as much as I don’t always like him, I finally understand the torment of the possibility of losing Finn to the dark side. Unlike my Uncle, I will not allow history to repeat itself!_

Rey smiled and nodded, _May the force be with you_ she spoke through the bond. Ben tenderly kissed Rey and made his way to the temple. He knew that every Jedi in the past had had to face their fears and the darkness within. This would be no different for Finn, the longer he denied this fact the more dangerous it would become.

“Glad you decided to join me, _Master Solo,”_ Finn’s voice dripped with sarcasm, his attitude had become more rebellious and disrespectful towards Ben over the last two weeks.

Ben ignored the open attempt at hostility, sat down near Finn and placed his hand on Finn’s shoulder. “Finn, we have reached the stage where you must undergo a trial. Neither Rey nor I can or will help you. This will reveal your destiny.” Ben said very calmly but his voice carried the severity of the task that lay ahead of Finn.

Finn was taken aback by this revelation, “Does that mean my training is finally complete?” He stammered, the darkness completely absent from his countenance for a moment. Ben nodded and explained slowly,

“Yes, Finn, in a manner of speaking. From being under the tutelage of my Uncle, I know that there were various ranks and tests in the Jedi order, even though that order is dead, the testing remains essential.”

Ben paused for a moment to find the right words as he still at times struggled to find ways to express himself correctly. Ben got up and motioned for Finn to follow him.

“Well, based on the teachings of the old Jedi order, padawans would undergo a final trial to determine their readiness to become a Jedi Knight. Depending on their own personal struggles, they would face a specific test or a combination of tests. Rey and I have been sensing a growing darkness in you, Finn, and therefore your final trial is the _Trial of the Spirit._ This trial requires you to face your most dangerous enemy, _the darkness within you,”_ Ben looked off into the distant ocean as he said this, reluctant to look Finn in the eyes. “You have to face the darkness that resides within you, like with us all, but unlike the Jedi, what I have learnt is that the purpose of this exercise is not to overcome the darkness to allow you to shun it, but to become aware of its ever lingering presence and accept it. Only when you truly accept who you are will you find balance.”

Finn smiled and quipped, “Well, I thought it was going to be hard, seems easy to me.” Finn and Ben had made their way down winding stairs down to the source of the dark side on Ach-to, the Cave of Mirrors _._ They stopped at the breathing hole and Ben turned to Finn, ”Just a word of warning, Finn, do not underestimate this trial. If you fall to the dark side, I will be forced to strike you down and…” Ben hesitated, “Despite our differences… I like you. I’ll be waiting for you at the exit. May the Force be with you,” Ben said without malice. Ben motioned to Finn to jump into the cave. Finn turned around and started to protest. Ben pushed him in.

Finn felt the air getting cooler as he plummeted into the darkness, the drop wasn’t long but it didn’t matter. Finn felt like he was dropped into the depths of Hoth. His skin was getting cold and tingling, a sensation like ice covering his body gradually like corruption spreading through his veins. Then, suddenly, his body came to an abrupt halt as he hit the dark waters below. The impact felt like he was being yanked out of hyperspace. His skin felt like it was being stabbed by a thousand virbro blades all over. He felt the air leaving his body and he darted to the surface driven by sheer desperation, it felt like someone was chocking him. When he finally broke the surface, he gasped for air and took a deep breath, but to his horror there wasn’t any relief. It felt like he was being choked from the inside and the more he struggled the more the life was sucked from him. “No, no, no……NOOO!” Finn tried screaming, he heard his desperate cries reverberating in his head but the silence was deafening. Then, as quickly as it had begun, he succumbed to the depths and everything went dark.

Finn woke to find a concerned Rey staring down at him, her face racked with worry. Finn sat up and surveyed the cave, “Rey, thank…” He began, but Rey quickly got up and put her finger to her lips, indicating that he needed to be silent, and motioned that he needed to follow her. Finn got up as fast as possible and saw Rey going down the nearest tunnel. No matter what Finn tried, he couldn’t catch up with Rey, turn after turn, he quickened his pace and the more he sped up the further away she seemed to be. He always seemed to be behind Rey, the thought barged into his mind, she was always better at everything - no matter what he did he could never catch up to her. The anguish, failure and shame started overriding his other emotions. She needed to stop, he had to get her to stop or he…he would just be a defective stormtrooper, lonely and worthless, mopping floors. He could feel the fear nipping at his heals like the dark hand of his past ready to drag him back to the murky depths.

He yelled for all he was worth “REY STOP! DON’T LEAVE ME HERE!” 

This seemed to have the desired effect. Rey slowed down, turned to him and waited. Finn felt a wave of relief. As he caught up with her she darted right into an adjacent tunnel and disappeared. Finn picked up the pace, desperately scared that he would lose her and as a result be lost in this darkness forever. Finn darted round the corner, suddenly he felt like his body had hit a brick wall and he flew back from the impact, landing squarely on his back and then he bounced like an overenthusiastic Ash-rabbit, hitting the wall. He sat up dazed. His surroundings had changed and he was no longer in the cave. He was in a round chamber with intricate First Order symbols carved in a pattern on the floor, with a single door on the other side of the room. Finn shot up as fast as he could and walked rapidly to the door, his footsteps echoing the desperation in his heart to be free, fear gripping him by the throat like an unseen hand willing the life out of him.

Reaching the door, he pressed the button and with a mechanical whirr, the door slid open. On the other side stood Ben, no… Kylo Ren. He could feel it, see it… the darkness in his eyes. Kylo’s countenance was shrouded in darkness and his eyes were filled with bloodlust. Without warning, Kylo ignited his saber, filling the chamber with an intense red hue, and brought the blade down. Finn closed his eyes waiting for the heat and pain to tear him in half, but it never came. He opened his eyes and, to his surprise, he now had a lightsaber in his hands, blocking the impending strike.

Kylo hissed with murderous intent, “She is a fool to think I’ve changed!” The room filled with Kylo’s maniacal laughter.

Kylo stepped backwards, placing his weight on his back foot and brought the blade arching behind him and across Finn’s left side. Finn was able to anticipate the move and dodged it quite easily. Finn could feel anger rising in him for the betrayal and like a volcano, he was about to erupt, “I will not let you hurt her! Today you die!” Finn shouted and leapt up high, using the force and focusing it into the blade bringing the saber down straight onto the blackguard’s head. To his utter dismay, Kylo parried the attack like it was nothing and pushed Finn away like a breeze whirling a leaf about. Finn landed on his feet ready to pounce, anger now bursting from his every movement “I WILL KILL YOU!” he bellowed, his vision going red with anger, strike after strike he kept going with vicious, cold hearted intent. He could feel the power of the dark side. He didn’t care as long as he rid the world of this demon, it would be worth it. Strike after strike, the blade arced left and right but he could not find an opening. The room was filled with the hum and hissing of the lightsabers and flashes of light. Finn’s anger clouded his ability. He left himself open and managed to only just block a side swipe from Kylo, the impact felt like a charge from a Mudhorn and sent Finn flying across the room. When he spun around, it was too late, Kylo’s blade was already arcing towards him. Finn closed his eyes, waiting for the burning, the hissing, the pain and the smell of cauterised flesh, but nothing came. He heard a dull thud on the floor and opened his eyes.

Kylo’s saber had dropped to the floor and he was towering over him. His face was contorted in anguish. A lightsaber blade sticking through his heart hissing pleasantly, like it was savouring the kill. Kylo dropped silently to the floor. The loud thud from his humungous frame echoing in the chamber.

It was Rey, in that moment Finn was flooded with feelings of joy but also annoyance. _Rey saved the day again,_ his thought rang throughout the chamber as if he had spoken it. But to his shock, she wasn’t _Rey,_ her eyes were filled with darkness and the same bloodlust. Her saber was glowing red hot and her countenance was cold and distant.

”You useless weakling! I don’t know why I ever bothered wasting my time with you” Dark Rey’s voice had a soft hiss, and dripped with vitriol. The words echoed in his head like a holo-recording stuck on repeat. Suddenly, his anger rose again like an unquenchable torrent and he leapt forward, but this time he had Kylo’s blade in his hand. He was positively feral, moving like a Nexu with a single purpose, devouring its prey. Swift and agile, strike after strike he wore her down. He arced the blade left and right. The world around him consisted of the blade and his prey. All he saw was her flaws and openings and he exploited all of them. He spun and arced the blade like it was an extension of his arm, the blade as bloodthirsty as he was.

“Die… die! DIE!” He screamed, his voice feral and wild between each strike, causing Rey to shrink lower and lower into the ground as she desperately tried to defend herself. And then, just like that, it was over. He had knocked her blade out of her hand and he was ready, ready to take his vengeance and show everyone he was better.

Rey’s voice softly broke through the haze of anger pleading “Please Finn! You’re my only friend…! Why are you doing this… I have a boy… please don’t kill me… he will be all alone!” He looked down, her countenance had changed, tears streaming down her face, his friend scared and begging for her life. Finn sheathed the saber and reached out his hand to help her up.

Suddenly, there was a swish a hiss and the smell of scorched flesh. A soft thud reverberated as Rey’s head rolled from her body. Finn stared in horror, too stunned to speak or move. A shadowy cloaked figure moved closer, red saber lit.

“Your attachments make you weak!” the voice hissed, “Power awaits you if you embrace the dark side. Power greater than those who came before you!” Without warning, the figure sheathed the saber and removed the hood. Finn froze completely. The man’s face was covered in corruption and his eyes were dead… and yellow. Finn didn’t recognise the man and then the familiarity stole the air from his lungs. He fell to his knees in disbelief….it was him…

_Darth Finn’s_ voice cut across his despair like a knife. _So what is it to be weakling? Join me…or Death?_ Finn looked up at himself and somewhere deep within him there was hope as if the Force itself was giving him a lifeline. He calmed his mind and knew what he had to do. “I choose death, without darkness there can be no light, I accept who I am _,”_ Finn calmly replied. Suddenly, the whole atmosphere in the cave changed. Finn could feel that he was all alone. He looked around and he was on the ground next to the pool of water he must have fallen into, but his clothes were totally dry. He got up and looked around. In the distance he saw light. Instinctively, as if the Force was guiding him, he knew that this was an exit to the cave. When Finn finally exited the cave, he was momentarily blinded by the bright light of day. He looked around and, to his sheer amazement, not far from the mouth of the cave sat Ben meditating, but he looked different, somehow dishevelled. “Man am I glad to see you!” Finn called out with a huge smile on his face, surprising even himself. Ben looked up and Finn was surprised by the sheer relief he saw on the other man’s face. Ben smiled,

“Glad to see you made it out! You seem at peace,” he said gently, yet unable to hide the exhaustion in his eyes.

“Wow… Ben you look like you went on a Corellian pub crawl and haven’t slept in a week,” Finn quipped in his usual way, ever the class clown.

Ben rubbed his face feeling the stubble scratching the palm of his hand. Eventually he replied, “Well you’ve been in there for 5 days and as your teacher, I could not leave you” he answered.

“A week!” Finn he remarked in disbelief, “H…how?” he stammered.

“Time traverses differently between this realm and the reality in the cave,” Ben replied simply.

The men made their way back to the Falcon. They arrived _home_ as the sun set over the top spire of the temple, casting a long shadow over the island.

When Rey saw the men approaching, her face lit up like the sun and she practically ran over towards them and hugged them both in turn, repeatedly saying how glad she was that they had finally returned.

When Finn smelled the food that Chewie had prepared, he was suddenly aware that he hadn’t eaten in a week and could barely wait to sit down and eat. During the course of the evening, as expected, the topic of the cave came up. Rey asked, “So what did you Learn?” Finn instantly knew the answer as if it was lodged deep within him,

“For there to be balance, we must accept every part of ourselves, the light and the dark, that is the only way we will truly be at peace.”

Both Ben and Rey nodded, and Ben spoke, “Well done Finn, your training is complete. There is nothing more we can teach you.” Finn’s face positively beamed like a little boy who had just been handed a jar of Bespin Cloud Drops.

“Really?!” He asked, doubting what he had just heard.

Rey replied in earnest, “Yes Finn, really!” and smiled.

“Ben…” Finn began, “I should tell you what happened down there…”

“That is not for me to know, Finn. That’s between you and the Force,” Ben replied.

“No. The things you said to me… the things that I did, that I saw done to you… How it made me feel…” Finn tried to tell him.

“I suspected as much would happen, Finn,” Ben sighed, “I know it’s been hard to accept that I’m no longer Kylo Ren… It was bound to transcend into your fight against the darkness within. But, just like you accepted the dark within you and were able to balance it, so you need to accept that I am not who I once was,” Ben said, glancing briefly at Rey.

“It’s hard, man… I mean Master,” Finn spluttered, “I can’t unsee the things you did as Kylo Ren. I can’t believe you’d give it all up for a pretty pair of eyes… No offence, Rey,” he added quickly.

“Then there is one more thing that you need to understand. I didn’t give up the path to the dark side just for Rey. Don’t get me wrong,” Ben said, taking Rey’s hand and engulfing it lovingly in his own large one, “I’d fight the entire galaxy without my saber for Rey, if it came to that. But it’s so much more. Finn… all those who give themselves to the dark side, fully to the dark side, are completely corrupted - they cannot be redeemed. You’ll know it when you see it, the corruption… does something to a dark sider’s appearance, for one, their eyes turn yellow,” Ben explained.

“Yes, I saw it… down there…” Finn said, stunned.

“Well then, my friend, you must know that I never fully gave myself to the dark side. Even when I… when I took my father’s life, my emotions were thick with confusion,” Rey gently squeezed Ben’s hand, silently comforting him. “I tried to banish the light, I fought it so hard, tried to kill it but it never… I thought killing my father would kill it. It didn’t.” Ben said in a hard tone. “The last thing my father saw before he fell were my tears, how hard I was shaking. He knew what was happening within me… maybe he knew that his death would only add to my confusion. The regret… the shame…” Ben stopped abruptly, swallowing hard. He had never exposed his vulnerability to anyone other than Rey. “The light was still in me but, just as you have just done my young Jedi friend, I had to balance them. Only then could my torment end.”

“I… I think I understand. Rey once told me that Snoke was torturing you, playing games with your mind… I was once brainwashed to kill for the First Order,”

“I’m really sorry about that, Finn…” Ben said hastily.

“So were you,” Finn continued, ignoring Ben’s apology, “I managed to break free after all those years, and I guess you have too. I don’t think I can forget what I’ve seen Kylo Ren do - the pain and harm you caused… but I’d like to go forward with Ben Solo. My Master.” Finn had finally accepted something within himself. He reached across, holding his hand out to Ben, the magnitude of the gesture not lost on either men. Ben took his hand and they shook hands firmly. Ben nodded, the tell-tale sheen of tears in his eyes. They both turned in surprise to see Rey sobbing,

“Shut up! Don’t either of you dare say a word! It’s pregnancy hormones…!” Rey said tearily. 

The rest of the evening passed with the four friends chatting and enjoying each other’s company, something none of them could have foreseen.

_______________

The next morning, Finn was at breakfast earlier than usual. Chewie offered Finn a caf and they enjoyed the crisp morning air. Not long after, Ben came strolling down the ramp. “Morning,” he called out, his voice jovial.

“So, Master, what are we doing today?” Finn asked Ben.

This took Ben by surprise and he started choking on his coffee, which caused Chewie to roar with laughter. Once Ben recovered he turned to Finn, “It’s just Ben. I know I made you call me that… but that was part of the training. Finn, I’m not worthy of that title.”

“You waited a week for me to finish a trial, in my books that makes you worthy of being my friend and my master,” Finn replied and gently patted Ben on the back.

Ben smiled sheepishly not sure what to do with the compliment, “Uh… thanks Finn” and abruptly changed the topic. “Today, you’re going to learn how to build your own lightsaber, the go to weapon for every Force user” Ben stated simply.

Finn looked rather puzzled and clipped Leia’s saber from his belt and held it up as to question the lesson.

Benn nodded and explained, “Yes, you have been using that saber, but it isn’t yours. It doesn’t have a link to your Force energy. A Kyber crystal calls out to its owner. We don’t have time for you to go and hunt for a crystal now, but we will be doing the next best thing. You’ll be clearing the corruption from a bled Kyber crystal and through that action, a link should be established. I will meet you in the temple,” Ben remarked, and got up and left.

When Finn reached the temple, Ben was deep in meditation with parts of what looked like a disassembled lightsaber floating in front of him.

Finn approached Ben and knelt next to him, looking at what he was doing. The parts of the lightsaber gently floated to the ground and Ben took the Kyber crystal and handed it to Finn.

“Do you feel its anguish?” Ben asked.

Finn was overcome with the pain and grief emanating from the crystal, like he could feel the mindless slaughter it was subjected to. “Yes, I feel it calling to me, desperate to be free,” he replied his voice more strained than he expected.

“Good, now place it in front of you, focus on its presence and its pain, let your energy flow through it and cleanse it. I will leave you now and once you have completed this task come and find me” Ben stated, leaving Finn alone in the temple. It took Finn the rest of the day and what felt like all his Force energy to cleanse the crystal, but the end result was amazing! He could feel the presence of the crystal calling to him, the serenity and purpose. He held the crystal in his hand like a treasured possession and went to go show the others.

The next day Ben took Finn through the other steps of constructing his own saber and, by the end of the day, Finn succeeded. Finn eagerly pressed the button and it lit up with a brilliant white glow, hissing gently in his hand as if it were enjoying the feeling of his hand against the hilt. “This is different” he said more to himself than to Ben.

“Indeed it is, Finn, when a crystal is linked to a user in this way, the Force flows easily, and the blade feels lighter and like an extension of yourself,” Ben explained and unclipped Luke’s lightsaber from his belt and ignited it. “Shall we?” Ben asked and raised an eyebrow. Finn smiled as if in answer and ignited his blade. The resulting sparring match was a beautiful expression of grace and friendship as both men enjoyed the comradery that their physical exertion brought. 

That evening when Ben and Rey were alone in their room nestled in bed together, he struggled to sleep. Ben could sense that the time was near, and it unsettled him, he knew that this time of preparation was almost over and that they would have to face the emperor, and whatever came after that. Ben knew that he had to ensure that his family was safe, even if it cost him his life. He tucked a wayward brown lock of Rey’s hair behind her ear, softly kissing the nape of her neck and whispered, “I love you, sweetheart, you have brought meaning to my life.”

The next morning, the preparations had begun for the return to known space. Chewie was busy tightening the last bolts and doing final inspections, the Falcon was in better condition than Ben had seen her in since he was a boy. Ben found Rey looking out over the sea on a nearby hilltop and walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. _Our time here is over,_ Ben thought softly to his beloved.

“I know, I desperately wish it wasn’t, but our son won’t wait forever,” Rey said, her voice filled with joy. Ben placed his hand on her round belly and Rey intertwined her hand with his. “I never thought this would be my path” she said happily.

_Me either_ , came Ben’s voice over the bond.

The rest of the day, the four of them discussed logistics and travel arrangements. Rey, Chewie and Ben would take the Falcon, whilst Finn would fly Ben’s ship to Takodana to meet up with Maz.

That evening, they enjoyed their last meal together on Ach-To under the great expanse of sky glistening with stars like diamonds in the sky. Rey nestled close to Ben and he placed his arm around her, both wishing desperately that this moment would last forever.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey, Ben, Chewie and Finn go to Takodana so that Rey can give birth to her son. 
> 
> There are so many memories on Takodana, some sweet, some bitter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the delay in posting!! I know this is a short one, but we felt that it should really be a chapter on its own. From the next chapter, we sort of go back to a lot of the plot from the TROS movie (with changes of course).
> 
> Oh, and by the way, Atula means "without someone equal" which seemed a fitting name for our little starfighter.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos so far, you guys are amazing!!!!!!!
> 
> The artwork below was posted by hyeahreylo on Tumblr, all rights belong to the artist.

* * *

Rey had just strapped into the 3rd seat in the Falcon’s cockpit when it left hyperspace and the two ships entered Takodana’s orbit. Rey thought to herself, _So much has happened since I was last here._

As they were descending to the surface, Rey wistfully remembered her words when she was here the first time. “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy…” she saw Han in front of her as if he were still there, still with her, she heard his voice clearly and saw the image play out in front of her like a holo vid.

She saw how Han approached her, handed her a weapon as she was transfixed on the beauty before her. “You might need this,” he had said gruffly. She saw him shuffling around, slightly nervous as he offered her a job on board the Falcon. Then, as if she was speaking the words for the first time, she heard herself say, “If you were, I’d be flattered, but I have to get home…”

The scenery changed and she was in the tunnels underneath the Cantina with Maz, hearing those fateful words as if they were being spoken afresh, finally they had renewed meaning,

“Dear Child… I see your eyes, you already know the truth, whomever you are waiting for on Jakku, they’re never coming back, but there is someone who still could… The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.”

They landed in the same clearing as when this had all been so new to her. Ben came up and wrapped his arms around Rey.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart” he said softly in her ear. She didn’t need to ask what he was sorry for. She knew. By now, she knew Ben Solo’s mind as well as she did her own. Through the bond, she felt his immense guilt and shame that shook her to the core - the intense loathing he felt for himself for robbing his son of his grandparents. She pulled him close trying to make it better, to lessen the burden. Ben sensed this and through the bond simply stated, _what’s done is done… it cannot be undone._ Rey pulled back and looked at him,

_That was Kylo Ren, not Ben Solo. Kylo Ren is dead and no matter what is in your past, I will always love you._

Finn entered the clearing and, upon seeing the couple, quipped “C’mon you love birds! That’s what got us into this mess in the first place,” motioning to Rey’s belly. Rey gave Finn a withering look before returning her attention to the view before her. It was the same yet so different. The castle was in the midst of being repaired, large holes gaping from her sides.

“What happened here?” She whispered incredulously.

“Apparently there was a union dispute… nothing Maz couldn’t handle though,” Finn answered, shrugging his shoulders, confident in the wise old woman’s hardiness.

“She should be expecting us,” Ben said, scanning the terrain. “Shall we?” The four travellers walked silently down to the castle entrance, where Maz appeared quite unexpectedly. It seemed she had indeed been waiting for them. It was more of a welcome than Rey had received the first time she’d been there.

“Rey! So good to see you! Pregnancy suits you well,” Maz’s eyes twinkled, she turned to Ben and her joy was mixed with sadness, obviously thinking of Han and Leia. “It has been too long, Ben Solo!” He barely looked her in the eyes, but this did not deter Maz. She took his hands, waiting until he summoned the courage to look at her, “Sometimes we wish we could go back and fix things we’ve done, but our past mistakes shape who we are now. You are standing here now because your past has conspired to bring you here, and, let me tell you, this is good young Solo.” She nodded, made a small grunt and released his hands, suddenly becoming quite serious, “Now. Where is that Wookie?! I didn’t get to see him last time…” She cocked an eyebrow. Chewie came forward to greet Maz, clearly glad to see an old friend. Maz and Chewie entered the castle together, having a private conversation and, seemingly forgetting about Rey and Ben. They followed, Rey smiling gently at Maz’s words to Ben. Both their pasts had conspired to bring them to this moment, but the Force had played a major role too, not to be outdone. Maz had prepared a room for Rey and Ben far from the noise of the repairs. Rey was only too glad for a chance to lie down, _any day now I’ll get to meet you, my little starfighter,_ she thought to her unborn child. She had not lost her fear of giving birth, after all, she had never seen anyone else give birth and from what she had been able to read, there was so much that could go wrong and it sounded excruciatingly painful, but she had felt pain many times before. Her joy and excitement at meeting her son dwarfed her fear, and so she found herself counting down the days until he decided to make his entrance in the world. There would be nothing else now, no training, no fighting, no flying off into battle. Rey had waited for so many years for her parents, but this was different. This wasn’t waiting, this was simply a pause before the beginning of a new life.

On the third day of their stay, when it didn’t seem that Rey was any closer to giving birth, she decided that it would be best for Chewie and Finn to return to the Resistance. The Resistance always needed help and she had 2 of their best fighters with her, and for what? To watch her give birth, which she would never have allowed anyway. No, it was a waste for them to wait with her and Ben. At first, Finn baulked at the idea, always the first to worry about Rey, but he eventually saw reason. Chewie seemed reluctant to go as well, but he too finally agreed, understanding better than Finn that Ben and Rey needed this precious time to themselves. They set off on the Falcon just before sunset, burdened with a few local specialities from Maz, and a message from Rey to Poe. 

_____________

They had been there over a standard galactic week and, to her credit, Maz had given them space to rest, and the time to be alone when they needed it. Rey walked into the woods one evening, the sun hanging low in the sky, preparing for a magnificent sunset. She felt the twang through the bond, she knew Ben had come to find her. She stood looking into the forest, remembering her fear for the masked man from the First Order, who she had been convinced was going to murder her with no one to find her body in the woods. How time had changed everything.

“I never meant you any harm, Rey,” Ben said as he approached her.

“I know that now…” She turned and smiled up at him.

“There was something about you… I didn’t see it for what it was, but even then, I felt that there was something between us. I don’t know, Rey… it was like… like I somehow recognised you. I’d never seen you before in my life, did not know of your existence before that day, and then I saw you and I _knew_ you…” Ben said tremulously. Rey folded her arms around her husband and turned them both into the sunset.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Then, after a long moment had passed, she said, “There’s a part of me that wishes this moment would go on and on forever. Us, here, together while we wait for our son… the sun setting amongst all the green. Everything feels so sweet and fresh, like nothing from the real world can touch it,” Rey said wistfully. Ben kissed the top of her head softly.

“I know what you mean, sweetheart, but I wish he would come already. I want to hold my son,” Ben complained.

“Well… you won’t… have… to… wait much longer….” Rey rasped out as she felt a sudden vicelike grip around her mid-section and a wetness through her pants. She moved away from Ben abruptly.

“Are you in labour? REY?!” Ben was suddenly all concern and panic. “We need to get back to the room, NOW!” he shouted.

“I’m in labour, I’m not deaf!” She replied, beginning to slowly waddle back up towards the castle. She stopped a few steps in, only aware of the incredible pain. Ben hoisted her up into his arms in one swift move and hurried back to the castle, thoroughly out of breath by the time they reached it.

“Moofmilker!” Rey muttered under her breath.

“Maz!” Ben called to her as they entered, “Maz! It’s time! Rey’s in…”

“I might be ancient but I’m not deaf!” Maz retorted from somewhere to Ben’s left. Rey began to laugh, and then she couldn’t seem to stop laughing. She felt like she had lost her mind but the laughter kept bubbling up, almost like hysteria. Ben looked at Rey as if she’d hit her head, but Maz chuckled at the two of them,

“Come, I will lay down some blankets on the bed and prepare the hot water, it’s time,” she said.

It had been hours since Rey’s labour had started, in fact, it was already somewhere into the next day. She had almost become used to the pangs around her stomach, the tightening and the grip of each wave of pain, Maz and Ben hovering over her, but every now and then, the contractions did catch her unawares. Somewhere in the early, dark hours of the morning, she felt the change. The pain was the same, the weariness was the same, but she felt that her son was finally ready. She spoke softly, waking Ben as gently as she could,

“Ben, my love, it’s time. He’s coming,”

Ben shot up, “I’ll go call Maz,” which he did, hardly leaving the room. Since she had gone into labour he had done a lot of shouting. Rey had, at one point, threatened to have him locked out so that she could have their baby in peace. She closed her eyes, slowing her breathing as if meditating. She allowed herself to feel the Force flowing in her, through her, through her son. Maz came in and checked Rey for the umpteenth time.

“Yes,” she said speculatively, “it is time.” And she lifted the blanket over Reys legs in readiness. She washed her hands in a fresh bucket of hot water, and instructed Ben to do the same. He was pacing the room, clearly anxious,

“Ben,” Rey said, “I need you here, with me. Hold my hand… please love” and he did. She looked into his eyes and saw that he wasn’t, in fact, anxious. He was excited, barely containing his elation at what was about to happen. She felt an urge to bear down. It hurt! It was like so many blades driving downwards into her innermost parts. It felt like fire was consuming her from the waist down. She grit her teeth and gripped Ben’s hand, moaning as she bore down.

“I see his head, Rey. A few more pushes,” Maz commanded. One push, two pushes and Rey bore down with all her might, using the Force to help her. She felt his little body slip from hers in one rush. Maz cleared his mouth and throat, which was followed by an amazingly loud howl from the little one. He sounded like his father had not too long ago, she thought. Rey began to laugh, sheer joy pulsing through her being at the miracle of life, the miracle of the Force. She had never felt so connected to the Force, to life, to Ben, to the universe. Maz cleaned the blood and fluids off their son and indicated for Ben to cut the umbilical cord. Once he had done this, he cradled the little one to his chest, cooing lovingly to his son. He walked over to the bedside and sat next to Rey, gently placing their son on her chest, then kissing her tenderly across her cheeks and forehead. Tears of joy flooded her vision for a moment, then she saw his perfect little face, the dark wisps across his forehead, the tiny mouth that even now was searching for sustenance. She began to feed her son, awed at the love that coursed through her as she watched him drink, the rising sun slanting across the room to hold them in its embrace.

“Do you have a name?” Maz asked them.

Ben turned to Rey, “What do you think about Atula, sweetheart?”

“I like it,” Rey grinned, then said softly to her son, “Atula Solo. My little angel.”

____________________

It had been a month and Rey had fallen into a routine of feeding her son, napping, having meals with Ben and sometimes Maz, taking Atula for short walks outside and watching Ben hold his son by the window, which seemed pointless because he never looked out, he stood staring down at his son, murmuring to him the things he would teach him one day. Rey loved to watch them together. Little Atula always quieted down in his father’s arms and she was almost jealous. But there was a connection that even Ben could never have with their son, Rey was his mother. It was strange to think that she, the little scavenger from Jakku without much of a future had been granted this honour. Thinking on everything that had come before, it sometimes took her breath away to think of how different everything was to how she thought it would be… especially after the throne room. She had thought she would never see him again outside of battle as she had shut the Falcon’s door on him on Crait. The Force had had other plans for them though.

Ben’s joy had been complete with the birth of the tiny miracle that was his son. His flesh and blood. It didn’t escape him that for the first time ever, here was someone who would never see him as Kylo Ren, never look at him and wonder if there were any vestiges of the monster left. He thought sadly of his father. He now understood the fulness of what it meant to be a father. He saw his father’s sacrifice through the filter of unconditional love and he felt a bitter twinge that his father had had to sacrifice himself for him, although Ben knew that he would easily sacrifice himself for his son if he needed to. He didn’t bring up Palpatine with Rey, he didn’t want to sully this precious time they had as a family, something they might never have again - but it didn’t mean that he didn’t think about it. It seemed to loom over him, nipping at him in quiet moments. He knew this golden hour in their lives couldn’t last forever. Maybe they would defeat Palpatine, return to their son, and make a life somewhere in the systems… but it would be different. Whatever they needed to do to defeat Palpatine, they would come away different people. This moment, unhurried and beautiful, had to last them as long as possible until they could find a time and space where it was safe to love, to be together… safe to be happy.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Palpatine shows Rey in her dreams, and in the galaxy, what he will do to her and her loved ones if she doesn't come to him. 
> 
> The Resistance has to figure out if they can trust the man that Rey loves, the man who they can only see as Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... hey guys. We are heading into the final few chapters, phew! I know we've slowed on posting (work has been crazy for both of us) and I'm so sorry about that (!!), but I think we only have 2 or 3 chapters left anyway. We've tried to bring it back somewhat to the plot lines in TROS.
> 
> Yesterday we were chatting and hubby had a plot hole realisation and so did I. So Beaumont from the Resistance is a historian and can actually speak Sith (it's canon)... like, hello? Why did they have to go all the way to Kijimi to reboot C3-PO's brain so he could translate...? Um, yeah.
> 
> Then, my realisation was - after kissing Rey, Ben disappeared a second after falling down dead. So... while he was climbing the cliff after Palpatine threw him down, we don't know how long it took him to climb, but whether it's minutes or seconds, Rey was dead longer than Ben was... And she was defs dead, I mean it took Ben's whole life force to bring her back. So my supposition is, Rey should have disappeared. Major plot hole. Do or do not, there is no logic!

* * *

_No! No! Noooo…!_ Rey heard herself between sobs, her voice hollow as she held little Atula in her hands. He wasn’t breathing and the darkness felt as if it was suffocating her from the inside. She swung around, wildly calling out, her voice rife with grief and panic, “Ben! Where are you? Help!” Her words had hardly left her mouth when she saw him. Rey felt her heart shatter into a million pieces, Ben was slumped over against a wall. His eyes were vacant, blood dried in the corner of his mouth, his saber still clutched in his hand and the blood still dripping from the vibro blade protruding from his chest. Rey crumpled to the floor with her son still closely clutched to her chest, unable to fully take in the sight before her. She looked up and in the distance she saw Finn on the ground, dismembered with a look of horror and disbelief on his face. Rey got up and started running, she needed to get away, but the further she ran the more she saw, more death, more destruction, all her friends… gone. She ran until she couldn’t anymore. She collapsed in a clearing, still frantically clutching the body of her son, her chest heaving from the exertion as if her body was mimicking the desperation inside of her. She felt the warmth leave his body and let out a wave of fresh sobs. She reached out into the force… they were really gone. All gone… she was alone again! Rey collapsed, nothing mattered. she felt as if the essence of herself was stripped from her soul.

Abruptly, she sensed a presence and looked up and, through her blurred vision, she saw an elderly man approach her. _My granddaughter, join me and this can be avoided, join me and the war will end… Peace will return to the galaxy and you will live out your life with your entire family._ He said and the old man reached down and touched Atula’s head gently, life returning to his little body. Suddenly, she felt Ben’s warm big hand on her shoulder. She reached into the force and everyone was alive and well. She sensed a galaxy full of life and peace. The man spoke again, _Join me and you can protect everyone you love_. With that he disappeared.

Rey woke up, immediately looking around the room for her husband and son. After a brief moment, her eyes found Ben and Atula. They were both still sleeping in the chair across the room, the boy slept quietly on his father’s chest. Rey remembered that Ben had taken the task on himself to get Atula back to sleep when he had awoken screaming in the night. She was rocked by the feelings evoked by the dream, the fear, anxiety, grief and even, she realised now, the horror she had felt as the vile old man had touched her son’s head. She wondered if it had been only a nightmare, or a sign of things to come. She decided to momentarily push it out of her mind, walking over to where the two men in her life were sleeping and gently took her son from her husband, leaving him to sleep whilst she fed and changed Atula. She left the room and took Atula for a morning stroll. Rey wasn’t hungry yet, she needed time to think and the greenery on Takodana had a calming effect on her, exactly what she needed, _calm_. Eventually, after centering herself, she decided that it had just been a bad dream and she wouldn’t give it any further thought.

Later that morning, Rey made her way back to the castle, Atula was wiggling in the bright morning sun as Rey played with him in her arms. When she reached the castle, she heard Ben’s voice over the bond, _Welcome back sweetheart, I missed you this morning! Come up, you must be starving._ Rey smiled and lovingly replied, _I thought I would let you sleep seeing as our bundle of joy kept you up._ She made her way to Ben, when she entered the room he moved across the room swiftly like he hadn’t seen them in years and gently kissed them both and took Atula from Rey. _Please eat my love,_ Ben instructed gently and sat on the chair next to her. He placed Atula on his lap. Rey looked at her family and thought her heart might explode from happiness. A nobody scavenger girl from Jakku had found love and belonging, something she would have never thought possible.

When Rey had finished her breakfast, she sat silently and looked at Ben playing and doting on their little boy, she could not think of anything more perfect. Then her mind went back to the dream and suddenly she heard the old man’s voice again, C _ome to me and then you can save everyone you love._ Before she could register what she had heard, Ben touched her shoulder, _Okay Rey, Atula is down for a nap, it’s time to administer some healing_.

Rey wasn’t really in the mood, she was worried that all this exertion on Ben would damage his connection with the force. She tried arguing, But Ben was as stubborn as a Solo could be and thought to her, _I know, we have gone over this before, but I was serious that I would do anything necessary to ensure our family’s safety and I need you in perfect health in case we have to fight. You’re too vulnerable like this Rey…_ She could feel his concern in his words. Rey took off her pants and lifted her top, lying on the bed. Ben pulled up a chair and placed his warm, heavy hands gently on her pelvis and abdomen. Rey felt a shiver run up her spine, she could feel the love in his touch and it made her heart swell. No matter how many times this man laid his hands on her, it was still electric and intimate. Rey quipped “Sooo… Supreme Leader, like what you see?” winking slyly.

Ben smiled and spoke in a low tone, “You know I do, and I would give anything to take you right here and now, but you’re not healed yet and it would hurt you - so cool your thrusters, missy, that starship’s grounded.” Rey pouted at him and he leant over and gave her a quick kiss trying to convey all his feelings of love and desire. Rey closed her eyes, she could feel the force swirling around Ben as he focused energy into her body so that her cells could replicate and heal faster. Warmth spread over her entire body and sleep came quickly. Ben was exhausted after healing Rey, but smiled, she always looked peaceful when she slept afterwards. Ben covered Rey and decided to take a short nap as well, he lay down and wrapped his arms around her and promptly fell asleep.

______________

Rey found herself back in the same place, with her child clutched in her arms, screaming and terror surrounding her, the air filled with the smell of death and decay. One by one, she saw her loved ones approaching her, their eyes vacant and their expressions lifeless. _Why didn’t you save us Rey, you could have ended it._ And another, _Rey, Why did you abandon us in our time of need!_ She heard their voices cry out in anguish. They were encircling her, repeatedly blaming her for what had happened, the voices constantly droning in her head. Then, unexpectedly, the old man appeared before her again. _My granddaughter, come to me and you can save your loved ones, come to me and all will be well._ The image changed and as before, she saw a galaxy alive and at peace.

_______________

Meanwhile, in the unknown regions of space, Allegiant General Pryde entered the communication chamber, he had gotten word that he had been summoned by the emperor. He knelt in front of the holo-communicator as it whirred to life and the emperor’s face appeared in front of him.

“My Lord,” Pryde addressed the Emperor.

“Lord Ren is no more, and is – as such – “ he spat out, “beyond my reach, but no matter, send a ship to a world they know. Let it burn! The Final order begins,” The emperor instructed.

“Yes, my Lord, but what of the girl?” Pryde replied.

“Do not fret, General, she will come… and her friends will follow,” the emperor replied with a nasty grin.

“Yes, my Lord,” Pryde replied and bowed his head. The holo-communicator whirred and disconnected. As soon as Pryde stepped onto the bridge, he barked out a command, “Get us ready for departure!”

“Where to General?” asked one of the bridge officers.

“Kijimi,” Pryde replied with a smirk on his face. A while later, the Star Destroyer popped out of hyperspace silently, Kijimi in the distance.

“We have arrived, General,” one of the bridge officers stated.

“Excellent! Prepare the weapon, as soon as it is ready – Fire!” Pryde replied, pleasure dripping from every word.

“Yes, Sir!” came the response from another officer.

________________

Finn and Chewie’s reception on Ajan Kloss at their return was exceptional, everyone was overjoyed to see them and none more so than Poe. As soon as Finn descended the ramp of the Falcon, Poe came running up to him and hugged him.

“Buddy! It’s so good to see you! - Or should I call you Master Jedi? ” Poe quipped jovially.

Finn smiled, “Yeah, yeah, very funny man! I am a Jedi now… but you know me” he shrugged nonchalantly, “nothing has changed, except I now use a lightsaber” he grinned.

Finn pulled out a Holo recording from his jacket pocket and gave it to Poe, “It’s from Rey. We need to talk...” he sighed. Poe took the recording and the three of them went to the command room to chat, it was quiet and more private there. As they entered the room, Poe asked the few members present to excuse them for a while.

Poe sat down at his Holo desk and inserted the Holo disk. It whirred to life, Rey’s face was smiling back at Poe, “Hey Poe! I miss you guys! I hope everyone is well… and that Finn is behaving. I have some important news for you and the rebellion,” the Holo recording zoomed out and it was clear that Rey was in the late stages of pregnancy. Poe stared, his mouth agape. His eyes darted from the Holo recording to Finn and Chewie… ”What the Kriff!” he exclaimed, shocked. He looked suspiciously at Finn, to which Finn replied, hands up,

“Hey! Don’t look at me, pal! I’ve got nothing to do with that!”

Rey continued “I know this is probably a lot to take in…” she rubbed her forehead tiredly, “I’m finally going to have a family of my own. Not that you guys aren’t my family… of course, you all are!” Rey quickly inserted, “I’ve just never had…this.” She smiled, and it was clear that she was glowing with happiness. “My priority is keeping my family safe. It’s not an easy decision… I love you all so much! You’ve shown me so much and been what I needed… but I’ve decided I will not be returning to the rebellion.” She suddenly looked down, her glow dimmed by a look of sheer sorrow, adding, “I doubt that you would welcome us with open arms anyway.” With this, Kylo Ren entered the Holo, lovingly putting his arm around Rey.

Poe nearly fell off his chair, “WHAT THE KRIFF! KYLO KRIFFING REN IS THE FATHER?!” he exclaimed, taking a deep breath and then pacing excessively across the room, “Finn! What the hell!” he continued.

Finn put his hand on Poe’s shoulder and spoke gently, “Buddy, take a deep breath and listen to the rest of the recording. It’s important - Kylo Ren is dead.”

“Don’t try your Jedi mind crap on me!” Poe yelled.

At this, Chewie stepped in and grabbed Poe by the collar and roared in Shyriwook, “Finish listening to the message or I will force you to!” This threat seemed to get Poe to come back to his senses and sit back down, he started playing the recording again.

Ben spoke, “Hi Poe… Well, I’m sure you can’t believe this situation. Sometimes I don’t quite understand how this all happened.” He fidgeted awkwardly, “I know that mere words cannot express my remorse at what I did when I was under the control of Snoke… and Palpatine, but I am now free. I know it’s hard to believe… but I’ve turned from the dark Side. You have no reason to believe me or stop hunting me, but I promise you that the First Order and myself are no longer a threat to the rebellion. In fact, the First Order is now also a target of the Emperor. I am aware that actions speak louder than words so I will devote the remainder of my life to proving that I have changed. The First Order will submit to the rule and regulations of the new Senate with the goal of supporting the rightful rulers of the galaxy.” He paused, looking at Rey and then at her rounded stomach, “I love Rey and I love my son. I want them to live in a galaxy free of war… free of evil.” Both Rey and Ben smiled and said, “May the Force be with you!”

Poe was shocked and dismayed, he thought to himself, _I can’t believe it, she betrayed us! No! Maybe he has her under his control… Maybe…_

Finn suddenly grabbed Poe by the scruff of his collar, “Listen man, I’ve always liked you, but right now I really want to knock your lights out! Those two are the reason I became a Jedi! They trained me and believed in me when I didn’t. I am proud to call them friends and my Masters! I am back here because they wanted me here helping you! Now buck up and accept that the Force works in ways we don’t always understand. Rey and Ben were fated to be together and, what’s more, they’re happy! Rey deserves happiness, I know that you know that! I trust them and you trust me so that should be enough!”

Poe was clearly taken aback by Finn’s abruptness and conviction, “…Ok buddy, I… believe you,” was all he replied. Suddenly Finn’s eyes went blank and his countenance saddened, and he let go of Poe.

Both Poe and Chewie looked at Finn concerned.

“A great disturbance in the Force, such death and sadness,” Finn said absentmindedly, more to himself than to the others. Across the galaxy, Ben, Rey and Maz felt it too. 

At this point, the instruments in the room started beeping madly. As if on cue, Rose, Beaumont and a few others rushed into the room to attend to the machines. Leautenant Connix swung around to face Poe, her face full of sadness, she slowly relayed the information on the screen, “Kijimi… has been destroyed…”

“Kijimi, how…” Poe replied, staggering back in shock.

“A blast from a star destroyer, a ship from the new Sith fleet, out of the unknowns,” Connix stated.

Beaumont walked to the nearest comm terminal and stated worriedly, “The emperor sent a ship from Exegol! Does that mean every ship in the fleet…”

“…has planet killing weapons… of course they do, all of them” Poe continued and took a deep breath, “this is how he finishes it.” Poe’s words still hung in the air when the comm terminal beeped and Rose called them to pay attention,

“Listen! It’s on every frequency.”

The message was in ancient Sith and Beaumont immediately translated it, “The resistance is dead. The Sith flame will burn, all worlds must surrender or die! The Final Order begins.”

Rose looked at Poe and asked what everyone was thinking, “What now General?”

_________________

Rey, Ben and Maz sat around the table, their faces grave from what they had just felt.

Rey spoke, her voice filled with sadness, “All those lives…! They didn’t stand a chance…”

Ben thought for a moment and then looked at Rey and spoke, “We have to go. Only if we face him together will we defeat him, only then will there be real peace and order. Then the galaxy can finally heal.”

Rey looked at Ben, “I know, but… but what if…” She couldn’t finish her sentence. Ben could sense she was clearly torn over the fact that their child might be orphaned or that she might lose him. Ben took Rey’s hand,

“I have the same fears, sweetheart, but we cannot let our son grow up in a galaxy where the emperor hunts us.” Rey looked at him, resolve glistening in her eyes and nodded.

“We need to contact Poe and the rest and coordinate our plans, we might not agree on everything, but we need all the support we can get if we are to defeat the Emperor. I just hope he was able to listen to our message and… understand” Rey said sadly.

Maz looked at them both and said, “I will look after Atula until you return. This is your fight. I will keep him safe no matter what happens. There is a comm unit in the main chamber.”

Ben and Rey contacted the Resistance. The initial reaction from most of the members upon seeing _Kylo Ren_ was a shared gasp of horror, experiencing doubt, fear and hatred. It was clear that Poe had not shared with them about Rey’s Holo… or perhaps he hadn’t had the time to… but a lengthy explanation later, some of them seemed calm down, at least enough to hear what she had to say. Poe quieted down the room and allowed Ben and Rey to speak. Rey started, “Ben and I will have to face Palpatine. I know it’s hard to believe what we’ve told you… but he and I… we’re, well, we’re a unit. The Force connects us, we can fight as one.” She urged them with her eyes to give them a chance, “but we need help. Finn, will you support the forces in the battle while we keep Palpatine occupied? If something goes wrong, at least the New Order will live on…” Finn wasn’t happy but nodded. Ben then spoke with the air of a man familiar with battle,

“I have single super star destroyer repaired and refitted in Correlia that is loyal to me and ready for battle, we will act as the tip of the spear. Draw their fire and launch the first wave of attack.” Ben looked at Finn and spoke again, “As a Former storm trooper and a Jedi of the new order, Finn, you should be in charge of the ground forces. We’ll wait with the ground assault until their fleet is fully distracted.”

Finn nodded and replied surprisingly fiercely, “I will only lead them if they act as free men and women.”

“I already gave that instruction before leaving for Ahch-to, Finn. The forces we have are those who are fighting because they want to.”

The room grumbled at the plan and a voice in the back shouted, “How do we know we can trust you?!”

Rey immediately became defensive, but Ben gently gripped her hand and replied, “You can’t. But know that I stand to lose the lives of those most dear to me,” he looked at Rey and the tenderness and love in his look was clear to all, unmistakable, “I stand to lose my wife and my son.” there was silence in the command room.

Poe took charge, “I know we don’t trust _him,_ but I trust Rey, and I trust Finn - and they trust _him, now let’s get into the detail._ ”

Finn took the chance to speak, “As long as the star destroyers are on Exegol, we can hit them, they can’t activate their shields until they leave the atmosphere, leaving them vulnerable to attack. With the fire power that Master Ben is bringing to the party and our fighters, we stand a chance.”

Poe nodded and explained that given the unique nature of Exegol, it required that the capital ships be guided to atmosphere by a beacon. Ben confirmed, this explaining that his new ship that had defected was also led off Exegol in a similar manner.

A member in the back chimed in, “But then, doesn’t your ship have a planet destroyer that we can use against the emperor?” Ben sighed,

“Unfortunately not, in their attempt to kill me and my people, the weapon was damaged beyond repair,” the news hit everyone harder than expected.

Recovering from the blow, the ragtag group of unlikely compatriots then discussed the double pronged attack of blowing up the ships and the means of preventing the ships from leaving Exegol, leaving them vulnerable to the assault by the capital ships in orbit above the planet.

Ben and Rey explained that they would be sending coordinates from Ben’s ship as well as capital ship coordinates from the Executioner. When the briefing finally ended there, was a flurry of activity and Ben, Rey, Finn and Poe bid each other farewell before the holo comm whirred and switched off.

When Ben and Rey were finally alone, they went back to their room and discussed the details of what they would have to do. Ben explained to Rey that there was a Sith holocron in his ship and that the two of them could fly to Correlia and move to strike from there. 

Rey looked at Ben with an eyebrow raised, “Ben Solo, you know as well as I do your ship only has one seat!” 

Ben laughed, “You can’t blame me for trying… besides, I’m not the one who designed the damned things” he quipped jokingly.

Maz arrived as if sent. “My dear I think he is hungry. By the way, I heard that last part and I have a VCX-100 light freighter you can use,” she grinned and winked, “it’s old, but dependable,” Ben nodded and replied

“Thank you, Maz.”

Rey took Atula, who was now crying for his mother, “There, there. Shhh, Mother’s here,” she cooed to the child, trying not to cry herself at the thought of leaving him.

Once he was quiet and feeding, Rey abruptly said, “We’ll leave in the morning.” Ben got up and walked over to Rey’s bag and hauled out a holo disk.

“Maz… in case we don’t make it… this is for Atula.” Maz nodded knowingly and took the disk and left them to spend the remainder of their last day in peace. 

Ben turned to Rey and said, “I need to go inform General Kelthar of our plans and our arrival so that there is minimal delay between our arrival and departure. It won’t take long, I’ll be back soon.” Ben left.

Rey beheld her precious son, taking in every aspect of him. She felt like a wonderful dream had abruptly ended and her short-lived, carefree joy was ripped from her like her parents were. Out of nowhere, she heard the old man’s voice again, _Come to me and this can all be avoided. Save yourself and your family any hardship and live your lives in peace. Come to me granddaughter._ Rey considered it for a moment, it was likely a trap, but if it meant that everyone was going to be safe… maybe it was a risk worth taking.

That evening when everyone else was asleep, Rey gently kissed Atula and Ben, careful that they didn’t wake up, “I love you and always will! I am doing this for you both,” she whispered softly. With that, she made her way to the clearing and took one last look at Maz’s castle before getting into Ben’s silencer and leaving, determined to save the ones that she loved and the galaxy from any further harm.

Early the following morning, Ben woke from Atula’s cries. He turned around and saw that Rey was not there and thought it was unusual for her not to tend to Atula as she always did if she awoke before him. He got up and tried reaching her through the bond, now thoroughly panicked, he reached out further, stunned to realised that she wasn’t on the planet… she was far away. He tried reaching out to her but she was actively blocking him. Instinctively, he knew what she had done and he made haste to make arrangements with Maz to leave for Correlia. Having had the Emperor inside his head, he knew what the Emperor was capable of and he wasn’t going to let his beloved face it alone.

Thirty minutes later, after holding and kissing his son one last time, Ben was on his way to Correlia. He quickly contacted Finn and Poe and let them know that they would have to strike sooner, and that Rey needed their help. Both men agreed and arrangements were made.

______________

As Ben set foot on the Executioner, Kelthar met him in the hanger. The men exchanged brief, slightly cold pleasantries whilst making their way to the bridge.

“General, what is the status of the ship and our troop compliment?” Ben asked, his tone clipped, mentally prepared for what lay ahead.

Keltar replied, “Sir, troop compliment is at 100%, as per your request, all soldiers and crew were given the option to leave, but no one wanted to and they are fighting with us as free men and women. The landing craft are being prepared for the ground assault and all ships are primed and ready to launch at a moment’s notice.”

Ben barely hid his surprise, “Good, General, I would like to leave immediately,” Ben stated as they entered the bridge. “General, one last thing…” he cast him a side glance, then dove in, “I would like to address the crew” Ben requested. Kelthar opened a ship-wide channel and Ben addressed the crew.

“Today we face our biggest challenge to date. We are not only outnumbered but also outgunned. We are going into battle, not just for our own sake, but also for those who can’t fight for themselves. We are not fighting as the First Order, but as free men and women and I promise you, the galaxy will remember this day! We might not survive, I won’t lie, we are vastly outnumbered, but we will not go quietly!”

The whole bridge saluted the man who, to them, was still Kylo and he nodded for them to continue.

Ben could feel his anxiety and found it frustrating just standing on the bridge. He had always used the dark side to calm himself, to smother anything other than hatred and anger. He turned to Kelthar, “General, please let me know when we are almost there so that I can be ready to leave for the surface as soon as we arrive, I will leave the rest in your capable hands.”

Kelthar nodded, “Your ship is already prepared, Sire. I will call you when we are near.”

With that Ben nodded and left the bridge for his quarters. He needed to prepare for what lay ahead. He tried again to reach Rey but she was still blocking him. When he entered his old quarters, it felt like it belonged to someone else, from another life. He shook his head and sat down to meditate, to try and find answers and prepare himself for the battle that lay ahead. As he opened his eyes, his mother came to stand in front of him.

Leia smiled, “Ben, I am so happy to see you! I wish it were under different circumstances, but you’re about to face a difficult challenge and you need to trust in the Force. Things have been easier and harder for you in the last few months, I know” she said cryptically, “I think you know what lies ahead of you. You know what that stakes are, my son.”

Ben looked at his mother, his face pained by the realisation and said, “I know what I have to do,” tears sprung to his eyes and his bottom lip quivered, his voice almost breaking as he said, “but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”

Leia replied, “You, do, Ben, you are not alone. You’re not fighting for yourself anymore, you’re fighting to protect those around you. There is more strength in that than any path to the dark side. I am so proud of you!” She seemed to almost reach out to him, her eyes shining with love and acceptance. With this, his mother disappeared.

\-----------------------

The little light was blinking on the console, which indicated that Rey had almost arrived at her destination. As she dropped out of hyperspace, she saw Exegol - a dark and foreboding planet. She could sense _him_ and the pull of the dark side.

 _Remember why you are doing this_ , Rey thought to herself, plunging her ship downwards towards the surface.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben follows Rey to Exegol to help her fight Palpatine, his fear of losing her compelling him to do everything in his power not to lose her. 
> 
> The First Order and the Resistance must now forget old battle lines and join forces to thwart the Final Order and their plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for neglecting you all! I finished work but needed to rest a bit and I didn't feel right asking hubby to completely take on my part of the writing as well as his, especially at this most crucial part of the story. So, to make up for it, we've written a nice long chapter for a change ;)
> 
> We are finally at the scene where Rey and Ben must face Palpatine (fist pump)! I hope we've written this in a satisfactory way, this is how we think it should have gone, and of course we're adding in a fight scene with Palpatine, Ben and Rey that was supposedly filmed but never put into the final film. 
> 
> Some of the dialogue and plot are borrowed from the movie but only to move our plot forward, so we must add a disclaimer - we don't own Star Wars, the plot or the characters, they are the property of Lucas Film and Disney.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, for being so kind and so patient, and thank you for all the kudos and comments - medals for all of you (even the Wookies among you)!!

* * *

As Rey approached the surface of Exegol, she could feel the emperor’s presence like a homing beacon, he wanted to be found. Rey fortified her mental blocks, against both the Emperor and Ben. She set the silencer down near the entrance of the cave and got out. The planet was as dark and ominous as the presence of the dark side. Lightning struck, briefly lighting the sky before it was claimed by the darkness again. Rey readied her saber and walked towards the gaping entrance of the catacombs beneath the surface of the planet. She had just reached the entrance of the cave when a dark figure approached her from the shadows. The figure was draped in the dark side but showed no intent to attack her. Rey drew her saber anyway and readied herself.

“There is no need to fight, Rey, I mean you no harm,” the stranger said blandly, almost in amusement.

Rey felt the anger rise in her, it was so easy to grasp in this place, “This is just another trick! You seek to destroy the galaxy… I won’t let you,” she spat and leapt into action, her anger driving her movements, picking up the pace as she ran towards her target. As she swung, a red saber lit up and blocked her assault without any effort. The light from the sabers illuminated the figure’s face.

“No! This can’t be!” Rey gasped, the blood in her veins running cold.

Dark Rey smiled, “It can and is. Rey, I am a part of you. You cannot ignore me in this place.” Dark Rey disengaged her saber and Rey simply stood rooted to the spot, dazed.

“But… how? You’re just in my dreams and visions… you’re not real!” Rey said rather unconvincingly. Dark Rey chuckled and replied,

“I am as real to you as our beloved Ben. Boy, is he a catch! Those muscles, that face and what they say about big men is, well, let’s say it’s certainly true in his case!” Dark Rey simpered.

“He isn’t _our_ Ben, he is MINE! MY husband,” Rey shouted and ignited her saber again.

Dark Rey was roaring with laughter at this point, “You can’t strike me down. Plus, whatever you share with _your Ben_ , I am you and, trust me, I enjoy his yumminess way more than you do!”

Rey felt herself turn scarlet, she wasn’t sure if she was embarrassed or angry but she didn’t like this at all… It was like looking in a mirror, nothing hidden. Dark Rey saw this and sniggered,

“You know, it’s normal to feel possessive over the ones you love, but that’s not very _Jedi_ of you, is it Rey”

Rey couldn’t deny it, she loved Ben and the _Jedi_ were very strictly celibate. She couldn’t keep it in her pants for more than a few days when she was with Ben, she longed to be near him, she needed to be one with him. Just thinking of him hurt now, she had chosen this course, one that would divide her from her beloved forever. The choice had been made, there was nothing to do but get on with what she had come to do. “That’s none of your business! You’re just distracting me from what I’m here to do!” Rey hissed at her dark counterpart and stormed off past her dark twin. She didn’t get much further, suddenly noticing that she couldn’t feel the presence anymore. Dark Rey spoke from behind her, easily listening to Rey’s every thought.

“That’s because you have cut yourself off from this side of the Force. I am part of you and you refuse me. I can help you… let me in and you can find your way,” Dark Rey replied calmly. Rey swung around and spat,

“That’s exactly what you want! If I lose control, I will lose myself and that monster wins!”

Dark Rey looked at her with determination and something else, “How do you expect to do what needs to be done if you don’t let me help? Fighting yourself as well as the Emperor is madness! Even you know that. Look at you, all courage and determination but no real plan. You won’t win that way. You orphan Atula and make a widower of Ben…”

Rey turned around, giving in to her darker self. She replied, “We can work together, but I’m in charge!”

“You’re no fun,” drawled Dark Rey, then adding, “fine” with a roll of her eyes.

Rey focused and opened herself to the darkness bit by bit. It felt like a river had begun flowing in a desert wasteland. It felt so good, she could feel relief washing over her and an indescribable warmth spread from deep inside outwards. 

She could feel the force of the planet and _him_ and she knew where she needed to go. Unfortunately, to her utmost chagrin, the _other Rey_ was still with her. Rey made her way to the entrance of the catacombs. The Force was her guide, but it was different, it was electric, powerful, alive and seductive. Rey snapped out of it and reminded herself that she was there to save her family and friends. She stepped onto the platform and it descended into the heart of the planet.

“Finally, you took long enough,” Dark Rey quipped.

“ _Why_ are you still here?!” Rey asked angrily.

“I go where you go, remember? I am part of you after all,” Dark Rey responded, cocking her eyebrow and grinning in a way that could only be described as menacing.

Rey lifted Leia’s saber to light the way, she could still vaguely hear the lightning strikes above, but the light did not penetrate this far down. She centred herself and proceeded to the source of the immense darkness. She was aware that her darker self was still accompanying her, she felt significant anger and annoyance at this. She had fought so hard not to fall to the dark side and now the only way she could get where she wanted was to stop denying the part of herself that she…

“Feared” Dark Rey’s voice cut across her thoughts.

Rey swung around and ground out, “Shut up! Don’t think for one minute I don’t see you for what you are! You’re here to lead me astray!”

Dark Rey sighed deeply and said in irritatingly calm tone, “How can you be so naïve? It’s in my best interest to see you succeed. I am the side of you that you keep locked away, that you know is there, but you ignore. I can show you power beyond your imagination if you’d only stop ignoring me.”

Rey ignored her, walking towards the source of the power. She turned a corner and found a dead end. There was a huge stone in the way. Rey reached into the Force to move the boulder, but it was too heavy. She tried again and still it didn’t budge.

Dark Rey’s voice came mockingly from behind her, “If this is the level of _your_ power, what do you plan to do? Tickle him to death?” Her sickening laughter filled Rey’s ears.

Without looking at her, Rey spoke more to herself than to anyone else, “I don’t understand… the Force feels so distant.” She desperately wished that Leia were there to advise her on what to do. She was in the belly of the beast and she couldn’t even muster the Force, everything felt out of kilter. The Force was cold and distant, there was just a little bit of heat, not enough to keep the chills from overtaking her body, a complete contrast to the feeling of letting some of the dark in initially.

Dark Rey’s voice echoed, tinged with urgency, “No, be careful!” and suddenly Rey was yanked back as a trap door opened beneath her. Dark Rey prevented her from falling to her death.

Rey looked at her dark counterpart with utter confusion. Dark Rey answered coldly, “It’s simple, I am on your side. I keep telling you, you kriffing nerf herder, I am you and, believe it or not, I love our family and unless you accept your darkness, we will die here.” Dark Rey leaned in and spoke again, “According to the Jedi, there is no emotion, there is only peace. No emotion means no love, no Ben, no Atula, no friends, no reason to fight. Then the reason we are here is pointless and we might as well go home.”

The truth of her words struck Rey. It dawned on her that her dark counterpart was right, her emotion was driving her to do this, to take this risk. The Jedi code was wrong and she needed to stop hiding behind it.

Rey made the decision to lower her guard. She sat down on the cold rocky floor, closed her eyes and unleashed the restraints. It was like unleashing a torrent of raw power, it was exhilarating, she had never felt anything like it before. She felt unstoppable.

She lifted the boulder like it was paper and closed her fist. With this, the entire boulder disintegrated into dust. She heard the darkness inside her sing, “Yes, use the Force! You can crush him and keep everyone safe.”

________________

Ben was sitting quietly meditating in the Force when he felt it, he felt Rey lower her defences but something was wrong… Rey felt different. He reached out to her and the familiar hum of the bond opened. He saw Rey walking in front of him with singular purpose. She did not immediately sense his arrival. He sensed something was off, but could only see it when she turned around, looked at him, the pure annoyance and steely determination clear in her face.

“Ben, nothing you can say will change my mind. I have to do this,” she said coldly.

Ben could feel the dark side wrapping itself around her like a new skin. He was immediately concerned and ran towards her, grabbing her hand. He felt the immense weight of what was on her mind and the Force reserves she was calling in preparation for what lay ahead. He sensed that in her current state, she would not hesitate to strike down any foe. There was something else though, she risked getting lost to the allure of the dark side, something Ben was all too familiar with.

“Rey, my sweetheart – I understand, but you are tapping into the dark side too heavily! You risk losing who you are! If you give in to it completely, no one will matter to you anymore, not me and definitely not our son! We will become objects to use and dispose of. Please darling, wait for me, let’s face him together, like we discussed...” Ben pleaded almost feverishly.

Rey gently smiled at Ben, “I’m sorry Ben, I can’t risk losing those that matter to me most. In this, the dark side is my ally. I know what I’m doing! It won’t consume me, I will protect you and Atula! I can’t wait, _he_ is calling me and this is only way to stop him… and to save us all.” With that he felt the connection fade, his hands felt electric, the familiar hum from the dark side, he could increasingly feel Rey fading.

Ben shot up and walked as fast as possible to the Bridge. The door opened to a flurry of activity, General Kelthar was barking out orders as officers were providing constant updates. Ben walked over to Kelthar to get a status update and to find out if everything was going as planned. His patience was wearing thin, as was the time he had to save Rey before she was lost.

“General, are we ready?” Ben asked in a clipped tone, trying to hide his anxiety.

“Yes, Sir, all bomber squadrons and fighter squadrons are ready, pilots are on standby. Ground troops are busy with final preparations. They will be ready for operation commencement on schedule,” Kelthar returned.

“Excellent, General, I will be ready to leave as soon as we enter orbit. When I am safely on the ground, I will give you the signal to commence the assault. Once the battle starts, it will be in your hands. I’m placing my life in your hands. Remember, failure here means the end of us all,” Ben stated with the precision of a military man.

“Yes, sir, we’ll be arriving shortly. Everything is prepared for you in Hangar 12,” Kelthar replied.

Ben nodded, turned on his heel and left the bridge, torn between keeping the image of the Supreme Leader and running like a mad man to save his beloved. He finally arrived at Hangar 12 and prepared for take-off. He had just done the necessary checks when they left hyperspace and Ben got the green light to descend to the surface. The trip down to the surface was quick, but the sheer size of the Final order’s fleet nearly took his breath away, they were hanging in the sky eerily like chess pieces ready to strike at a moments notice. There were star destroyers as far as the eye could see. Ben had no problem tracking down his ship as the holocron had led Rey to the same place he had landed when he visited Exegol before.

Ben signalled Kelthar that the attack could begin as he was almost below the surface of the planet. Ben made haste to the entrance. Rey having preceded him, there was no descending platform waiting for him. He took a deep breath and leapt down the opening, he had no time to lose, Rey needed him. He landed with a heavy thud on the enormous support chains and let out an involuntary, “Ouch” through his gritted teeth.

________________

“All Bomber Squadron’s ready!”

“Deflector Shields primed and ready!”

“Cannons have acquired targets and ready to fire!”

“Fighter squadrons ready!”

“Ground forces ready!”

“All stations are Battle READY!”

“Awaiting your orders General!” Voice after voice rang out on the Bridge as General Kelthar prepared for the assault. They had one chance to punch an opening for the ground forces to do their work. If there had been time, he may have pondered the strange turn of events where the First Order worked hand in hand with their enemy, the resistance. As it was, there was little time and much to lose. He turned to the comm desk and spoke, “General Dameron, we are ready, let the assault commence.”

Poe responded, “General, we’re five minutes out, may the Force be with you!”

The comm channel closed and Kelthar gave the order, “Commence the attack! Today we fight for our freedom!” The Executioner began its descent to just above atmospheric level as long-range scanners were not as effective and thus made planetary bombardment impossible.

General Pryde had been notified about the super star destroyer owned by the traitorous First Order the moment it had arrived in orbit, but did not perceive it as a big threat. He continued the preparation for the fleet to depart Exegol and gave the orders, “All battle groups, battle stations we have incoming hostiles! Strike Group Alpha, ascend immediately and destroy the Executioner!” He turned to his first officer and asked, “Is the beacon transmitting?”

“Yes, Sir, it is,” the uniformed man replied flatly.

“Good! Then proceed with launching the fleet!” Pryde barked and turned on his heel. He walked to the viewport to watch the battle unfold.

As the Executioner neared its strike point, bombers and fighters were launched. Kelthar anticipated the enemy’s movements and tactics. The bombers focused on the five star destroyers that were moving into position and launched their payloads. The bombs found their respective marks and the destroyers burst into flames, deck after deck exploding and crashing to the surface.

There was no time for celebration, this was just the beginning. Kelthar had just punched the hole for the ground troops and the sky would soon light up with blaster fire. Kelthar gave the all clear for the ground assault to begin. He then commanded the bombers and fighters to fall back as the rest of the fleet was about to arrive. On cue, the Resistance fleet dropped out of hyperspace near the Executioner.

Poe and Finn jumped into action, all the fighters and drop ships scrambled out of the hangar bays of the Mon Calamari cruisers. As Finn’s assault group met up with the landers that were on their way to the beacon, he heard a storm trooper report in on the comms “This is platoon leader DK-1672, General Finn, we await your orders!”

The storm trooper’s altered voice brought Finn to a momentary halt. He remembered when he had been one of them and how far he had come. This fight was for all of them, it was for the freedom of all his brothers and sisters in arms. He sprang into action and replied, “DK, please call me Finn, we are ready to land. I need my lander flanked by fighters. My ship will land first. We need to assault the tower from multiple angles - we will attack from the west, send half of your battle group to assault from the east and the other from the south.”

DK’s voice came through quick and unwavering, “Yes, sir, see you at the tower!”

As the lander touched down on the surface, the door opened and Finn lit his lightsaber. He could feel the dark side, but he was at peace, he knew what needed to be done and that he could not run now. He was the first one off the lander charging the first group of Sith troopers firing from the reinforced position near the beacon. Finn deflected the blaster shots easily with a single spin of his saber, it was like he knew what was going to happen before it did. He leapt into the air and mid-air Force pushed the soldiers to the ground, landed on top of their position and quickly dispatched of them. The joint assault forces were taking heavy losses as some of the Sith Fighters broke off from the aerial battle and focused on the platoon below. Finn ducked and called in for support

“Poe, they’re hitting us pretty hard! I need air support!”

Poe’s voice came through quite strained, “Sorry, Buddy, got my hands full here! I’ll come as soon as possible!” Finn felt something coming before he saw it, he knew it was a Tie Fighter making a strafing run. He had no choice, he had to stop it or it would break the flank of their one assault. He stepped out into the open in an attempt to become an easy target. The pilot took the bait and focused his assault on the Jedi. Finn reached into the Force and pulled the TIE to himself, it hit the ground with terminal force, shattering into a million pieces. Finn ducked as a piece of fuselage flew over his head.

He turned his attention back to the assault. They had to take the beacon or there was no point. Wave after wave, the Sith Troopers came. Finn and the resistance soldiers dispatched of the troopers and dug in around the tower. Finn could feel the exhaustion starting to take over, but there was a job that still needed doing and they could not fail. Finn and platoon Leader DK-1672 entered the tower with a small contingent of storm troopers in case there was any more resistance. They only found technicians, who gave up without a fight. Finn gave the order, “Plant the EMP charges!” DK and a few other soldiers quickly planted the charges and cleared the room.

“Blowing charges!” DK yelled and, with that, the tower went dark. When Finn and DK left the tower, they heard the cheers of the soldiers, but for Finn the cheers were short lived - he immediately sensed Rey’s presence but somehow it was darker, more primal. Finn turned to DK and asked, “Will you be able to handle it from here Commander? I’m needed elsewhere.” DK nodded and Finn ran off to help Rey.

“General Kelthar, it seems the assault on the beacon was a success but they have transferred the signal to the command ship,” the report came from an officer on deck.

Kelthar barked, “Get me Dameron on the line!” He leaned clenched his fists as Poe came on the line, “Dameron, it seems that they have a backup, the fight is not over yet. We will have to focus our fire on their command ship. We’ll light it up. Have your squadrons fall in and attack as best they can.”

“Kelthar, that star destroyer is heavily guarded. We might not succeed, but we have come too far to give up now!” Poe replied.

Kelthar turned to his fleet officer, “Do we have any bombers left?”

“No, Sir, they have all been destroyed, but we still have our fighters,” the female officer replied.

Kelthar barked another order, “Send in all our fighters to provide General Dameron with air support! If we do not succeed, today will be known as the day the galaxy died!”

________________

Rey could feel that she was getting closer, her patience had worn out. It was as if the way was an obstacle course testing her. She sensed the battle raging somewhere above her. She finally entered the large, dimly lit chamber, the occasional lightning bolt at the edge of the chamber lighting an enormous throne at the centre of the room, its jagged edges looming ominously. She had hardly arrived when she heard thousands of voices chanting in ancient Sith. she turned and saw thousands of Sith Eternal acolytes sitting at the edge of this chamber, waiting for the Emperor, waiting for something that she could not foresee.

Without warning, a deep voice, the one from her dreams, came from behind her, saying, “Long have I waited…!” Rey turned around slowly and reminded herself, _Remember what you are here for!_ Rey felt the anger rise from the depths of her soul. She saw a hooded figure attached to a machine suspended in the air. He continued, “…for my grandchild to come home. I never wanted you dead,” He revealed, “I wanted you here. Empress Palpatine…”

Something in Rey tugged hard at the decaying old man’s words. The words she had longed to hear, that someone wanted her from birth. If she were the empress of the Sith, she would rule with Ben by her side and together they could truly bring balance to the galaxy.

Ben could feel Rey was close and he sensed the Emperor too. He picked up his pace and ran for all he was worth. He easily dispatched of the meagre resistance he encountered on his path. _Please, Force, Maker, gods, whoever is out there, please! Please, let me be in time!_ As he turned yet another corner, he entered a clearing with multiple tunnels, he was almost there. Rey was unbearably close, he would be in time to save her, to help her to… He was abruptly halted as the knights of Ren approached him from all angles, effectively surrounding him, blocking any path to Rey.

______________________

Ben looked from one masked Knight of Ren to another. The men who had served him in his role of Supreme Leader, men he had relied on, had fought side by side with. Before he had the chance to detach his lightsaber from its holder, they began to attack him, vicious in their blows to his ribs and face. He resisted, fighting back with everything in him, at last he was able to lay hand on his lightsaber only to have it kicked from his hand by one of the knights. It rolled away and Ben watched it with desperation as it came to a stop against a far edge of the boulder wall against which they had him cornered. The knights looked at his lightsaber, coveting it. It was, after all, what they worshipped. Ben used their momentary distraction to lay a few hits and kicks in himself, clearly injuring two of the knights. All remaining 5 backed away from Ben, taking a moment to realign themselves internally, to use what bit of Force they had access to as Force sensitives. Ben closed his eyes, he could feel how they lusted after his death, but even more, how they lusted after his lightsaber. He began centering himself in the Force – it would not be long before the assault began once more and he was beginning to tire. He remembered the moments before Snoke had died… He then thought as loudly as he could, _If I have to die here today, then I have to make sure that none of these bastards get my lightsaber! I’ll use the Force to push it to Rey, I hope it helps her… if I can’t… I’ll pull my enemies to me, I need to give Rey a fighting chance!_ Ben opened his eyes, aware that several of the knights had sensed his intentions. He laughed mirthlessly as they each entered a battle stance, ready to resist Ben’s pull. In response, he straightened. He looked past the knights for one lingering moment, his face taking on a completely different, almost sweet expression. Then, taking the Knights of Ren by surprise, he did the exact opposite. He Force pushed them away with every ounce of his strength as he pulled the saber to himself.

________________

“You will take the throne. It is your birth right to rule here. It is in your blood… our blood,” Palpatine continued.

“I have not come to lead the Sith,” Rey replied, “I’ve come to end them.”

“As a Jedi?” He asked with condescension.

“Yes!”

“No… your hatred, your anger – you want to kill me,” he goaded, “That is what _I_ want,” he said with satisfaction and maniacal joy in his voice.

“I _will_ kill you, but only if I can’t capture you!” She said through gritted teeth.

“Oho!” Palpatine chuckled, “To be put on trial by that little band of misfits you call the Resistance. As if they could hold me down. Nothing can stop me now!” He gloated, then added for effect, “You’re weak, like your parents!”

“My parents were strong. They saved me from you!” Rey retorted.

“Luke Skywalker was saved by his father,” Palpatine smirked, “the only family you have here is me.” As he said this, the rocky ceiling shifted, revealing an opening to the sky, and the ongoing battle above them. “They don’t have long,” he said slowly, cherishing every word, “no one is coming to help them and you are the one who led them here,” he paused for effect, then urged her, “strike me down! Take the throne! Reign over the new empire and the fleet will be yours! Only you have the power to save them” he said, adding weight and guilt to each word. “Refuse and your new family dies,” he added for effect. At this moment, Rey felt Ben nearby, suddenly looking past Palpatine to see Ben surrounded by Sith loyalists. He looked at her too, his love and hope for her shining in his eyes and forming at the edges of his lips. Rey nodded with tears in her eyes.

“She will draw her weapon!” Palpatine announced, “she will come to me. She will take her revenge! Then with a stroke of her saber, the Sith are reborn! THE JEDI ARE DEAD!” he shouted. Igniting her saber, Rey felt true anguish. She could either give in to Palpatine and become one with him to save her friends, or she could defeat Palpatine and end the war but at what cost? By the time she did, her friends would probably be dead. Rey began to tremble inwardly - Ben felt each tremor as if it were his own.

“Do it! Make the sacrifice!” Palpatine urged Rey, closing his eyes in anticipation of being struck down.

___________________

The Knights of Ren flew backwards as Ben’s saber flew home to its master’s hand. The knights righted themselves and came back to circle Ben. In true Solo fashion, Ben spread his arms, emphasising his possession of a lightsaber where he knew they had none. Ben tipped his hands outward with a goading smile, which enraged the knights, causing them to rush at him. Ben came to life, wildly swinging his saber in what seemed to be haphazard patterns, a form that even the knights were unfamiliar with. He swung wide, then low, spinning around to hold his saber at his back as one of the knights brought a broad bladed sword across his back. He blew out the breath that he had been holding, then swung about to slash at two of the knights, swiftly ending them. He stabbed another knight through the chest, then used the Force to fly across the space between himself and the last standing knight, coming to stop behind him. Ben grabbed gripped the knight’s shoulder and used it for leverage to thrust his saber through the knight’s heart from behind. Switching off his saber, Ben ran to Rey, determined to help her, to save his beloved.

Reaching her, they looked at each other wonderingly for a moment, the love and light between them clear, then they turned and, as one, entered a battle stance with their sabers before them, ready to take on the evil Sith lord.

Palpatine began to laugh, his laughter growing louder by the second, “Foolish boy! I knew that if Rey came to me, you would follow,” he sneered. “If Rey was too weak to strike me down, I knew I could count on you following her like a lovesick puppy, _eager_ to play hero. Together you are strong, so is your combined life force as a dyad… I now have everything I need to live forever!” He said as he reached out towards Ben and Rey, beginning to drain their combined life force from them easily. Ben and Rey were pulled forwards and suspended as Palpatine eagerly sapped their energy, his body regenerating into perfection. He was so engrossed in his task that he did not sense another Jedi approach from behind, lightsaber at the ready.

Finn came up behind the Sith Lord and swung heavily, severing the old man from the machinery keeping him suspended, and alive. The Emperor fell with a crash to the cold floor, immediately and effectively ending his hold on Ben and Rey.

“Finn!” Rey gasped, the relief clear in her face, “I’m so glad to see you!” Ben smiled at his former padawan in agreement with Rey.

“I had a _feeling_ you guys needed me,” Finn quipped. Just then, Palpatine began a low, throaty laugh, rising easily from the floor. His old limbs had been regenerated, his face bearing more of a human resemblance than Ben and Rey could have thought possible.

“I cannot be stopped!” Palpatine gloated, throwing out his hand and watching as Finn flew across the chamber to hit one of the pillars, essentially knocking him out cold. Palpatine then reached his other hand out, calling one of the Acolyte’s sabers to himself. Rey and Ben nodded once to each other, and ran at Palpatine in unison.

Ben struck high and Rey struck low, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to block both attacks at once. Neither of the blows found their mark as Palpatine stopped both sabers using the Force, throwing the two backwards.

“It is too late, children, you cannot defeat me! Your child’s fate is sealed, he will serve me and become my apprentice,” Palpatine stated pleasurably. With a guttural cry, Rey ran at Palpatine swinging violently, leaving herself open. Palpatine’s saber lurched towards her exposed side and would have found its mark had Ben not Force pulled her out of its reach just in time. Ben then circled behind Palpatine, as the Knights of Ren had done not too long ago. They had the Emperor cornered between them, he could not stave off attack from both in front and behind him. They lunged forward and attacked at the same time only to have Palpatine use the Force to escape them, bringing their sabers to clash against each other’s. They whirled to face Palpatine in his new position. Without warning, Palpatine let out a torrent of lightening and, instinctively, to Rey’s utmost surprise, she met this with a lightning attack of her own. Rey was not quite as experienced or powerful as Palpatine, and felt herself losing, “Be with me,” she uttered in sheer desperation. Ben, mistaking her plea to be directed at himself, placed his hand on Rey’s shoulder, transferring some of his Force energy to her. Suddenly, Ben and Rey heard voices from the beyond,

“These are your final steps, rise and take them,” said Obi-Wan.

“Dyad…” came the voices of Anakin, Ahsoka and Kanan in turn.

“Bring back the balance, as I did,” said Anakin.

“You are not alone,” added Kanan.

Master Yoda then emphasised this, “Alone, never you have been!”

“Every Jedi who ever lived lives in you now!” Qui-Gon emphasised.

Lastly, and most poignantly, Luke’s voice came through, “The Force will be with you always!”

Palpatine placed one foot in front of the other, bracing himself to add more force to his attack, “I AM ALL THE SITH!” He exclaimed in hatred.

“AND WE,” replied Ben with steel-like strength in his voice, “ARE ALL THE JEDI!” Reaching his other hand out with all the Force in his being, Ben reinforced the strength of Rey’s lightening with a pulse of Force power. Palpatine was shattered into dust as their combined power disintegrated every fibre of his being, nothing being left to be reanimated.

Weakened by their exertion, they both sank to the floor, losing consciousness.

_________________

Finn came to, his head reeling from the hard blow. He looked around, dazed. There was no sign of Palpatine, but as he looked around, he saw his two friends lying on the ground, seemingly dead. What else could he assume but that the Emperor had struck them down and left their bodies gracelessly flung to the floor, discarded and unwanted. Finn angrily wiped away the tears that had formed without his permission. They couldn’t be gone… they couldn’t be! He closed his eyes and reached into the Force, he could feel their life forces fading away, but not yet! He could still save his masters.

Finn scrambled over to their lifeless bodies as fast as his dizzy head would allow. He reached for one and then the other, not sure who to save. He didn’t know if he could even save one of them, let alone both. Rey had told Finn about Force healing Ben, he knew it was possible, but to bring someone back from the brink of death using the Force? What if it was too late? What if he wasn’t strong enough in the Force? Knowing time was not on his side, Finn finally closed his eyes and chose which one to save…


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn chooses between saving Ben and saving Rey, the hardest decision he's ever had to make.
> 
> Meanwhile, the battle rages on in the skies above, with both sides taking on damages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry for the long wait!! Been dealing with legal issues with a client (insert massive eye roll).
> 
> I can't believe it, but we are finally here! It's the last chapter and I'm a little sad that this is it. But, nothing lasts forever, it had to come to an end some time. This chapter will be followed by an epilogue, which I'm posting now as well. Thank you all for reading this story, you've been amazing!! 
> 
> Again, we do not own Star Wars, all original plot points and characters used belong to Lucas Film and Disney.
> 
> As usual, please leave us a kudos or let us know what you think ;)

* * *

There was so little time to make such an impossible decision. They were both his friends, both his masters, but he could only save one. Finn felt the fading signature of their life forces – Ben’s was much stronger than Rey’s, hers only a faint glimmer. Finn knew what he had to do, who he had to choose. It made sense, but Rey was his first and his best friend… It hurt him to do it but it was as if the choice had been made for him.

Finn laid his hand on Ben’s still chest, closed his eyes and focused on the Force. He centred himself, focusing on all the living beings, not just in the atmosphere above him, but across the galaxy. He felt entire planets teeming with life, felt the energy of the pulsing stars and their suns. His breathing slowed as he focused this life into Ben’s chest, effectively restarting Ben’s heart and bringing him back to life. Finn slumped over, exhausted and spent, unsure if he had had enough in him to bring Ben back or to join Rey and Ben as part of the Force. Ben rolled over, suddenly taking a deep, spluttering breath.

“Finn…?” Ben mustered the energy to sit up, “Where’s Rey…” He turned as he asked this, seeing Rey’s lifeless form crumpled across the stone. He scrambled over to his beloved, pulling her into his arms, her head lolling sickeningly back from his shoulder. Ben began to sob, the tears falling freely as the sobs racked his body, gently shaking Rey’s body with each heave. It had hurt not to choose Rey, but seeing Ben’s raw grief broke Finn’s heart. He turned away as much as his exhaustion allowed, unable to watch the tragedy play out before him.

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“Commander, status report!” Kelthar’s voice rang out across the bridge after a bomber dropped a payload of photon torpedoes near the command deck.

“Sir, our deflector shields are at five percent and failing! We have structural damage through bulkheads 1176 to 1197, areas have been closed off. We have lost the ability to warp and our propulsion engines are failing!” The officer replied with panic in his voice.

Commander Aftab Ackbar’s voice came clearly through the comms, “General, Kelthar, raise the ship by point five. We’ll distract them while you move higher into orbit. We can’t afford to lose firepower!”

The message had hardly been completed when another barrage from three battle groups of star destroyers struck the bottom of the executioner’s hull, the hull lighting up with a blue shimmer as the shields took the impact.

“General, we can’t take another direct hit!” The officer shouted.

General Kelthar knew that they had only one choice, pull back and let the Mon Calamari cruiser act as a shield between them and the enemy. They had one chance to get this right. General Kelthar felt the sweat that had formed on his brow, one false move and this was where it would all end.

“Pull back Squadron 1, we need additional air support. Move up mark zero five on my order!” Kelthar barked. There was no time to think, the next salvo had already been fired. The executioner moved slowly and moved up; at the same time the resistance fleet led by the Mon Calamari cruisers moved into place.

Commander Aftab yelled out over the comms, “Brace!” Just then, the blaster impacts found their marks. The smaller vessels like the Correlian Corvettes were destroyed immediately. The shockwaves of the explosions and the last screams of the warriors lost was haunting.

“We cannot lose the super capital ship or we are done!” came his voice again. Aftab looked out the viewport and saw several smaller capital ships explode. He swung around and repeated the order, “BRACE, HOLD THE LINE!” He knew this was where they would win or lose. The fate of the galaxy hung in the balance.

The salvo hit and more flashes of orange erupted through space, snuffing out the lives of so many. This was the brutal reality of war, people died and no one batted an eye.

_____________________

“Oh Maker! Please…!” Ben sobbed into Rey’s shoulder, “Force! How could you take her from me?! Oh please… bring her back to me!” he whispered, broken under the weight of immense grief. Then, an idea occurred to him – he had healed Rey before… he could bring her back, even if it took his own life again. Yes, if he could, he would switch places with her. Rey deserved to live! Atula deserved to have his mother raise him! He laid her back, his enormous hand covering most of her abdomen as he began to do what Finn had done for him only moments before.

“Ben… wait!” Finn called out.

“No! I can bring her back. I WILL bring her back, Finn!” He replied, “You chose the wrong one...” he added brokenly.

“She was too far gone, Ben!” Finn admitted sadly, suddenly feeling a thousand years old. Ben turned his head back to Rey.

“I’ll help you… Ben, let me help you! We can bring her back together,” Finn said.

“No. You’ve already brought me back, it’s weakened you, anymore and you could die!” Ben closed his eyes and began to centre himself, become one with the Force and the life it could bring. Finn crawled over to them, placing his hand over Ben’s, half expecting him to fight it but he did nothing, he simply continued breathing in and out deeply, focusing. Finn began to do the same. If this could bring Rey back then he didn’t care what it did to him. Rey would have done it for him, he knew she would. Finn found that he couldn’t put as much energy as he had in bringing Ben back, his body was too weak, but unlike with Ben, he could feel energy returning to her body like water rushing into a tub, some of it felt like Ben’s signature, some hers, and a small part, Finn’s. At the feeling’s strongest point, Ben pulled himself and Rey out of Finn’s reach, taking the rest of it onto himself. Finn allowed gravity to pull him downward to the ground, lying down with relief, almost as if fighting gravity itself had drained him. He blinked up, seeing Rey come to, sitting up in Ben’s arms. All was right in the world. Finn allowed gravity to pull his eyelids closed, it felt so good, so right.

_________________

Poe’s ship shook as another member of Black Squadron exploded next to him, he heard the last words and screams of his comrades as they were shot down one after another.

“General Dameron, what should we do?! There are too many of them!” A rattled voice came through the comms. Poe felt like the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders.

“Just survive!” he replied through gritted teeth. “Black Squadron and Red Squadron form up. Attack the main cannon,” Poe instructed. A mix of fighters, imperial and resistance, formed a delta formation around Poe and they made their desperate assault. The fighters moved as one, the casualties were severe, but with a few well-placed shots, the planet destroyer cannon ignited and exploded, rippling through the hull. Cheers echoed over the comms.

“General Kelthar, is there any way for us to exploit this weakness?” Poe asked.

Kelthar thought for a moment, then answered, “Yes, but you won’t like it.”

The three fleet commanders patched in and Kelthar laid the plan out hastily, they hadn’t the time for formalities. “The executioner has significant firepower and if we can get it underneath their ships, we stand a chance to strike a decisive blow. We need to wait for Pryde’s command ship to reach a decent height and destroy it right before the fleet can deploy their shields,” Kelthar explained, “Poe can you handle that?”

“Yes.” Poe replied in a clipped tone, his attention focused on not dying.

“Then we will break formation, move underneath and destroy a large portion of the fleet with a single salvo. Then, if we are lucky, that should turn the tide of the battle. We will pull back all fighter squadrons to the capital ships and have them run defensive manoeuvres to protect the ships. Once we have broken through, the fighters can go on the offensive again. Afbar, you need to provide us with cover as long as possible, then move out the way and target any stragglers that may try to escape.”

The orders were given and the stage was set. Poe and the fighter fleet withdrew to protect the resistance fleet, which surprised General Pryde, causing him to mistake it for a retreat. In response, he sent all his fighters to intercept and destroy. As soon as the fighters reached space, the trap was sprung. The fighters flew defensive formations and the capital ships used their ion cannons to subdue the smaller ships, which were easy pray for the fighters. Tie Fighter after Tie fighter was shot down and the explosions looked like small fireworks in space, lighting up the sky. This was followed by jubilant cheers from the pilots.

“It’s working!” Poe said optimistically.

“Yes, it seems they’ve taken the bait. Pryde’s hubris will cost him the war!” Kelthar said with more confidence than even he expected.

Aftab’s voice came through the comms next, “Pryde has increased the rate of ascent of his command ship, as expected, he is almost in range. We will distract him – Poe, do your worst!”

With that, another barrage hit the republic fleet and three Hammerhead Corvettes started listing and losing altitude rapidly.

Aftab watched in horror as one of the ships exploded shortly thereafter, the crew unable to escape. The voice of the captain came through from one of the Hammerhead Corvettes. “Sir, our escape pods are damaged! We might not make it today, but we _will_ make them hurt!” The Corvette plummeted toward Pryde’s ship. The panicked response from the ship could be seen in the frantic way all turrents fired upon the descending Corvette.

Aftab responded solemnly, “Your bravery will be remembered! May the Force be with you!” Aftab gave the signal, “Now Poe! They’re distracted, take them down!”

Poe didn’t hesitate. His squadron broke formation, and raced at breakneck speed for the underbelly of Pryde’s star destroyer. Unceremoniously, the shots found their mark and the command ship exploded in a glorious ball of fire.

The officers on the bridge of the Executioner burst out in relieved cheers knowing that, at last, their enemy was trapped on Exegol.

“There is no time for cheering! This is not over. Focus!” Kelthar bellowed.

The crew sprang back into action, awaiting further command.

“Aftab are we ready?” Kelthar asked over the comms.

“Ready,” came Aftab’s response.

Kelthar gave the order to start the third phase of the assault. The Executioner descended swiftly upon the battlefield, flanked by the rebellion fleet, ready to strike once the first salvo was launched like a hunter that had found its prey. This caught the now uncoordinated Final Order’s fleet off guard.

“Aim and fire when ready!” Kelthar’s commanded. Smaller ships were exploding around the behemoth but the shields were now holding - this was their chance. In a blinding barrage of fire, one after another Star Destroyer exploded. As one fell, another was targeted. The sky turned orange with explosions mixed with white from the planet’s lightning. One after another, the enemy’s ships fell out of the sky in flames, littering the surface of Exegol with the wrecks of the might of the Final Order.

Cheers could be heard throughout the entire fleet. It was done… it was over. They had won.

__________________

“Not yet, young Jedi. Your time has _not_ come,” a deep voice said to Finn from seemingly a great distance.

“Tired he is. Sleep for a while, he must. Mhmmmm,” a gruff voice then said, clearly talking to the first voice. Finn tried to listen harder, tried to differentiate the voices, to find out who was talking. Silence. Only silence met him and somehow everything felt different, more solid somehow.

Finn blinked slowly, where was he? It seemed cold… so cold. He would shiver if he had the strength to do so, as it was, all he could do was lie still, trying to bring the picture into focus. Was this the world between worlds? Was this being one with the Force? Why was it so cold? Then, two faces appeared, hovering above him, their outline almost blue… maybe grey? The faces leaned in closer, they belonged to Ben and Rey.

“I think he’s coming round,” Rey said to Ben.

“Good!” he replied, then addressing Finn, “You picked a fine time to take a nap!” Ben joked, gently supporting Finn to sit up.

“But the voice said I should sleep a while…” Finn said groggily, slurring his words slightly.

“There’s no one else here, Finn,” Rey said, completely puzzled, “It’s just you, me and Ben.” She looked at Ben, quite concerned about Finn, then turning back to him, “I was so scared for you Finn! I thought we lost you!” Rey said, crying now.

“No way. I would’ve totally haunted you as a Force Ghost… I would’ve been with you guys no matter what,” he tried to laugh, but found that it took more energy than he currently possessed. He wanted to get up but realised he couldn’t.

“Don’t. You should take it easy. The only one among us who’s fit to get up right now is Rey. She’s going to get help.”

“I still have my comms on me. Rey, don’t go get help. They’ll come down here and see Ben. Whatever Poe might say, I don’t think they believed you or even care that he’s no longer Kylo Ren. It would be best if you guys got out of here…” Finn said. “No, really,” he added, seeing both their expressions, “I’ll be totally fine. See?” He held up his comm link.

“Are you sure?” Rey asked.

“You’re not going to take another nap are you?” Ben then asked.

“I’m never going to live this one down, am I?” Finn said, cracking a smile as he rolled his eyes. He put the comm to his mouth, “Finn here. I’m under the surface of the planet. I got knocked down by the enemy. I’m… ok. I don’t think I can make it back up on my own power though. I hate to ask… but can someone come down for me? If you fly over, you should see a hole… well, I’m in it.” Finn smiled at Ben and Rey. “See? I’ll be fine.”

“Poe here. How do you always manage to get out of the worst of it, buddy?” Poe’s laugher came crackling over the comm. “We’re on our way. Is Rey with you?” Finn looked at the two of them, almost sadly.

“No. Palpatine managed to get away, I think she and Ben went after him,” Finn lied.

“Gotcha. Well, we’ll do a search for him too, we’ll catch the bastard before they can get to him. He doesn’t have any troops to command. It’s just him now. See you soon, buddy. Over and out.”

“Finn, he didn’t get away,” Rey began, “we fought him… and we won! We did it, we won, Finn!” Rey began to laugh, suddenly remembering the victory that she and Ben had won over forty minutes previously.

“You guys saved the galaxy! Nice!” Finn replied, grinning, then groaning as his head began to throb, “Oh yeah… I think I hit my head,” he said, running his hand lightly over the blood matted hair at the back of his head. “But seriously, guys, I’m fine! They’re going to be here any minute. Go!” Rey leaned forward and threw her arms around Finn, “Thank you! Thank you so much, Finn!” She whispered into his ear, “Thank you for saving us!” Ben shook hands with Finn, covering both their hands with his other one, and nodded his overwhelming gratitude.

Reluctantly, Ben got up with Rey’s help, slinging his arm over her shoulder as she took on some of his weight. Rey looked over to Finn, “We’ll see each other again soon!” Finn nodded, watching Ben limp away with Rey’s help up to one of the ships waiting for them on the surface.

“May the Force be with you,” he said into the silence after they had left.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue.
> 
> Smutty scene marked at the start and finish with **___________**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. I know I already thanked you guys, but thank you again for taking the time to read this story, and to each and every one of you who left a kudos or comment - it brought us so much joy!!  
> My last comment I'll have to steal from 'V for Vendetta' because it expresses it so beautifully:
> 
> "What I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you."

* * *

"Past the point of no return,

  
The final threshold.

  
The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn.

  
We've passed the point of no return" - Past the Point of No Return, Phantom of the Opera.

* * *

“Shhh! I’ve just put Atula down, it didn’t take long after the busy day he’s had,” Rey whispered to Ben.

“Good,” he smiled back at her, winking. She sighed in mock resignation as he led her by the hand to their snug bedroom. Rey had been feeling more energised, her first trimester well behind her. She smiled as she thought to herself that this time, Ben had been with her from the moment she had found out she was pregnant. Nothing would separate them now, she patted her stomach subconsciously.

“Never again, sweetheart,” Ben replied to her thoughts, clearly listening where he shouldn’t.

“Ben…” She cocked an eyebrow at him, “We’ve spoken about this. You’re not a Sith anymore, don’t behave like one,” she said mildly irritated. 

“And you’re not a Jedi. You’re far too feisty to be a Jedi,” he laughed, then growing serious, “I hope that I live long enough to make up for everything I did for the dark side. Sometimes I still feel it… it scares me that I might…” After a long pause, he continued, “What if you discover things about me that you can’t forgive…?” he shuddered.

“Don’t even think it!” Rey exclaimed, “Besides, I know everything I need to know about you!”

“You do?” He turned to Rey, and, after studying her for a long moment, he said in a low, quiet tone of voice that carried the weight of everything that had come before, “Oh. You do.”

**________________**

Rey proved her point by lacing his jaw with light kisses. When this did not elicit the right response from him, she sucked a trail down his neck towards his clavicle, then used her teeth to softly nip at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. This, at last, moved him to let out a soft groan. He pulled his shirt off in one smooth movement, then bent to rip his pants off, kicking them away. He then set about freeing her from the clothes that restricted him from gazing at her beautiful, full, naked body.

“I’m so glad you have more energy,” he grinned into her neck as he reciprocated her ministrations.

“More than that,” she purred, “I _need_ you! Ben, please!” She almost whined. He laid her down on their bed, openly staring down at her glowing beauty as she was spread before him. Rey was not content to wait, patience not being her strong suit. She lifted both feet and caressed his member, running it up and down between them and curling her toes around it playfully. He barely stifled a moan.

Capturing her feet in his grip, he spread her legs open so that he could look at her most secret parts, the only man who would ever do so.

“Dirty, dirty man,” Rey chuckled. Ben didn’t answer, instead, he began at her one ankle, kissing and sucking his way up her leg towards her hot centre.

“I’ll never get tired of seeing how wet you get for me, Rey!” He said between kisses.

“Sometimes, when you’re busy in the garden or at the market, I start to think of you and I get so wet that I just have to touch myself,” Rey admitted naughtily.

“Ohhhhh” he groaned into her inner thigh, “In that case, I’m never going out again! If one of us has to _make it better_ , I think it should be me,” he smiled wickedly. Before Rey could think up a fiery retort, he suddenly flicked his tongue against her clit, sending her straight into ecstasy. He lapped at her at a steady pace, feeling her twitch around his fingers as he expertly brought her to climax. Rey was panting, hardly able to catch her breath. Ben crawled up her body, carefully positioning himself along her growing bump, placing kisses along her side, finally capturing a nipple in his mouth, sucking with a firm but gentle clasp on the tight bud. Rey gasped as if it were the first time and involuntarily ran her hands through his wild curls, pulling his head closer.

His mouth reached hers, passionately sweeping his tongue into her mouth and tangling it with her tongue. Rey sat up without breaking the union of their mouths, then she shoved Ben away, much to his surprise. She began to palm his member feverishly, feeling it grow hard as steel beneath her hand. He reached down to return the favour to her already dripping folds but she stopped him,

“Uh, uh, uh” was all she said, “You can watch but you can’t touch,” she smirked up at him. Continuing with one hand gripping and sliding up and down his shaft at the pace she knew he liked, she brought the other to the centre of her need and swirled her fingers in a circular motion over her clit, stifling her moan as she brought herself to climax again as he watched.

“Rey!” Ben grumbled, “Rey! I’m going to come if you keep doing that! It’s so kriffing hot! Uhhh” he closed his eyes in pleasure. Rey released him, aware of how close he was. She kissed up his stomach towards his pectorals, then turned her back to him. He gripped her to him, softly kneading her breasts as he sucked the erotic zones along her shoulders and ear lobes. Rey got onto the bed on her hands and knees, wiggling her bottom in invitation. He didn’t need to be asked twice. Ben dragged his cock along her slit, gathering lubrication before he slid into Rey agonisingly slowly.

“Remember, you can’t make a sound…” Ben reminded Rey, but it only served to turn her on further. She gurgled unintelligibly, her mouth pressed hard into the mattress as he began to take his pleasure, slowing pulling out and thrusting back in.

“I love you, Rey,” he murmured, eyes closed as he began to pump faster into her tight sheath.

“Oh, Ben…” Was all Rey could manage to reply. Rey exploded around Ben’s cock, pulling on it as she spasmed and convulsed around him. He allowed himself a few hard strokes before succumbing to the glorious, hot sensation of her channel rippling around and massaging his shaft. He filled her with his spend, riding out his orgasm with a few more thrusts. Breathing hard, he bent and laid a soft kiss to Rey’s back. He would never tire of doing this with her, never.

After they had dressed in sleeping clothes, and Rey had snuggled close to Ben, she suddenly remember, “Ben… you won’t believe this! But the Force gave me a vision of us… doing what we did just now…”

Ben looked at her completely shocked, “No, I don’t believe it! Exactly like this?! When?!” 

“It was during our first _time_ together… I saw us, doing this… with me pregnant” Rey replied, nestling her head closer into Ben’s shoulder.

“And you didn’t pull away from me… after seeing that?” Ben replied in wonder.

“No. Ben, I pulled away from you once, when you offered me your hand and I regretted it. I could never do that to you again. Besides, if I think back on it, I think I’ve loved you for a long, long time. When we finally came together, I knew I’d found my home,” Rey said softly, kissing the corner of Ben’s mouth, “the idea of having your child didn’t scare me. It brought me joy,” she said simply.

“Thank the Maker for that,” Ben sighed and turned, folding Rey into his embrace. “I never thought I’d be allowed to have this… to have you, to have a family. Sometimes I feel like this life is one I stole… that I took and rewrote. It was all supposed to end differently, Force knows, I probably would have died a cold and lonely death, with nobody to care or mourn for me, the galaxy would have relegated me to a history book, long forgotten – if not for your love, Rey. You never gave up on me! I can never fully show you just how you make me feel,” he whispered, stroking Rey’s hair with a large, gentle hand.

“I think I have a good enough idea,” Rey mumbled happily, and yawned. She fell asleep cradled in her husband’s arms as he continued to stroke her hair, his eyes shining with love. 

**________________**

They had made their home on Lothal, it had only seemed fitting after Ben had found the temple there a year and 9 months previously. Plus, it didn’t hurt that it was a good place to lie low, and was rather beautiful in its own way. It also had a lovely capital city, where Rey and Ben sometimes took Atula to buy fresh fruits and vegetables, and other wares.

They had built a life for themselves alone, just the three of them, but they wouldn’t be alone forever. They had agreed that after the new baby had come, they would take a few years to finally live their lives as a family. They were both determined that their children would feel nothing but loved, cared for and seen – and, should one of their children turn out to be Force sensitive, which was more a ‘when’ than an ‘if’, they would wait with training. There were more important things in life.

After focusing on their family for as long as necessary, they would begin their life’s work. No more Jedi. No more Sith. They had finally let the past die, it was a time for new things to spring up in their place.

There would be a lot to do eventually. They would need to start building up the temple slowly, and writing out their own texts, a mixture of the knowledge of those who had come before and knowledge they had gained through their experiences, apart and together. Ben had already begun making notes when he wasn’t helping Rey with Atula or playing around with calligraphy, something that Rey couldn’t quite understand being anybody’s hobby. Then, after they had laid the foundations, they would find other Force sensitives to train.

At first, Rey had wondered if they should forget it all, forget what had come before and live a quiet life, but Ben had convinced her that it was the right thing to do. There were those in the galaxy who needed to know how to use their abilities for the good – and balance – of all. The galaxy was still recovering its footing after a seemingly endless war, and there were many who had not forgotten the idea of the Sith and the Jedi, good versus bad. There were also many who could, or would not see that there was a middle road, one that could only be achieved through balance between the two. Finn supported their idea and had committed to helping them achieve their goals, although Rey suspected that by the time they got round to it, Finn would have moved on with his life, especially since he had become an advisor to the newly formed Galactic Council of Peace.

Poe had been livid when Rey and Ben had snuck away from Exegol, not giving anyone the chance to question them, never mind debrief them. It had fallen to a suspiciously unknowledgeable Finn to describe how they had disappeared down a tunnel after Palpatine. He himself had not been able to follow due to his injuries at Palpatine’s hands, but, some moments after his last communication with Poe, he had definitely felt Palpatine die… through the Force of course. Despite his anger, if Poe did in fact know that it wasn’t entirely truthful, he never said as much, and the final reports reflected this version of events. He never questioned Finn on Ben and Rey’s location, but Finn was well aware that if the need arose, Poe would bang on his door to get in touch with Rey, who often sent messages to Finn, some of which were addressed to Chewie, who had returned to his waiting family on Kashyyyk.

The rag tag army of misfits who had banded together to fight for the galaxy mostly stayed in touch at first, but finally they went their separate ways to live lives that they vowed would never again be touched by any war. Quiet lives where they could begin to forget the traumas that haunted them, both awake and asleep. There would be no phantom menace, no clones to attack, no Sith to take revenge on an unsuspecting galaxy, no empire to strike back, no Jedi to return, no one for whom the Force would awaken, no last Jedi – or any at all. Although, they could not have known that in a small corner of the galaxy, the last of the Skywalkers had risen and would do what it took to keep his family, and the galaxy, safe from the power that threatened to engulf those who sought it. The last of the Skywalker line for whom, at last, there was a new hope. 


End file.
